If someone said to you

[Pjmm]

If someone said to you that they "neither believe or disbelieve" you when you told them about trauma caused by a family member is that the same as them saying they don't believe you?

I feel like it is. Because if they admitted that what I said was true, then they'd have to admit that they are A-OK with having a relationship with someone who mentally, physically and sexually abused me. It feels like they don't want to admit that what I'm saying is true so they can continue to have their rose colored glasses on.

I've decided to cut out everyone who said that to me. Ever since I cut the abuser off, I don't get invited to family functions. Because they all invite her instead. And they say they can't invite us both because they know she'll start stuff with me and ruin their party. So they invite her and even with some of the abuse they acknowledge, they make excuses and say "that's just how she is" while saying they believe that part but "neither believe or disbelieve" the other parts.

Is it wrong for to expect them to choose me? To believe me? They also say she wasn't abusive to them so that's also why they can't acknowledge that what I say is the truth.

It sounds like they don't have enough information to make a decision one way or the other.

They did witness a lot of the abuse. But they say "that's just how she is" about it.

I'd assume they have their blinders on and don't want to believe this person committed the abuse. It's hard to believe someone you care about is abusive. It's not an excuse; I think they're copping out.

[Anonymous 5]

They likely don't know what to believe. I'm kind of in the same place with someone I know.

It seems to me that if I had witnessed abuse as the had, and then the victim said the abuser hurt them more, I'd believe them because I know the abuser already hurt them.

I didn't witness the abuse in this case. I did know the parents and child since the child was born. But what abuse did they witness? I used to be told how lucky I was to have my abusive dad because he's "such a great dad." They just didn't realize what was happening behind closed doors went beyond what they saw in public.