Ungrateful people at Christmas time.

[LuckyEightWow]

It wasn't a Christmas gift but once my son was rude about a toy he received from my mother. It was the last time it happened. We had a lovely come to Jesus meeting about showing gratitude.
But no one has ever done it to me .

Two of my kids did this at the family Xmas party this past weekend. Ugh my eight year old seriously threw herself on the floor sobbing dramatically because she got a simple barbie with no clothing on it. This behaivor is so unlike them I was mortified. At the same time I do understand her feelings because these family members have always treated her cousins better. They buy for all of the kids and get their other cousins something awesome (to a kid) every year and our kids get something simple or way too young for them. There's been years they didn't get our kids anything at all and they had to watch their cousins getting presents and running around playing with them while they got nothing simply because they forgot about them. So I'm sure they feel like they aren't treated the same. We had a long talk in the car about being grateful after her sister threw a fit about her barbie too because it wasn't a computer. Sigh.. The kids never have gotten gifts like that so I don't have any idea why she expected a computer. Thankfully the aunt that buys the gifts didn't see my children's unusual display of bratty behaivor as I quickly removed her from the room to have a chat.

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

[Anonymous 10]

It wasn't a Christmas gift but once my son was rude about a toy he received from my mother. It was the last time it happened. We had a lovely come to Jesus meeting about showing gratitude.
But no one has ever done it to me .

Two of my kids did this at the family Xmas party this past weekend. Ugh my eight year old seriously threw herself on the floor sobbing dramatically because she got a simple barbie with no clothing on it. This behaivor is so unlike them I was mortified. At the same time I do understand her feelings because these family members have always treated her cousins better. They buy for all of the kids and get their other cousins something awesome (to a kid) every year and our kids get something simple or way too young for them. There's been years they didn't get our kids anything at all and they had to watch their cousins getting presents and running around playing with them while they got nothing simply because they forgot about them. So I'm sure they feel like they aren't treated the same. We had a long talk in the car about being grateful after her sister threw a fit about her barbie too because it wasn't a computer. Sigh.. The kids never have gotten gifts like that so I don't have any idea why she expected a computer. Thankfully the aunt that buys the gifts didn't see my children's unusual display of bratty behaivor as I quickly removed her from the room to have a chat.

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

[Traci_Momof2]

Not blatantly ungrateful like you are describing. But my IL's can be rather particular. More than once they have asked for a gift receipt for the gifts we gave them. I think my MIL is trying to be mindful of our money and that if it's something that they won't use, she'd rather our money not go to waste and trade it instead for something they will use. I get what she's trying to do, but it still feels a little insulting none the less.

[That'swhatshesaid]

Two of my kids did this at the family Xmas party this past weekend. Ugh my eight year old seriously threw herself on the floor sobbing dramatically because she got a simple barbie with no clothing on it. This behaivor is so unlike them I was mortified. At the same time I do understand her feelings because these family members have always treated her cousins better. They buy for all of the kids and get their other cousins something awesome (to a kid) every year and our kids get something simple or way too young for them. There's been years they didn't get our kids anything at all and they had to watch their cousins getting presents and running around playing with them while they got nothing simply because they forgot about them. So I'm sure they feel like they aren't treated the same. We had a long talk in the car about being grateful after her sister threw a fit about her barbie too because it wasn't a computer. Sigh.. The kids never have gotten gifts like that so I don't have any idea why she expected a computer. Thankfully the aunt that buys the gifts didn't see my children's unusual display of bratty behaivor as I quickly removed her from the room to have a chat.

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

It's not about the gifts, it's about them treating your kids like shit.

[LuckyEightWow]

Two of my kids did this at the family Xmas party this past weekend. Ugh my eight year old seriously threw herself on the floor sobbing dramatically because she got a simple barbie with no clothing on it. This behaivor is so unlike them I was mortified. At the same time I do understand her feelings because these family members have always treated her cousins better. They buy for all of the kids and get their other cousins something awesome (to a kid) every year and our kids get something simple or way too young for them. There's been years they didn't get our kids anything at all and they had to watch their cousins getting presents and running around playing with them while they got nothing simply because they forgot about them. So I'm sure they feel like they aren't treated the same. We had a long talk in the car about being grateful after her sister threw a fit about her barbie too because it wasn't a computer. Sigh.. The kids never have gotten gifts like that so I don't have any idea why she expected a computer. Thankfully the aunt that buys the gifts didn't see my children's unusual display of bratty behaivor as I quickly removed her from the room to have a chat.

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

I get what you are saying and you’re right it’s not about the gifts but there should be some level of equality, it’s one thing to receive a gift and the person missed the mark, it’s another thing to show blatant favoritism. That’s telling your children it’s okay to be treated as less and that’s not okay.

My MIL always gives one kid more, never the same kid it’s just some years she finds it easier to shop for one and it shows. The thing is, the kids know that they could be the lucky one next year, so every year it’s a game to see who it will be. If one got every single year while the others didn’t, I’d put a stop to it.

