Mom Confessions

I wish we had better conversations around death and quality of life in this country rather than stopping at "alive at any cost".

So young. Depression is tough and I hate she feels that is the only way out.

I agree. I used to suffer from severe depressions. Medication didn’t do much, I ended up having ECT and I haven’t had a depression episode in over 20 years since. From that experience I wonder if indeed there’s no option, it’s so sad to end a life that maybe could eventually be happy and fulfilling. But her life, her choice.
It does also begs the question of how much leeway should a person with such serious mental illness should have to make these life or death choices. I’m alive now thanks to people who took charge and didn’t just let me die because I didn’t see a way out.
It’s just such a sad situation.

SouthernIslander wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 1:46 pm So young. Deperession is tough and I hate she feels that is the only way out.

After her death her case will be reviewed? That’s too shoot first ask questions later to me. There is a global mental health crisis and mental health care is falling short. I think this is morally and ethically a slippery slope that shouldn’t be taken at this time.

Momto2boys973 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 5:36 pm I agree. I used to suffer from severe depressions. Medication didn’t do much, I ended up having ECT and I haven’t had a depression episode in over 20 years since. From that experience I wonder if indeed there’s no option, it’s so sad to end a life that maybe could eventually be happy and fulfilling. But her life, her choice.
It does also begs the question of how much leeway should a person with such serious mental illness should have to make these life or death choices. I’m alive now thanks to people who took charge and didn’t just let me die because I didn’t see a way out.
It’s just such a sad situation.

SouthernIslander wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 1:46 pm So young. Depression is tough and I hate she feels that is the only way out.

I agree. Mental illness is so complex, I'd have to know a lot more about the young lady in the article for me to agree or disagree with her doing that. I've had family who was not mentally capable of making medical decisions and it resulted in a very unnecessary death that was pretty much by choice. It's nowhere near as simple as it seems, and I wouldn't wish that on any family.


I am glad you are doing better. What is ECT if you don't mind me asking?

I think I'm looking at this from a little bit of a different perspective. In the last 10 years (most in the last 3) I've lost family and friends to suicide so much so that I now keep a page in my journal where I list their names and that page is getting full.

In looking at the list, I feel that several like my dad, would have been granted assisted suicide in Netherlands. I feel that several, like my husband, would have been denied BUT potentially would have gotten the services needed. The last third, like my daughter's friend Zeke, were spur of the moment seemingly without thought so they were lost. Most of them I know would have preferred to have not died alone.

The suicide rate in Netherlands is better than the US but not great. I would be curious if the increase in assisted suicide actually lowers the rate of suicide. Our mental health care in US is just frantically working triage and it's failing. I don't think we're prepared to even start to address suicide in any meaningful manner here in the US which sucks as the rates are abhorrent.

We are not kind to our kids, our vets, our adults, our elderly, our sick, or even our animals. I don't think we are prepared to be kind to people in death.

I wonder how her boyfriend feels about this.

Momto2boys973 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 5:36 pm I agree. I used to suffer from severe depressions. Medication didn’t do much, I ended up having ECT and I haven’t had a depression episode in over 20 years since. From that experience I wonder if indeed there’s no option, it’s so sad to end a life that maybe could eventually be happy and fulfilling. But her life, her choice.
It does also begs the question of how much leeway should a person with such serious mental illness should have to make these life or death choices. I’m alive now thanks to people who took charge and didn’t just let me die because I didn’t see a way out.
It’s just such a sad situation.

SouthernIslander wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 1:46 pm So young. Deperession is tough and I hate she feels that is the only way out.

You're very lucky you had the support and love you needed to recover. ECT therapy is extreme and usually last ditch. I'm glad you're still here with us.

This woman has borderline personality disorder on top of depression. Since BPD is often triggered by childhood trauma there's a good chance she has little family support. Situations like hers break my heart because with the right supports and societal structure she could likely live a comfortable life.

Electro-convulsive therapy. Basically they give low doses of electric charges to the brain that alter the chemistry.

SouthernIslander wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 6:10 pm

Momto2boys973 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 5:36 pm I agree. I used to suffer from severe depressions. Medication didn’t do much, I ended up having ECT and I haven’t had a depression episode in over 20 years since. From that experience I wonder if indeed there’s no option, it’s so sad to end a life that maybe could eventually be happy and fulfilling. But her life, her choice.
It does also begs the question of how much leeway should a person with such serious mental illness should have to make these life or death choices. I’m alive now thanks to people who took charge and didn’t just let me die because I didn’t see a way out.
It’s just such a sad situation.

SouthernIslander wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 1:46 pm So young. Depression is tough and I hate she feels that is the only way out.

I agree. Mental illness is so complex, I'd have to know a lot more about the young lady in the article for me to agree or disagree with her doing that. I've had family who was not mentally capable of making medical decisions and it resulted in a very unnecessary death that was pretty much by choice. It's nowhere near as simple as it seems, and I wouldn't wish that on any family.


I am glad you are doing better. What is ECT if you don't mind me asking?