How would you handle this situation?

[Anonymous 1]

[Valentina327]

I think it's a good opportunity to teach the child tolerance. It will also reinforce how to manage your interactions with someone who's different.

It also presents a way to further define "bodily autonomy". Children need to be taught not to be offended and upset by the smallest things. There are some people that may touch your hand or your arm when they talk, etc. Kids need to learn that you can't go off the deep end about minor nuances like that as you get older and interact in the world. It's a good time to define the difference between regular interactions and behavior that crosses a line and should never be tolerated.

[Danesmommy1]

Everyone is entitled to personal space and no one should have to endure an unwanted touch. This isn't politically correct, but IDGAF about the kid's SNs, he'd back off from my kid or he'd get pushed off.

[Anonymous 2]

Yeah that's a tricky one. I understand both sides. But for this situation, I wouldn't even be inviting the whole class to the bday party. I always just had my kids pick a few. Other kids that aren't invited just have to know that they aren't going to be invited to everything and closer friends get invited.

My DD had a special needs boy that would always draw her pictures in 3rd grade. I got a note from his special ed teacher (I thought it was from his mom at first) and it had their phone number on it. So over the summer I contacted the phone number and we ended up meeting at a mcdonald's for a play date. The mom was very appreciative of that. We got together one more time after that at chuckee cheese on their winter break and we exchanged christmas presents with him and my DD. I think that was the last time we did anything like that but 4 yrs later, the boy still really likes my DD and they were at teen night a few weeks ago and he asked a teacher if she knew my DD because he wanted to say hi. The teacher found my DD and they said hi to each other. He is a very sweet boy. But if he would be rough and rude, etc, this would not be the same story.

[That'swhatshesaid]

Am I missing something? I don't see anything in the OP about the kid touching other kids.

[Jskidmore1946]

He wouldnt be invited at all and a very serious situation would be had with my husband.

[Jskidmore1946]

I think it's a good opportunity to teach the child tolerance. It will also reinforce how to manage your interactions with someone who's different.

It also presents a way to further define "bodily autonomy". Children need to be taught not to be offended and upset by the smallest things. There are some people that may touch your hand or your arm when they talk, etc. Kids need to learn that you can't go off the deep end about minor nuances like that as you get older and interact in the world. It's a good time to define the difference between regular interactions and behavior that crosses a line and should never be tolerated.

Telling your parents or anyone else that a person is touching you and making you uncomfortable is NOT going off the deep end.

[mojogirl]

looks like the original post was removed on reddit but deciphering from the comments the autistic child has a serious problem with inappropriate touching. that said, the girl has an absolute right to not want him at her party.

one reply said it best " being safe is more important than being polite"

[Anonymous 3]

1st, I hate those damn acronyms! I always have to go google to see what they mean!

To answer your question...It depends on a lot.

How old are the invitees?
Did everyone else in the class get an invite?

If everyone else got an invite and there was a way to include this child, too, I would include this child and invite 1 of his parents to accompany him.

[CotterpinDoozer]

looks like the original post was removed on reddit but deciphering from the comments the autistic child has a serious problem with inappropriate touching. that said, the girl has an absolute right to not want him at her party.

one reply said it best " being safe is more important than being polite"

Exactly. It does not sound like she's excluding him for being different. She doesn't want him there because he makes her uncomfortable. As an adult, you usually don't invite people you don't like or make you uncomfortable to your events, we need to stop expecting it of children.

Those saying it's a teaching moment, it absolutely is. But not about having to be understanding of someone who makes you uncomfortable because they have SN. It's a teaching moment that you do not have to put anyone's hurt feelings above your comfort.