Holy crap..I have a problem..what would you do

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 5:57 pm

I am looking for a roommate. I have a really good situation and nice house with a separate large bedroom and bathroom in its own wing of the house. I had a shitty month at work and the next 2 months don't look great since my goals are so high so I placed an ad to start screening ladies. I can get $650 easily for large room and private en suite bath. I've met 3 women so far....one I liked but she made other arrangements. I need to do some stuff to my house include buy a new fridge and no extra money to do it. I make enough to pay all my bills and get by but could use the extra $650 cash. It is either that or get a second job which is tough with all the crap I have to do in my spare time with my kids.

I met a woman last night through a neighborhood app. A family friend of hers who lives in the neighborhood across the street messages me about a single mom with a 3/almost 4 yr old she has joint custody of just broke up with fiancée and needs a place . I was reluctant at first but she worked full time and will be starting school, they showed last night and we all got along great. Child was with Dad but we made arrangements for her to come over tomorrow night so the kids can meet each other. This woman works early, full time like me. We got along GREAT. She gave me her name and DOB for a background check. She is 34 and is in the medical field.

Long story short, I googled her name (her first name is uncommon) and I came across a shocking article regarding her ex who I believe is the father of said 3 yr old she shares custody of. She was never charged or arrested. It also appears there may be a another old child of there's they do not have custody of based off comments in the 10 year old article and a family court document I found but its not totally complete so I am not for sure.

A part of me wants to text her and call the whole thing off. Another part says I should meet her, have her explain and make sure we have the right person.

At any rate her ex (father of this child if it is the same man) is a felon who has been in prison and I am just uneasy now about this whole thing.

So should I send the text of what I discovered or wait and talk tomorrow?

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:06 pm

trust your gut. I wouldnt go forward with it because it sounds like drama city

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:09 pm

Oh I don't know about this. I mean, having a roommate as an adult with with my children living at home with me doesn't sit right. I'm just not sure I would want a stranger around my kids....maybe tell her what you found and ask her about it.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:17 pm

I have had a roommate before and it lasted 18 months but its been a while. I am very selective, female only, and look for similar lifestyles and of course ladies who like kids.

This HUGE problem has got to follow her around and I am sure she has been asked about it before. I am surprised she stayed with this guy and married him despite the serious accusation. That would be enough for me to end a relationship even if in the end charges were dropped. I do not believe they ever did find out who exactly killed the baby. A lot of fingers point to the parents of the baby as the father had a record and there was DV incident between the 2 and many people believe the child was injured when left with them to babysit but apparently they orig found some evidence to point to her boyfriend.

I hate confrontation and trouble but I am going to have to text her and say that I am just not comfortable proceeding. She seemed like a nice lady who has her act together. She has pay stubs for me to prove employment and school enrollment, but the father of the child seems like kind of a creep

Reedusstalker wrote: ↑Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:09 pm Oh I don't know about this. I mean, having a roommate as an adult with with my children living at home with me doesn't sit right. I'm just not sure I would want a stranger around my kids....maybe tell her what you found and ask her about it.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:18 pm

It was her ex, not her. I wouldn't hold that against her.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:19 pm

I wouldn’t tell her why, just say you’ve found someone else and leave it at that.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:31 pm

I would never have a roommate as a mother. I would get my shit together so that would never have to happen

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:48 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:17 pm I have had a roommate before and it lasted 18 months but its been a while. I am very selective, female only, and look for similar lifestyles and of course ladies who like kids.

This HUGE problem has got to follow her around and I am sure she has been asked about it before. I am surprised she stayed with this guy and married him despite the serious accusation. That would be enough for me to end a relationship even if in the end charges were dropped. I do not believe they ever did find out who exactly killed the baby. A lot of fingers point to the parents of the baby as the father had a record and there was DV incident between the 2 and many people believe the child was injured when left with them to babysit but apparently they orig found some evidence to point to her boyfriend.

I hate confrontation and trouble but I am going to have to text her and say that I am just not comfortable proceeding. She seemed like a nice lady who has her act together. She has pay stubs for me to prove employment and school enrollment, but the father of the child seems like kind of a creep

Reedusstalker wrote: ↑Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:09 pm Oh I don't know about this. I mean, having a roommate as an adult with with my children living at home with me doesn't sit right. I'm just not sure I would want a stranger around my kids....maybe tell her what you found and ask her about it.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 7:26 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:17 pm I have had a roommate before and it lasted 18 months but its been a while. I am very selective, female only, and look for similar lifestyles and of course ladies who like kids.

This HUGE problem has got to follow her around and I am sure she has been asked about it before. I am surprised she stayed with this guy and married him despite the serious accusation. That would be enough for me to end a relationship even if in the end charges were dropped. I do not believe they ever did find out who exactly killed the baby. A lot of fingers point to the parents of the baby as the father had a record and there was DV incident between the 2 and many people believe the child was injured when left with them to babysit but apparently they orig found some evidence to point to her boyfriend.

I hate confrontation and trouble but I am going to have to text her and say that I am just not comfortable proceeding. She seemed like a nice lady who has her act together. She has pay stubs for me to prove employment and school enrollment, but the father of the child seems like kind of a creep

Reedusstalker wrote: ↑Mon Jul 30, 2018 6:09 pm Oh I don't know about this. I mean, having a roommate as an adult with with my children living at home with me doesn't sit right. I'm just not sure I would want a stranger around my kids....maybe tell her what you found and ask her about it.

Wow, you didn't mention a dead baby in the OP.

Anyway, you could ask her questions but you aren't an investigator and she could just bullshit you. I'd say go with your gut. If you pass on her, the worst that happens is that you don't have a room mate. If you take her in, the worst possible scenario is a lot worse.

Unread post Mon Jul 30, 2018 11:59 pm

If you are having second thoughts already, listen to your gut.

I would simply tell her that circumstances have changed and it simply isn’t going to work out.

Holy crap..I have a problem..what would you do

Login • Register