kid free vacation and guilt

[PrincessLaLa]

Do any of you take vacations without your children?
I've been wanting to go somewhere in particular for a while now but can't find a way to make it happen with my children. We've only ever done family vacations before so I'm not sure how to feel about leaving the country without them. I'm worried they'll feel left out, they're 13 & 15 so aren't super keen to hangout with me and DH in general but this feels different. Thoughts?

[mcginnisc]

Dh and I did it in 2021 for our 25th anniversary. We went to Europe for 2 weeks. They were 15 and 13 when we went. My mom and MIL ( BFFS) came up and stayed with them and drove them all over creation for those two weeks. My kids knew they were not invited on that trip and had no issues at all. We did a river cruise. We spent 4 days in Amsterdam, then went to Cologne Germany, Rudesheim Germany, Heidelberg Germany, Strasbourg France, Riquewhir France, Basel- Lucerne- Zurich Switzerland. We had a blast and so did the kids with their grandmothers. We are doing it again next year. The difference is my oldest will be 19, a junior in college, and my youngest will be 16. My mom is coming to hang out with her as she doesn't want to be by herself for 2 weeks. <--very fair IMO. We only do it for big anniversaries..20th, we did an Alaskan cruise and sent them to their grands' in FL while we were gone..25th was Europe, 30 will be Europe..all other trips are family trips and we work around the college kiddo's schedule.

[Momto2boys973]

Growing up I never had a problem with my parents taking vacations by themselves. I understood that it’s healthy for a relationship to sometimes focus on each other. We never had the opportunity to do it ourselves, but I’m sure my children would understand. We’re actually leaving next week to visit my younger son, who’s studying abroad and my oldest is more than happy to have the house to himself.

[WellPreserved]

My husband and I went on vacation together (without kids) annually. Sometimes it was a weekend, sometimes a week. I also went on vacation with friends and no husband or kids. Tried to do it every year but missed a couple of years here and there.

[LiveWhatULove]

I do not think you should feel guilty at all.

[Anonymous 1]

We used to do a small weekend vacation for our anniversary every year. I miss those days.

[Olioxenfree]

We have six kids, 3-13, and take long weekend trips without the kids multiple times a year. It’s usually to go on trips with friends and our schedules during those trips just aren’t kid friendly, plus we don’t want our friends to have to spend their trip having to think about what they say in front of the kids. We also usually do a couple of long weekend trips with just my husband and I.

We have had a good handful of longer trips with just us over the years as well. My extended family mostly live abroad so we usually spend about a month traveling in the summer (we took a few years off during covid). We usually spend a few days in France at one of my grandparents homes, then we sometimes take the kids for a few days in another country before heading to Japan for two weeks. My parents meet us in Japan and usually we spend a week there together and then my husband and I will go travel somewhere else for five days and the kids stay with my parents at my relatives.

We honestly don’t mind traveling with the kids and we take plenty of family trips. Our kids all enjoy museums, historic sites, hikes, etc because they are used to them, so it’s not like we can’t enjoy ourselves when we take family trips. But traveling with six other people is expensive and not all of our trips involve things the kids would be able to do and enjoy, so I’ve never felt guilty about it. My parents went on trips growing up and I remember missing them when I was young, but not being angry with them.

[Gorilla_Mama]

I’ve never done out of the country, but dh and I have taken several just us trips, usually for a long weekend. My kids never minded bc grandma spoils the heck out of them so it’s like a vacation for them too lol. We would also video call them daily too which I think helped.

[LuckyEightWow]

If you know it’s somewhere they would want to go, and have, I wouldn’t do it. Otherwise ask them how they would feel, they may be more then happy to stay behind.

[MrsDavidB]

No we don't. I do feel guilty and wish I didn't. We only have 2 left at home and they are just so well behaved and really enjoy the trips together (16 & 14). And I also know that in a blink of an eye they will be grown and gone too like my 2 older ones who are out of the house and living on their own. So I only have a precious few years left.