I guess I am a bully

[RIZZY]

Let me guess... you're not like other girls?

[Anonymous 1]

You're raising a jerk.

How is he a jerk? Because he was wrestling with his cousin? They both are in wrestling clubs and do meets. They are very similar in size and they love it. They don't get to see each a lot. So when they do, they wrestle because they love it.
If they were not wrestling, they would be playing football or basketball or soccer. The girls will play soccer with them. Pretty much if the boys are together, they are playing some kind of sport. They both have sisters around their ages and love to have a boy that plays like they do.

They were not going to stop playing to go do crafts or play video games. They like being active.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Reread what the lady with AZ in her name said. She made a good point.

[Heyteacher]

You were rude, straight up. If my child unintentionally caused a smaller, non athletic child to cry during play then you are darn skippy that I would ask that they play more gently. That isn’t being whimpy that is being courteous. Eventually one of the three would have moved on and played something else—no adult commentary required.

What you are teaching your son is that his needs, and wants trump those of his peers and they should simply allow it because he is entitled…

[Murdoc's Mistress]

Prob should have worded it differently but I don't think you were a bully. If the boys were wrestling and this special little tender boy couldn't hack it, he could play with someone else instead of expecting everyone to force the other kids to "wrestle nicer" (whatever the hell that is).

[Anonymous 1]

You were rude, straight up. If my child unintentionally caused a smaller, non athletic child to cry during play then you are darn skippy that I would ask that they play more gently. That isn’t being whimpy that is being courteous. Eventually one of the three would have moved on and played something else—no adult commentary required.

What you are teaching your son is that his needs, and wants trump those of his peers and they should simply allow it because he is entitled…

Well said.

[MrsDavidB]

My son wrestled also. When he was teaching my younger nephew he did not go full force. He was a teacher showing moves and technicality. There is a way to "wrestle softer" with a boy who has never done it before. Geez.

[Vegaswife2011]

You’re not nice.

[Olioxenfree]

You're raising a jerk.

How is he a jerk? Because he was wrestling with his cousin? They both are in wrestling clubs and do meets. They are very similar in size and they love it. They don't get to see each a lot. So when they do, they wrestle because they love it.
If they were not wrestling, they would be playing football or basketball or soccer. The girls will play soccer with them. Pretty much if the boys are together, they are playing some kind of sport. They both have sisters around their ages and love to have a boy that plays like they do.

They were not going to stop playing to go do crafts or play video games. They like being active.

She didn’t say he was a jerk, she said you are raising him to be a jerk. Which I don’t know if you are or not but this lesson you just gave him is definitely teaching bad sportsmanship. The other boy obviously wanted to play wrestle or he wouldn’t have joined in in the first place. He didn’t come in and demand they stop, he just asked that they wrestle softer with him because he hasn’t done it before.

My eldest son plays tennis and does martial arts and in both he has been chosen to help out the instructor with the younger kids, because he is both very skilled and he also has control which is a huge benefit to success in sports. When he’s playing with the younger kids he plays to challenge, not to dominate. He makes them try but doesn’t just crush them because that wouldn’t teach them anything. They easily could have kept being active and just used his turn to wrestle to show him some basic moves and then went harder with each other. Your son has plenty of wrestling time in his life, he doesn’t see these cousins often you say, so I wouldn’t encourage my kids to exclude others based on a certain skill and throw in some sexist bullshit of “go play with the girls if he doesn’t like it.”

Because I highly doubt all seven of those girls have zero interest in any athletic activity, they most likely just don’t do it with your son because they don’t want to get pinned down and told “well that’s how the boys play, go back to your crafts if you don’t like it.” Every person except one on here has told you that you were the asshole in this and that’s not something commonly agreed upon on here.

[CherryTreez]

He isn’t “too soft to handle it”, they have been wrestling since they were in kindergarten and he has never done it, that’s not “soft” that’s an unfair match. All of my kids have been in martial arts since they were toddlers. They are skilled. My sisters kids haven’t been doing it for as long and aren’t as skilled, they will still play spar with them and show them techniques. They also know 100% that play sparing with their cousins is not a competition and they need to play to their opponents abilities. They are not to take down their cousin and potentially injure them just because they can.

Same with other sports, I have one son who is very good at soccer and plays on a travel team, but when he’s just playing with his friends and siblings around the yard he knows to tone it down. That doesn’t mean losing on purpose or that he can’t play well, but he also knows to keep it fun for everyone and not to hog the ball and ruin everyone else’s time just because he has more experience. Going full force on someone who isn’t an equal match while playing is horrible sportsmanship. The way you responded reminds me of how my father in law used to treat my husband and his siblings and there’s a reason why he has a bad relationship with most of his kids.

They are 8. It's 3 years. He didn't get thrown, he didn't get taken down. They went from knees with him on top to him pinned. Seconds..

[CherryTreez]

You are absolutely a bully. My son hates wrestling and always has and I'd be furious if you laughed at him and told him to go play with the girls then. It's a sensory thing for him and he wasn't athletic until his teenage years.
A more appropriate thing to do would be to call your son over and remind him to go easy on him because he's new to wrestling. I'd suggest he teach him some moves and help him out instead of going full out against him. Or let him be a ref or something so he can be included with the boys without wrestling that hard. Are you afraid your son will learn to be kind and compassionate towards others? That he will learn to be a good teammate and build others up instead of dominating? You're exactly the type of person I avoid when it comes to sports.

I laughed at my sister and her daughter. Not the kid. He wanted to wrestle. He saw what they were doing. And the girls are all the other cousins that were there.

He wanted to play with the boys. Then he wanted to change it because he didn't like how they were playing. It's not right to make kids stop what they are doing because you don't like it.