[Anonymous 10]

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

It's not about the gifts, it's about them treating your kids like shit.

You are missing the point its not about the gifts its about spending time with family. I don't think my kid is traumatized because she got a barbie instead of a computer she oddly expected.. None of the kids got anything close to a computer. Hell she's not even getting A computer from Santa. We did stop going when they weren't buying for them at all. Now the one that buys the gifts is just clueless what is age appropriate.

I'm not going to tell my husband that he can't see his family because she bought my kid a barbie that she played with yesterday instead of what her cousins got. That would be making it about the gifts. Otherwise they treat them fine I've never seen anyone be mean to them other than the gift thing. So no were not jumping on the cut everyone out of our lives bandwagon that some of you so quickly do. My kids are over it they will be fine.

[That'swhatshesaid]

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

It's not about the gifts, it's about them treating your kids like shit.

You are missing the point its not about the gifts its about spending time with family. I don't think my kid is traumatized because she got a barbie instead of a computer she oddly expected.. None of the kids got anything close to a computer. Hell she's not even getting A computer from Santa. We did stop going when they weren't buying for them at all. Now the one that buys the gifts is just clueless what is age appropriate.

I'm not going to tell my husband that he can't see his family because she bought my kid a barbie that she played with yesterday instead of what her cousins got. That would be making it about the gifts. Otherwise they treat them fine I've never seen anyone be mean to them other than the gift thing. So no were not jumping on the cut everyone out of our lives bandwagon that some of you so quickly do. My kids are over it they will be fine.

Ummm you're the one that said you had stopped going for a few years so I don't know why you're getting so F***ing defensive.

[Anonymous 10]

Why do you keep putting your kids in that situation. It’s one thing to get an off gift here and there and being gracious, it’s another when it happens on a regular. Even the most gracious adult will get fed up.

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

I get what you are saying and you’re right it’s not about the gifts but there should be some level of equality, it’s one thing to receive a gift and the person missed the mark, it’s another thing to show blatant favoritism. That’s telling your children it’s okay to be treated as less and that’s not okay.

My MIL always gives one kid more, never the same kid it’s just some years she finds it easier to shop for one and it shows. The thing is, the kids know that they could be the lucky one next year, so every year it’s a game to see who it will be. If one got every single year while the others didn’t, I’d put a stop to it.

I agree, I know they see it and that's what triggered their behavior. I just can't tell hubby he can't see his family over some gifts. Maybe I'll talk to his dad and see if he can talk to the gift giver about just getting everyone the same thing so there's no hurt feelings.

[That'swhatshesaid]

We did stop going for a few years after a couple years of dealing with this with this with my oldest. Hubby sadly has lost three grandparents and his mother in the last three years so he's been really big on attending these family events to spend time with his dad. This is the third year they have experienced this and the person that bought the gifts has changed since his grandfather passed. I don't know if we will attend next year. I don't want to make it about the gifts you know? If i say we're not going because of that then I'm just showing the kids its ok to be ungrateful for what you got. It's a though situation. I kind of wish they would just skip the gifts and make it about family time.

I get what you are saying and you’re right it’s not about the gifts but there should be some level of equality, it’s one thing to receive a gift and the person missed the mark, it’s another thing to show blatant favoritism. That’s telling your children it’s okay to be treated as less and that’s not okay.

My MIL always gives one kid more, never the same kid it’s just some years she finds it easier to shop for one and it shows. The thing is, the kids know that they could be the lucky one next year, so every year it’s a game to see who it will be. If one got every single year while the others didn’t, I’d put a stop to it.

I agree, I know they see it and that's what triggered their behavior. I just can't tell hubby he can't see his family over some gifts. Maybe I'll talk to his dad and see if he can talk to the gift giver about just getting everyone the same thing so there's no hurt feelings.

That's a good idea. Is it possible that the person giving the gifts is unaware of the problem?

[Anonymous 10]

I get what you are saying and you’re right it’s not about the gifts but there should be some level of equality, it’s one thing to receive a gift and the person missed the mark, it’s another thing to show blatant favoritism. That’s telling your children it’s okay to be treated as less and that’s not okay.

My MIL always gives one kid more, never the same kid it’s just some years she finds it easier to shop for one and it shows. The thing is, the kids know that they could be the lucky one next year, so every year it’s a game to see who it will be. If one got every single year while the others didn’t, I’d put a stop to it.

I agree, I know they see it and that's what triggered their behavior. I just can't tell hubby he can't see his family over some gifts. Maybe I'll talk to his dad and see if he can talk to the gift giver about just getting everyone the same thing so there's no hurt feelings.

That's a good idea. Is it possible that the person giving the gifts is unaware of the problem?

Yeah, his grandfather's wife took over this year buying for the kids at the party. I want to belive this time it was just that she's kinda clueless never had kids of her own. And she sees our kids maybe four times a year so she doesn't know them really well. I was more worried about my kids acting like ungrateful brats. I do understand their feelings but at the same time not acceptable.