Do you do any of these 6 things for your teenagers?

Deleted User 2088

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This is from an article I happened across yesterday about things we should no longer do for our teens:

1. Wake them up in the morning for school
2. Pack their lunches and snacks
3. Filling out paperwork for them
4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency)
5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time
6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work.
Anonymous 1

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I do all but 1 & 6. I'm a SAHM to four and have plenty of time to do their laundry, lunches etc. I make/made my kids lunch up until their very last day of HS and get up and watch them get off to school every morning. No regrets.
Anonymous 2

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No. Unless a kid is special needs I would consider having to do those things as a parenting failure.
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sarah824
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I do not do 1 or 5. EVER

I do 2 everyday and make no excuses for it. I see nothing wrong with making lunch for my kids.

3, 4 and 6 - Depends on the situation and the kid - For example, DS is currently failing a class because he got lazy and failed to turn an essay in on time. I was on his ass about getting it turned in, but I am not emailing the teacher asking about it.
Just-mom
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#1 They set alarms, but I will yell to "GET UP! GET DRESSED!"
#2 They do on their own
#3 I fill out paperwork, I usually have to sign it anyway
#4 Depends on what it is, something dumb no, My son's beret, that got left in the car for a JROTC competition or Cheer Poms, Yes I will go back to take it to them but I am not happy about it.
#5 I wash, dry and fold laundry one day a week, they need to put it away and if they need it done any other time they need to do it by themselves.
#6 Yes, I do meddle in their grades. I work at their school. I look at their grades once a week and make sure the keep up their grades and there is not a crumpled worksheet at the bottom of their backpack that needs to be turned in.
Anonymous 3

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1. Wake them up in the morning for school still a skill im working on with ds. If hes not up and ready by 9 there are consequences but hes autistic and struggleswith executive functioning skills. Dd is 12 and I don't do this for her.
2. Pack their lunches and snacksSometimes I do when we're going places but then sometimes i tell one of them to pack them for everyone too.
When we're home I always make lunch because I like to get creative in usingup leftovers. Usually dd has breakfast made before I get up and each kid makes dinner 1 night a week.

3. Filling out paperwork for them depends on the situation.
When dd was screaming in the back of the ambulance of course I did. Other than that not really.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency) once again depends on the situation. I have forgotten things why would I expect perfectionfrom my children? If its due to laziness though nope.
5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time eh I do theirs sometimes they do mine sometimes so no on this one.
6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work. does this even count when you homeschool? I wouldn'tbe doing a very good job teaching them if i didn't do this. But things aren't allowed to be crazy overdue either.
Deleted User 2088

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I came across this article because of #1. When I was 15 years old, my parents would be gone for work by the time I got up for school. Nevertheless, I got up every day, made my own breakfast, lunch and snacks. No one had to tell me to brush my teeth. No one had to tell me to get to the bus in time. I took care of myself and was very rarely late for school. Our kids aren't at that level yet and I'm sick of it.

2 of our 3 kids get up in the morning with their alarm clock 99% of the time. The middle child, my step son, is so incredibly difficult to wake up in the morning. He seems to think he can't help it. I think it is a learned behavior. Learned helplessness, if you will. I keep encouraging my husband to stop but he is afraid that if we stop, my step son just won't get out of bed and won't make a change unless something drastic happens. He has come a long way since he moved in with us but this is one habit he still hasn't broken.

#6 we still do for my youngest. I am working towards a system where I simply have a homework check each day of the week and if he does not get caught up in school, he'll be grounded or without privileges.

We don't do any of the rest.
Deleted User 2088

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Anonymous 3 wrote: Tue Nov 29, 2022 1:31 pm 1. Wake them up in the morning for school still a skill im working on with ds. If hes not up and ready by 9 there are consequences but hes autistic and struggleswith executive functioning skills. Dd is 12 and I don't do this for her.
2. Pack their lunches and snacksSometimes I do when we're going places but then sometimes i tell one of them to pack them for everyone too.
When we're home I always make lunch because I like to get creative in usingup leftovers. Usually dd has breakfast made before I get up and each kid makes dinner 1 night a week.

3. Filling out paperwork for them depends on the situation.
When dd was screaming in the back of the ambulance of course I did. Other than that not really.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency) once again depends on the situation. I have forgotten things why would I expect perfectionfrom my children? If its due to laziness though nope.
5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time eh I do theirs sometimes they do mine sometimes so no on this one.
6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work. does this even count when you homeschool? I wouldn'tbe doing a very good job teaching them if i didn't do this. But things aren't allowed to be crazy overdue either.
Good point. I guess it depends on whether or not these things are habit. I wouldn't think twice of dropping something off if it happened rarely.
mommy_jules
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I only have 1 teenager who just turned 13 and is also autistic. #s 3 and 4 are really the only ones I do on a regular basis. His executive functioning isn’t the best, so he’s pretty forgetful. If it’s something important, he might have a meltdown. I don’t trust him to fill out paperwork, yet. My DH washes the clothes, and all the children fold it and put away their own clothes. So they participate in the doing of laundry. I’ve never had to meddle in my son’s schoolwork. He does majority of it at school. He also is the first one awake in our house majority of the time.
Traci_Momof2
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Mine are 15 and 18 and I'll put my answers to each down below.
RIZZY_1 wrote: Tue Nov 29, 2022 1:03 pm This is from an article I happened across yesterday about things we should no longer do for our teens:

1. Wake them up in the morning for school
Definitely have not done that since high school. I believe somewhere around jr high is when I stopped doing that. They know how to use an alarm.

2. Pack their lunches and snacks
Basically same answer as #1.

3. Filling out paperwork for them
Depends on what it is. More often it might be filling out paperwork with them, in case they don't know everything required on it.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency)
Depends what it is. If it's something like "I forgot my hat and I really like having my hat" then it's too bad so sad. If it was something truly important then I would go ahead and do it but this so rarely happens as it is that I really don't worry about it.

5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time
They each learned how to do their own laundry around age 10/12 and have been doing their own since.

6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work.
Every few weeks I go on ParentVue to see where they're at and if it's not all at least C's or above then I talk to them about it. Half the time the answer is "I know I'm behind I'm working on catching up". Otherwise I help them develop a plan to get caught up. If anything I tell them to email their teacher themselves as opposed to me emailing the teacher directly. I figure by high school they can deal with the teachers directly, I don't need to.
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