Re: SN kiddo's education
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:50 pm
First and foremost, does he have a 504 plan? I want to make sure that you are aware of his legal rights as a child with an LD. I wish I could tell you that there is an easy solution to this, but there's not. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and bucking to advocate for your child. And probably include some harsh sacrifices. Sacrifices you might think you cant make now, but down the road you may have to if it comes down a simple choice. I dont mean to sound bleak, but we have all been there and done that, and it sucks. So in case you havent been there yet, I wouldnt want to lie to you. Where my son is now wasnt by chance or without its hurdles. And we are not done, so we have many more roadblocks to overcome.
First off, don't let the school pursued you that THEY are your childs true advocate. Nope! That is your job and don't let them tell you any different. Sure it would be nice, as parents, not having to worry if the school really has the best interests for your child and that they do know whats best. Truth is, its not often the case. Expect to have this struggle everywhere you go with your son. and probably every year once your child is in middle school. Some teachers are so AWESOME when it comes to your childs needs. They really care and want you child to succeed. Unfortunately, I have ran into some teachers who didnt care to bother themselves. My son's 6th grade year was by far the worst. His math teacher would bury my son in class work and homework, so much that he never had enough time to finish his other homework. Many times I had to stay up late into the night with him, trying to get his work done, so he wouldn't receive a failing grade in math. He would be in tears tired and just wanting to go to sleep but he was too worried about failing math. Eventually, I would have to do some of his other homework for him. No it wasnt technically the right thing for me to do and I wouldnt advise it in any other case, but it wasnt right for him to be put in that spot to begin with. Not after he had made so much progress then started to slowly drop down again and lose interest in learning all over again. Id be damned if we were going to start that whole process over again. The math teacher and I went head to head many times that year. His LA teacher and I both cornered her ( nicely) in the hall one day because the both of us saw what it was doing to my him. As a parent you do what you have to do even if that means breaking a few rules. Your childs future and sanity are whats important. As anyone can tell, my strange efforts didnt hurt him any. And I only did the work that I new he could probably do in his sleep. He's a wiz at science and history. I would just ask him if he knew this and that and he would give me the quick answer like it was nothing. He still had to do the work he was struggling on.
Your child deserves better and nobody has more stake in your childs future than you do. So be ready to FIGHT! Even now, with my son having graduated from the program, I know I still have a long ways to go. I heard high school is the hardest of them all. Knowing that is my focal point to push back and push as hard as I can. I was wanting to get him as ready for high school as I possibly could because believe it or not, by that time kids with LDs will get left behind. I dont know why, but I've been warned by many parents whose kids have been through it as well as his own specialists. So by all means necessary do whatever it takes right now to get him where he needs to be, or as much help as he needs. If that means digging your heals in the ground and demanding they help you figure out a better solution, biting the bullet and sending him to an expensive school, or just moving altogether to a better district then so be it. I dont know what efore they did, that he had it. In kindergarten, I told the teacher, in first grade I told the teacher. I tis a viable option for you, but whatever you can figure out would help you out in the long run.
We actually moved for this purpose. The district my son was in wouldnt even test him for dyslexia. I knew way bold his reading specialist too his first grade year. I got " we are very knowledgeable about the signs of dyslexia and we just dont see it". His reading teacher finally called me the last day of his first grade year to tell me that she thinks he is dyslexic. Then she tried to explain to me what that was, as if I hadn't known about it before. That was my decision to move. We had to move an hour away, to a well to do town that is not very budget friendly to us. We get by but we have made many sacrifices in order to get him the best education we could possibly afford. Which is sad because its a public school, but I digress lol. As it stands, it really has paid off in a much bigger way. Sure we are not able to afford much of the extras many parents would like to be able to afford. We cant afford to put our kids in extracurricular activities. We are living in a crappy house -though its a roof and four walls so it works, and we live as basic as we can. But we know that our end game is in sight and our son , as well as our other children, will have a much better chance here than living in a place where they dont value a childs right to education or they simply cant afford it.
A lot of times it depends on the town/city you live in. I hate to sound bouge, because thats just not me, but I have learned that many of the better options you will find in education are the districts in suburban cities with high taxes. Not in every case but most cases I have seen that in my area. It makes sense because a lot of the tax money goes towards the cost of education in most towns like the one I live in. They can do better in some areas, but at least they have a higher standard and are able to afford better opportunities.
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Thanks for you input & thoughts.
My DS has an IEP, no 504. We do not really need a 504, as in my understanding he is already covered under it & it would just be duplication of the IEP document. We developed the IEP in the 1st grade, review it annually and he is now heading into 3rd grade. We had an emergent IEP meeting at the end of last year, to increase his time in SPED ED classes, so he could really truly only focus on reading more during the day. However, that is a double edged sword as he is in there with other children, who have behavior and other learning issues.
We live in a affluent area, with high property taxes and therefore, good schools. I have heard we are ranked high in the nation, although I haven't really looked that up. But the median income and testing scores are much higher average. I don't think the school is bad, in fact for typical kids, it seems really great. I just don't feel they are equipped to deal with severe dyslexia in a manner that is specialized to my DS. So my options are augment on my own time & my own money or engage in a costly legal battle trying to get an exception, which likely I would lose, and be "that parent" who has 2 other children who would feel that aftermath staying in public school.
I understand your motivation and countless hours you have likely put into you DS. I applaud your efforts. I am taking a different approach. After too many fights & tears, I decided mid-way through 2nd grade, that I was done with battling and doing homework for hours. I tell my DS how vital it is to learn to read. I tell my DS that I believe in him and I think he is capable of doing great things. I tell DS that nearly any time in the evening, night or morning, I am here to help him with learning, all he needs to do is ask. I will even remind him, he should practice and do homework. I set boundaries on play and video time. I will assure he has everything recorded in audio format as back up to learn from...BUT I will not make him, demand he does his homework or do it for him. It's his journey, he must be the one that walks this road, not on my back, but on his own two feet. And I believe in him, he will walk, he will do it, but I do want to make the journey as least difficult for him as possible. If he earns bad grades, he will earn bad grades. But he has to have internal motivation, that's most important for us!
I hope your DS does well in high school. As you have likely read, dyslexia, despite it's struggles, has benefits as well, I am sure those will serve him well.