What to do when you're a mom with germaphobia and emetaphobia

Traci_Momof2
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I came across this and thought it might make for good discussion. Was the mom out of line for asking or for not taking no for an answer? Or should the worker just have complied just to make things easier?

I'll give the basics and include a link for anyone who wants to read the original post.
A 20yo female is a full time worker at a daycare with "younger preschoolers". One day on her off time she was at a huge bbq with some of her friends. One of the daycare parents also happened to be there with some of her friends. She also brought along her child (who attends the daycare) who is still in diapers. At one point the mom approaches the daycare worker and says her child's diaper is dirty and asks if daycare worker will change it for her. At first daycare worker thought it was a joke but mom said "no really, I don't change diapers". Daycare worker said no and mom goes on to explain how she is a germaphobe and an emetaphobe (fear of throwing up) and how each time she's had to change a diaper she's thrown up. She said her husband normally handles all the diapers but he wasn't there. Daycare worker said no again and tried to walk away but mom continued hounding her about how she didn't have any other options. Mom ended the exchange by saying "it's devastating to learn my daughter's favorite teacher has so little empathy". A few minutes later the daycare worker saw the mom putting the child in the car to leave. Daycare worker presumed this was to take the child to wherever dad was to get the child's diaper changed.

https://www.boredpanda.com/entitled-mom ... gn=organic

Part of this discussion is - who was in the wrong and in what way were they wrong? How would you have handled it if you were either of them?

The other part of the discussion is, how does one function as a parent of a little child with such incredible fear of interacting with feces or vomit? From raising two kids of my own, I could share about a dozen stories of gross interactions with feces or vomit from one or the other of my kids. I mean, it's like part of the job description of being a parent. How does one expect to completely avoid it?
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Parents can be so strange about diapers. I was once changing a girls diaper when her dad walked up. He goes "oh you didn't clean her well enough but that's ok it would be inappropriate if you did." I'm thinking I've changed thousands of diapers guy what are you talking about? So I step aside and he uses an entire pack of wipes scrubbing and cleaning this poor girl spotless. He would scrub, smell, then scrubbing some more. It must have taken him 20 minutes to clean her from one dirty diaper! As he's doing this he's telling me how if they were home he would put her in the bath at this point and scrub her just like his older daughter when she gets home from school. He said he's afraid of germs so he scrubs her in really warm water every day after school until her skin is bright red.
It never sat right with me but I was young and really didn't know what to do about it.
Personally I would have just changed the kids diaper because it really isn't a big deal to me at this point but if mom can't do it she needs to make sure she has someone there who can. It's not the daycare workers responsibility to take care of her kid when she's off work.
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Baconqueen13
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Daycare worker was 100% in the right. It was her day off. She wasn't even at a daycare function. It's mom's responsibility to change her own kids diaper when that kid is in mom's care. I don't care if mom was dropping kid off at the daycare. You're there, you change your kid.
I'm also calling bullshit on the mom. Suck it up and deal with it or don't procreate. You chose to have kids, now deal with them.
I've changed diapers that made me throw up from the smell. I've changed diapers when I was sick with the flu and the physical exertion would make me nauseated. Keep a bucket next to you and don't throw up on the kid and you're good.
Pjmm
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I'd told Mom buy a surgical mask, put some vicks in it, and deal. If it's my brother's or my son's baby sure I'll change it. But the daycare teacher is under no obligation. In fact I find it hard to believe someone is really that entitled. If that's you, get a nanny.
mommy_jules
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The mom was wrong here… Not in asking for help, but for shaming/pressuring the daycare worker, who is just another party guest in this situation, to do it. If I was in a similar situation, I probably would have changed the child’s diaper. It’s not a big deal, imo.

To answer you other question, I don’t know. I have my fair share of horror poop and vomit stories. I have one from just like 2 weeks ago when my YDS had the flu. General grossness and germs are inevitable with children, so that is something an individual/couple need to work out beforehand if possible.
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It really is a thing - my daughter's boyfriend has both. I think it was okay for the mom to ask other guests for help but wrong to expect help from a guest simply because they worked at her daycare. It seems as if the parents have worked something out for regular changing but they should have a plan when mom is out with the child alone or mom should just be prepared to leave.
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carterscutie85
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If I felt that way I wouldn't have had kids. I mean God forbid her husband dies tomorrow, then what will she do? If I was the worker I'd have said no too.
Catdaughter20
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Isn't it kind of obvious who's in the wrong?
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Wouldn't she also have trouble wiping her kid's face? Or being around them when they are sick? Diapers are far from the only disgusting thing about little kids. You know what grossed me out the most? When formula would drip all in their little neck folds. I'm shivering just thinking about how nasty that was. I think mom needs to grow up. But the only thing she's really doing "wrong" was the way she treated the daycare worker.
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Some of the comments to that post were insane (i read it on FB). People saying the daycare worker should have "had compassion" for the mother's phobia and should have just changed the diaper. I say Mom needs therapy and needs to just get the f**k over it and actually take care of her child instead of pawning the dirty nappies onto everyone else. Why have kids if you're that freaked out by bodily fluids? And to expect another guest to do it just because they happened to be your child's daycare/preschool teacher? Not only is she entitled, she's a shitty parent.
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