Do you do any of these 6 things for your teenagers?

[Deleted User 1990]

I do all of those except #6.

[carterscutie85]

I don't do any of those things except paperwork but even then that's medical forms. Any other paperwork I wouldn't fill out. I had a Mom who coddled me and did everything on the list. It set me up for failure as an adult.

[highlandmum]

Nope, DS is away for hockey at a billets house, so he is now completely responsible for everything. I do not need to worry about his academics as he has his eye on the prize and knows the program he wants to get into is highly competitive. So as a result, he needs a certain mark to even be looked at. It would be a very long drive to get anything to him that he has forgotten. Only thing he brings home with him is some clothing, and homework. But he has always been pretty responsible when it comes to making sure he has everything.

Only thing we may need to do is fill out paperwork. Since he is still classified as a minor, somethings we will need to take care of.

[WellPreserved]

Both of my kids are adults but when they were teens, I accommodated as follows: Note: My son has ASD.

1. Wake them up in the morning for school
Never had to do this for either.

2. Pack their lunches and snacks
Did for both both but didn't have to.

3. Filling out paperwork for them
DD - no. DS - yes and still do.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency)
Never had to

5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time
Yes for both and still do. I like to do laundry so I trade other responsibilities, lol. Both my kids can do their own when I'm unavailable.

6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work.
For my DD, no. For my son, I had to be engaged in his academics daily to keep him on track but I wouldn't call it "meddling".

[mcginnisc]

1. Wake them up in the morning for school
I only wake up the 14 year old..she sleeps through every single alarm she sets. It drives me up the wall, but on Mondays, I have to get her up because we have to be a co-op by 7:30 am. I need her help setting up the tables and chairs so in order to get there on time, I do wake her up. The other days? I open her door and tell her to get up and do her schoolwork around 9 am.

2. Pack their lunches and snacks
I do on Mondays to help them out. I get up before them so I will usually make the youngest's and if the oldest didn't pack hers the night before I will make hers as well. Other days, if I cook something I will naturally make them and their dad ( works from home) food as well. I'm not just going to cook for myself.

3. Filling out paperwork for them
For the 14 year old? Sure..The only paperwork that has to be done for her is if she goes to the doctor and they give it to me to fill out.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency)
We homeschool so this is not a thing in our world.
5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time
They do their own.
6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work.

Well, we homeschool so I do nag my 14 year old to give me work to grade. I only have myself to blame on this one since I'm her teacher. I call it : Parent- Teacher Conferences. ROFL
As far as Lilly goes? Nooo... She is dual enrolled so 3-4 of her courses are college level. I have zero contact with her professors and that is the way it should be. She handles all correspondence with her professors as well as her 1 online HS course. I see the grades from her HS course, but I do not ever contact her teacher.

[Vegaswife2011]

I will drop things off to them that they forgot, sometimes I do their laundry and I’m involved in their schoolwork. Of course I will wake them if they don’t get up.

[Olioxenfree]

My eldest is 12.5, but I haven't really done any of these for my kids past the age of like seven or eight and have no intention of starting when they are teenagers.
1. Wake them up in the morning for school - As soon as they are old enough to operate an alarm clock, they start getting themselves up, dressed, and downstairs in the morning.
2. Pack their lunches and snacks - On Sundays we work together as a family to make one large main meal and chop up a bunch of vegetables and fruit to be used in lunches for the week. Everyday after school the school aged kids clean out their lunch boxes and repack their lunches for the next day. They can pack a portion of the large main meal or they can make their own salad or wrap with the chopped up produce. I help them in kindergarten and after that they are on their own. We have bins labeled in the fridge with healthy sides, which they can pick two of, and less healthy sides, which they can pick one of to pack.
3. Filling out paperwork for them- If it's something where it's really important that it's done correctly, like government paperwork or something for school, I'll look it over to make sure it's all accurate, but otherwise they fill out their own things.
4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency)- It's situation by situation, everyone can make mistakes so it isn't like I never help them with anything, but for the most part it's their responsibility to learn to be prepared. They get one free pass where I will bring them something they forgot, after that they will just have to go without it and accept the consequences because I'm not dropping what I'm doing to run them things while they make a habit of not paying attention to what they are doing because they are confident mom will fix it for them. One of our family rules is value the time of others. They all bring three dollars of their own money to school everyday, it stays in their backpack, so if they forget their lunch they still can eat but they are paying or it with their own money.
5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time- As soon as they can safely do their own laundry, they're responsible for it. They help me switch loads and push the buttons when they are preschoolers. They help measure the detergent as a math activity. Once they know how to do independently, they do it with supervision. Once they are old enough to fully understand things like not to drink the detergent and can physically push themselves out of the washing machine if they were to fall in, they are fully responsible for it.
6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work. - Academics are very important to us, but they still need to be responsible for their own work. I don't check their homework every night, it is their duty to get it done, but I do periodically check their grades and if I see that they have missing assignments, they have consequences. I expect them to turn in the work, but I'm not standing over their shoulder and I don't expect their teachers to give them credit for late work. They still have to do it without getting credit because I want them to still practice that content.

This might sound like we don't help them much, but we are very involved with our kids and it took a lot more work to make sure they could independently do these skills than it would be to just do it for them. I'm not doing this because I can't be bothered to help them, I do it because I want them to grow into independent young adults who can take care of themselves. When I went off to college I saw so many young adults who didn't know how to do laundry, didn't know how to manage their time, whose grades sank because they didn't know how to manage themselves without someone directing them. I had one classate whose mom would bring him frozen homemade meals every Saturday because he had never learned how to cook anything. I don't want that for my kids. They are capable and giving them these responsibilities does wonders for their confidence.

[Inmybizz]

This is from an article I happened across yesterday about things we should no longer do for our teens:

1. Wake them up in the morning for school-No, she has Alexa

2. Pack their lunches and snacks-Every once in awhile I would pack her lunch & put a cute note inside.

3. Filling out paperwork for them-medical paperwork and scholarship/financial aid.

4. Delivering things they have forgotten, or going out of your way to get something they failed to plan for (in other words, making their failure to plan your emergency). A few times, but not a usual occurrence.

5. Doing all of their laundry all of the time- No, we all do our own laundry so if something gets messed up it’s on you.

6. Meddling in academics, like making sure they turn in a worksheet that is several weeks overdue or emailing their teacher to ask for make up work. Yes, don’t consider it meddling to make sure my kid passes a class.

[KendallsMom]

I do her (15) laundry with mine and dh's because it would be wasteful to have her do hers separately.

I would also do #2 and #6 if necessary.

[KendallsMom]

I do her (15) laundry with mine and dh's because it would be wasteful to have her do hers separately.

I would also do #2, #3 and #6 if necessary.