Is this ever not a thing?

[Anonymous 1]

My parents are in their 80’s now. They are doing OK, but that is definitely not a thing for our family. They are just trying to stay living independently — no time to worry about me anymore.

Oh, mine are in their 80s and have plenty of their own things to worry about but, no, they still behave this way.

[Anonymous 2]

My mom is one of those who believe if you're not doing it EXACTLY as she's doing it, you're doing it wrong.

It absolutely drives her nuts that I don't live my life just like her.

She gave me an earful over some reproduction movie posters I bought myself for Christmas LOL. All because she "would never blow her money on something so stupid".

Sounds just like my dad. Ironically he yelled at my mom that she couldn't talk to me because I needed to figure things out on my own when I was first married and moved out. 6 months no contact he said. Thankfully she didn't listen because I was like mom who do I call to get electricity? She wouldn't do it for me and she didn't pay it she just gave me a direction. He was so mad.
But then he would come dig through my trash cans for receipts and tell me exactly why I was wrong for spending that money.

Funnily enough, my dad constantly tells her to get off my balls about it LOL. I mean, I have a mortgage and a career. My kid is an adult. Why get bent out of shape over spending $40 for a couple of reproduction Child's Play posters LOL (or $25 for an Optimus Prime figure)

My dad says my mom and I don't live in the "real world." I'm in my 40s, have 2 kids, we used to have a house but we sold it to move across the country. It's not like I'm living in his house and relying on him to pay my bills.
But he's a classic narcissist so there's that. My kid wanting another bike because he loves mountain biking is a waste he already has one. When my kids were little getting him to agree to any gift was the worst. They don't need Magnetic blocks they already have wooden blocks it's the same thing. They don't need need a power wheel they have a car already (a hot wheel). They didn't need a crib he just slept in a dresser drawer. They didn't need a car seat I was just being overprotective after all he survived without one. And I'm holding them back by making them wear a helmet when they ride on something with wheels. How does that hold them back? Meanwhile he can own 50 fishing poles and have a gun collection that's different. And to be clear I didn't ask him to buy my kids anything this was all him asking what they wanted for Christmas/birthday (because he would never spend money on them outside of that and not a dime over $50 for those) or stuff I was buying them myself.
I'm so thankful I moved away from him. I see him twice a year and talk to him on the phone maybe 2-3 times a year that's it. It's peaceful and I feel like I finally have confidence for the first time in my life. Like maybe I do have some value and maybe people do want me around for me.

[EarlGrayHot]

It's hard not to worry about kids no matter how old they are but I don't treat my daughter like she's an idiot. I help her or advise her if she asks but she's doing well in her life.

[Murdoc's Mistress]

Sounds just like my dad. Ironically he yelled at my mom that she couldn't talk to me because I needed to figure things out on my own when I was first married and moved out. 6 months no contact he said. Thankfully she didn't listen because I was like mom who do I call to get electricity? She wouldn't do it for me and she didn't pay it she just gave me a direction. He was so mad.
But then he would come dig through my trash cans for receipts and tell me exactly why I was wrong for spending that money.

Funnily enough, my dad constantly tells her to get off my balls about it LOL. I mean, I have a mortgage and a career. My kid is an adult. Why get bent out of shape over spending $40 for a couple of reproduction Child's Play posters LOL (or $25 for an Optimus Prime figure)

My dad says my mom and I don't live in the "real world." I'm in my 40s, have 2 kids, we used to have a house but we sold it to move across the country. It's not like I'm living in his house and relying on him to pay my bills.
But he's a classic narcissist so there's that. My kid wanting another bike because he loves mountain biking is a waste he already has one. When my kids were little getting him to agree to any gift was the worst. They don't need Magnetic blocks they already have wooden blocks it's the same thing. They don't need need a power wheel they have a car already (a hot wheel). They didn't need a crib he just slept in a dresser drawer. They didn't need a car seat I was just being overprotective after all he survived without one. And I'm holding them back by making them wear a helmet when they ride on something with wheels. How does that hold them back? Meanwhile he can own 50 fishing poles and have a gun collection that's different. And to be clear I didn't ask him to buy my kids anything this was all him asking what they wanted for Christmas/birthday (because he would never spend money on them outside of that and not a dime over $50 for those) or stuff I was buying them myself.
I'm so thankful I moved away from him. I see him twice a year and talk to him on the phone maybe 2-3 times a year that's it. It's peaceful and I feel like I finally have confidence for the first time in my life. Like maybe I do have some value and maybe people do want me around for me.

Oh lord, he sounds like one of those boomers who gushes about how wonderful everything was when he was a kid during the stone age. It is wild to me how they think how they did things is so much better and evolving with the times just automatically means soft and not right.

Glad interactions with him are brief.

[Anonymous 2]

Funnily enough, my dad constantly tells her to get off my balls about it LOL. I mean, I have a mortgage and a career. My kid is an adult. Why get bent out of shape over spending $40 for a couple of reproduction Child's Play posters LOL (or $25 for an Optimus Prime figure)

My dad says my mom and I don't live in the "real world." I'm in my 40s, have 2 kids, we used to have a house but we sold it to move across the country. It's not like I'm living in his house and relying on him to pay my bills.
But he's a classic narcissist so there's that. My kid wanting another bike because he loves mountain biking is a waste he already has one. When my kids were little getting him to agree to any gift was the worst. They don't need Magnetic blocks they already have wooden blocks it's the same thing. They don't need need a power wheel they have a car already (a hot wheel). They didn't need a crib he just slept in a dresser drawer. They didn't need a car seat I was just being overprotective after all he survived without one. And I'm holding them back by making them wear a helmet when they ride on something with wheels. How does that hold them back? Meanwhile he can own 50 fishing poles and have a gun collection that's different. And to be clear I didn't ask him to buy my kids anything this was all him asking what they wanted for Christmas/birthday (because he would never spend money on them outside of that and not a dime over $50 for those) or stuff I was buying them myself.
I'm so thankful I moved away from him. I see him twice a year and talk to him on the phone maybe 2-3 times a year that's it. It's peaceful and I feel like I finally have confidence for the first time in my life. Like maybe I do have some value and maybe people do want me around for me.

Oh lord, he sounds like one of those boomers who gushes about how wonderful everything was when he was a kid during the stone age. It is wild to me how they think how they did things is so much better and evolving with the times just automatically means soft and not right.

Glad interactions with him are brief.

That's exactly what he's like. Don't forget we should be able to easily buy a huge house because dh makes 6 figures and in the next breath he complains about how hard it was to pay his $400 mortgage in the 80s.