My kids refuse to go to their grandfather's funeral

[Guest]

I have posted about the situation several times but here is a quick rundown. My ex husband was killed suddenly in a car accident. My kids and I made the decision to move from where we were living to a place closer to my parents and a bunch of other family. The kids wanted a fresh start.

When my inlaws found out they freaked out. They tried to demand that we did not move and started threatening both me and the kids with grandparent rights. We made it clear to them that if they tried they would be out of our lives forever. They did take it to court. The kids and I moved anyway, I came back for court and they did not win grandparent rights. They didnt meet any of the criteria to even have grandparent rights. This started the constant harassment and stalking from the grandparents. They showed up in the new state were were living in multiple times and kept stopping by because "they were in the neighborhood"

My kids ended up getting restraining orders and no contact orders. Back in June (if I remember correctly) FIL was arrested for breaking the orders multiple times. While he was in jail he had a stroke. Others in the family (that we have never been close with) reached out because he was in the hospital and they were not sure if he would make it. They were trying to guilt me and my kids into breaking the orders to go and see him. The kids told them no they wouldnt even go to his funeral if he died.

Well he ended up having another stroke and he did die. His funeral is this weekend and my kids will not go. They have no desire to go. xMIL is losing her mind. She was running her mouth during xFILs first stroke that the kids would at least show up for the funeral.

Of course all of this is my fault because who knows. I guess my kids cant have a mind of their own. My xin laws didnt just burn the bridge they blew the whole thing up beyond repair.

[Spunky]

That whole thing makes me sad. It's their choice.

[guest]

Stop worrying about what that family thinks or feels. You are giving them way too much headspace.

[RedBottoms]

team you. They took you to court for grandparents rights so they should be completely cut off. No funeral.

I still advise stop listening to family gossip about them and what they think and what they are saying. Just completely wash your hands of them and live your life

[famousglm714]

I don't know why it matters if you guys have cut them out. MIL can go ahead and be mad. Oh well. Just make sure she's blocked from everything for you and the kids.

[Guest]

Stop worrying about what that family thinks or feels. You are giving them way too much headspace.

I dont worry about what they say. I find the whole thing humorous more than anything. Not the actual death because a death is never funny but the fact that his family thinks we care and that MIL thinks all will be forgotten.

[HaggardWitch]

This situation certainly got blown out of proportion. The in-laws missed their son, so they reached out to you. Grief made them overbearing, but it would have subsided.

I think your decision was to move back to your family was a good one. Some patience towards your in-laws would have soothed their grief and they would have been more bearable.

But bitterness has set in. You and your children are acting just like your in-laws did. You MIL lost her son, grandchildren and now husband; and you and your children are still bitter and vindictive. Are you all really so rigid?

[Guest]

This situation certainly got blown out of proportion. The in-laws missed their son, so they reached out to you. Grief made them overbearing, but it would have subsided.

I think your decision was to move back to your family was a good one. Some patience towards your in-laws would have soothed their grief and they would have been more bearable.

But bitterness has set in. You and your children are acting just like your in-laws did. You MIL lost her son, grandchildren and now husband; and you and your children are still bitter and vindictive. Are you all really so rigid?

If you threaten to take my children away from me I will no longer have contact with you. That is a completely normal response.

My kids are not vindictive, bitter maybe because while they were dealing with the grieve of their father dying their grandparents were threatening to take them away from their mother. I am pretty sure that would make anyone bitter

[Valentina327]

This situation certainly got blown out of proportion. The in-laws missed their son, so they reached out to you. Grief made them overbearing, but it would have subsided.

I think your decision was to move back to your family was a good one. Some patience towards your in-laws would have soothed their grief and they would have been more bearable.

But bitterness has set in. You and your children are acting just like your in-laws did. You MIL lost her son, grandchildren and now husband; and you and your children are still bitter and vindictive. Are you all really so rigid?

If you threaten to take my children away from me I will no longer have contact with you. That is a completely normal response.

My kids are not vindictive, bitter maybe because while they were dealing with the grieve of their father dying their grandparents were threatening to take them away from their mother. I am pretty sure that would make anyone bitter

Trying to get to visit their grandchildren, the last earthly piece of their son that they just lost, isn't them trying to take your children away. You completely twisted that. You were taking them away from the grandparents immediately after they just lost their son. They were desperate and trying to stop it.

Some kindness and compassion while you were ALL grieving would have served all of you much better than this. It would have been a much better life lesson for your kids. I'm sure you twisted the entire circumstance, and misstated things as you've done just now, which amped up your children. If course they're going to follow your lead - you're their mother. They just lost their father.

It's too bad you didn't lead them with some kindness and decency. I don't know that I'd be so proud of raising such callous human beings.

[Guest]

This situation certainly got blown out of proportion. The in-laws missed their son, so they reached out to you. Grief made them overbearing, but it would have subsided.

I think your decision was to move back to your family was a good one. Some patience towards your in-laws would have soothed their grief and they would have been more bearable.

But bitterness has set in. You and your children are acting just like your in-laws did. You MIL lost her son, grandchildren and now husband; and you and your children are still bitter and vindictive. Are you all really so rigid?

If you threaten to take my children away from me I will no longer have contact with you. That is a completely normal response.

My kids are not vindictive, bitter maybe because while they were dealing with the grieve of their father dying their grandparents were threatening to take them away from their mother. I am pretty sure that would make anyone bitter

Trying to get to visit their grandchildren, the last earthly piece of their son that they just lost, isn't them trying to take your children away. You completely twisted that. You were taking them away from the grandparents immediately after they just lost their son. They were desperate and trying to stop it.

Some kindness and compassion while you were ALL grieving would have served all of you much better than this. It would have been a much better life lesson for your kids. I'm sure you twisted the entire circumstance, and misstated things as you've done just now, which amped up your children. If course they're going to follow your lead - you're their mother. They just lost their father.

It's too bad you didn't lead them with some kindness and decency. I don't know that I'd be so proud of raising such callous human beings.

They tried to prove I was an unfit mother in court. They were going for full custody. We had told them before the court thing that we would still be coming back to visit at least 2 times a year. That wasn't good enough for them. Before that they said my kids maybe once a year for Christmas. They also didn't have a good relationship with my ex.