While I agree that bringing your own wine in a sport bottle is kind of tacky, there's nothing wrong with bringing a whole bottle or a 6 pack to share. In a lot of places, that's considered polite.Traci_Momof2 wrote: ↑Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:11 pm I think the word "offended" is being used too loosely, perhaps even by myself. If I'm hosting and someone brings their own dish for themselves, I'm not necessarily offended but I do see it as rude. Conventional manners say that you don't bring your own thing unless it's to share like a pot luck. But if the host is offering to provide everything then you make do with whatever the host serves. The only exception would be allergies or some other special diet. It's just the manners that I was taught so it's the manners that I live by.
There was one time after my mom and her 3rd husband had been dating for a bit that they wanted to get all their (adult) children together to meet each other. One of his children offered to host. No one was asked to bring anything. So my mom and her then boyfriend, and DH and I and our kids arrive at the same time. As we go inside the house the host is being very welcoming and offering to get us all something to drink. She asks my mom "and what can I get you to drink?" and my mom says "oh no worries I brought my own" while pulling out a sports bottle filled with wine. I was mortified with embarrassment for her behavior. It wasn't like she brought a bottle to share with everyone. She just brought her own wine to drink from for the evening because heaven forbid she potentially have to go without for one evening. It was incredibly rude and selfish of my mom to do that.
Another example - when we lived close to DH's family we would all get together for each of the grandkids birthdays. Naturally the parents would host for whichever kid we were celebrating. We had done this many many times before and DH and I always had beer and wine on hand to offer to his family, even though I don't drink wine and neither of us drink beer. Well one time when we were hosting for one of our kids, one of the families arrived (one of his brother/SIL with their kids) and SIL had brought her own bottle of wine. She offered it up to share with everyone so it wasn't so bad, but it just seemed odd. She had never done this before and we have always had wine to offer. It felt slightly insulting like our wine isn't good enough, and it was a bit rude IMO because that meant after the party we had even more of our own wine leftover that just sits around forever because DH is the only one who drinks it and he doesn't drink it very often. It just begs the question again, she couldn't go one night without her particular kind of wine? It just seems rude and selfish to me.
Now did I lose any sleep over any of this? Did it affect my life detrimentally? No, not beyond the moment of the feelings it conjured. But that doesn't mean it isn't still rude.
It's not uncommon for people to have strong preferences when it comes to drinks (I'm pretty picky about my beer), so I'm never offended if someone brings the drink they prefer, even if I am providing other similar drinks.
