Wwyd?

[carterscutie85]

My son is almost 15 and he goes to a charter school. They can only get so many write ups, etc before the school kicks them out.

My son (not on purpose ) is working hard to get kicked out. Most of it is PDA with his girlfriend or involves her in some way. One was for cheating and one was for threatening her ex boyfriend, but the rest were for PDA with her. Yesterday she was caught sitting on his lap at lunch groping him.

He is close to getting expelled because of all these write ups.

So I have some choices:

Yank him out before he has an expulsion on his record. If I do that, the choices for schools are boarding school, faith based private schools because there aren't any non faith based private ones here, or the ultra shitty public school.

Or I can let him get expelled and then it's likely only the public school will take him because I've looked into it and the private schools have conditions to get in, one of which is no expulsions.

The very last option is online school which he did not do well with during the pandemic.

Part of me thinks I should let him learn and then he'll have to go to the public school. Another part is wants to jump in and stop that from happening.

He's also an atheist so going to a faith based based school is something he'd hate. I know that the cycle will repeat itself with a new girl in any new school, only thing is it's much much harder to get expelled from a public school than it is a private or charter school. A private/charter is where you only get so many chances and you're out. A public you'd have to do something pretty terrible to get expelled here.

There is one all boys private faith based school here, but I'm not sure if I can afford that one even with scholarships and grants. My SD will go to an all girls high school next year and her Mom still pays thousands even with the financial aid. Which I am also not sure we qualify for.

I cannot realistically expect the school to keep them apart. They have other kids to watch too. Nor can they block communication with this girl because they use the school emails and have some of the same classes so they'll need that line open to communicate about schoolwork.

I think part of it is trying to get as much time together as they can, but the girl's parents will not allow them to see each other out of school, they either say no or don't respond when I try to set something up. The Dad is also a psychopath who sent my son a threatening email warning him to stay away. I am not going to continue to reach out especially after her Dad threatening my son, that just shows he's got a screw loose and I'm not going to keep trying to convince them to let the kids see each other less he comes after me.

No sort of punishment on my end or the school's has stopped their excessive PDA. It's not like he's getting write ups for holding hands or a peck on the lips, it's groping/excessive that he keeps getting in trouble for. The girl does too for the record. She gets in the same trouble as him but none of it makes a difference to either of them.

He has it in his head that if he gets expelled he can come back next year and will not believe me or the school that that's not how it works.

The free boarding school I found is a military type one and I absolutely think it will do him a world of good, but sending him away is not something I want to do, but will if I have to. He lives in his own world with his own rules and refuses to listen to any adult who tells him anything he doesn't want to hear.

[Slimshandy]

Don’t send him away… those kids come back 10x worse than when they left.

He does need to be kept away from that girl if they can’t or won’t control themselves… because in reality, it’s her that will have to deal with the life changing pregnancy if it happens.




I’d send him to the faith based , cheaper school because even if he’s an atheist, he doesn’t have to believe anything about Jesus, but he does need to learn how to control his actions in a responsible way.

[MrsDavidB]

I saw your post in another group and could not believe everyone was ragging on you saying you are blaming the girl. You're not. Anyway I don't really have an answer on the best thing to do. It's crazy they keep doing this at school. It's so inappropriate. I wonder what his reaction will be though once he is ripped away from this girl and put in another school. I'm just saying be prepared for him to really act out at home and be out of control. I don't know.

[carterscutie85]

I saw your post in another group and could not believe everyone was ragging on you saying you are blaming the girl. You're not. Anyway I don't really have an answer on the best thing to do. It's crazy they keep doing this at school. It's so inappropriate. I wonder what his reaction will be though once he is ripped away from this girl and put in another school. I'm just saying be prepared for him to really act out at home and be out of control. I don't know.

He has it in his head that she will transfer to whatever school he ends up in. The public school is out of her district and the girl's parents are not going to pay for her to go to a private school to see him. But as usual that's the truth that he's made up in his mind so he won't listen. They don't even let her have a phone or computer outside of school.

[mommy_jules]

I’d take my kid out before the expulsion, then send him to public school. Whether or not a school will accept him is one issue, but it still follows him and teachers are made aware of past behavior issues, etc.

[Anonymous 1]

I think I would do this as well. That way if the public school doesn't end up working out for whatever reason, you still have the private schools as an option. Good luck to you! I haven't dealt with this exact situation before, but I have dealt with extremely crazy parents and it's just awful!

I’d take my kid out before the expulsion, then send him to public school. Whether or not a school will accept him is one issue, but it still follows him and teachers are made aware of past behavior issues, etc.

[WellPreserved]

I would pull him out and send him to public school at least for the rest of the school year. Revisit private school options for next school year. My opinion on religious based private school is that education can be good, but usually the student and family has to sign a statement of faith and it your son attends based on a lie, he will think that behavior is acceptable as long as he doesn’t get caught. There are some great boarding schools out they both coed and single S*x but that decision shouldn’t be made without a ton of research and school visits as there are some pretty bad ones out there too.

This sounds like a situation that needs immediate action. Putting your son in public school until summer will give you a bit of time to think through.

[LuckyEightWow]

What are the consequences for his behavior? Sorry but it is on purpose, he is 15 and not 5 and if he can’t behave maturely then he is not ready for a relationship so he either shapes up, or he can start losing privileges and the girlfriend.

Can’t behave at lunch, he can sit in the office. Can’t behave at brake he can sit in the office. The school 100% has resources to help combat the problem, they just need to step up.

[Anonymous 2]

We send our kiddo to private school because of those behaviors from others. So if your kiddo isn’t interested in following g rules (and yes it IS his fault) then I wouldn’t waste the $ on tuition.

If he doesn’t want to comply with rules and regs he needs to be held accountable. I would tell him my expectations and the consequences if he doesn’t comply. Period. He is a minor, he doesn’t make the rules, he follows them.

[Heyteacher]

Our boys attend Catholic school. The only faith based admission is for the tuition discount. However they were on probation for the first quarter. Any mishap regardless of how minimal could result in removal. So there is that option.

I would pull him out and send him to public school at least for the rest of the school year. Revisit private school options for next school year. My opinion on religious based private school is that education can be good, but usually the student and family has to sign a statement of faith and it your son attends based on a lie, he will think that behavior is acceptable as long as he doesn’t get caught. There are some great boarding schools out they both coed and single S*x but that decision shouldn’t be made without a ton of research and school visits as there are some pretty bad ones out there too.

This sounds like a situation that needs immediate action. Putting your son in public school until summer will give you a bit of time to think through.