Article on being childfree

[Murdoc's Mistress]

It was said often enough. I remember a few threads and posts through the years where full debates would break out because several would attack others because in their eyes, once you became a mom, that was your entire identity and you needed to make sure your hobbies could include your children or just no longer have those hobbies.

I remember the women who felt if a woman got divorced or widowed she was not allowed to date until her last child turned 18 because her children should be her everything and f**k her having any kind of meaningful adult relationship.

I'm probably someone who had my comments misinterpreted to mean what you wrote here. But I promise I am not really that extreme. But I do believe that a divorced mom or widowed mom does have a responsibility to her children even when it comes to dating. She can't just think about how it affects herself as a childless woman can. The mother has to also think about how her actions affect her child(ren). So leaving the child alone with the guy after two dates? Moving in with the guy after one month? Moving across country with the child solely to be closer to the guy? Are those smart decisions for a single mom to make? Are they good for her child? Or are they only good for herself to the detriment of her child? And does this mean she can never date until her child is 18? No. That would be ridiculous. But there are enough parents out there who seem to put finding a mate above everything else, even their own children, even when the choices hurt their own children, and that's what is wrong.

As parents, whether married or not, we make some sacrifices to what we personally want for the benefit of our children. And I would say anyone who doesn't want to make any sacrifices at all should seriously consider never having children. That's for all sexes, all genders.

Oh I def agree there should be caution. The last dude I dated, we were involved nearly a year before I allowed him to pick my kid up from the sitter just one time LOL. We got together a few times prior with all the kids so they could have a playdate type thing, but neither of us were alone with each other's kids until a good year into the relationship. This had been something we both talked about in depth because he had young kids and I had a young child (ages 4, 5 & 8 at the time).

I have zero sympathy towards women who move men in within a week and leave their kids with them and then act shocked when the man harms them. They more or less served their kids on a platter and should face some kind of charges too.