If your 4 year old is watching Jason and Michael Myers, you're doing it wrong.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

I highly doubt Michael Myers or Jason have anything to do with a child being a brat.

I did not mean to imply causality. Rather, learning that this child is watching these movies is like finding a crucial piece of a puzzle...one that reveals what the picture actually is.

See, I thought Mom was interested in improving his behaviors because she said she was. Actually she seemed really overwhelmed and desperate for help. Over the last month, I provided details of his behaviors, what strategies seemed to work better than others, and did all the good stuff I always do when people ask for help.

But this one...a few weeks in, she started to give excuses when I gave feedback. And then she started with some bribery bullshit, which we both had previously agreed was not something that worked in the past and was not age appropriate being as the kid is in daycare for 8 hours. I'd also see her sometimes give the kid a direction and then provide reinforcement for defiance. ("Come here so Mommy can help you with your jacket" and then playing a laughing, chasing game with him when he'd refuse...stuff like that.)

So at that point I was confused, partly because I was not the first expert she'd asked for advice. She shared with me that much of my initial observations and suggestions were basically what a developmental psychologist had told her.

But then I find out that he's watching these movies??? There is ZERO advantage to exposing a child with terrible behaviors to these movies. (Actually, there's no advantage with any kid. Because while there are dozens of people right here in this post whose kids "turned out just fine," it's the sort of thing where you don't know until you've already done it. And while lots of kids have no ill effects, none gain any benefits from it and a few actually do suffer in a myriad of ways including increased anxiety, trust issues, desensitization to the pain/suffering of others, etc.)

Back to this kid...Now I know...Mom LIKES having a defiant, 8 fingers in his mouth, screeching little PIA. I don't know why. Some people don't want to "tame the wild pony". Some people enjoy playing the martyr. Some people enjoy the attention that comes from various levels of non-conformity.

Point being, if nothing I try with him at daycare is being in any way reinforced at home and if Mom is not the partner I thought she was, then I need to step back and accept that this is out of my hands. I will continue to have appropriate expectations, provide positive reinforcement, and follow through with consequences. But I'm not going to lay awake at night anymore trying to fine-tune my approach. Because now I know.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

It isn't the movies that he watches that are the issue but I am sure you're already aware of that. Sadly the little boy sounds like he is an after thought and really needs his teacher to guide his way. Teachers make the hugest impact in children's lives we just don't always see it until later on. Be that impact on this little boy.

Good pep talk! Thanks : - ) Rest assured, I see no evidence of neglect. And when he's old enough to fully grasp cause and effect, he will most likely learn, gradually, to navigate the differences between behaviors that suit his goals at school and behaviors that work for him with his family.

[Anonymous 14]

I highly doubt Michael Myers or Jason have anything to do with a child being a brat.

I did not mean to imply causality. Rather, learning that this child is watching these movies is like finding a crucial piece of a puzzle...one that reveals what the picture actually is.

See, I thought Mom was interested in improving his behaviors because she said she was. Actually she seemed really overwhelmed and desperate for help. Over the last month, I provided details of his behaviors, what strategies seemed to work better than others, and did all the good stuff I always do when people ask for help.

But this one...a few weeks in, she started to give excuses when I gave feedback. And then she started with some bribery bullshit, which we both had previously agreed was not something that worked in the past and was not age appropriate being as the kid is in daycare for 8 hours. I'd also see her sometimes give the kid a direction and then provide reinforcement for defiance. ("Come here so Mommy can help you with your jacket" and then playing a laughing, chasing game with him when he'd refuse...stuff like that.)

So at that point I was confused, partly because I was not the first expert she'd asked for advice. She shared with me that much of my initial observations and suggestions were basically what a developmental psychologist had told her.

But then I find out that he's watching these movies??? There is ZERO advantage to exposing a child with terrible behaviors to these movies. (Actually, there's no advantage with any kid. Because while there are dozens of people right here in this post whose kids "turned out just fine," it's the sort of thing where you don't know until you've already done it. And while lots of kids have no ill effects, none gain any benefits from it and a few actually do suffer in a myriad of ways including increased anxiety, trust issues, desensitization to the pain/suffering of others, etc.)

Back to this kid...Now I know...Mom LIKES having a defiant, 8 fingers in his mouth, screeching little PIA. I don't know why. Some people don't want to "tame the wild pony". Some people enjoy playing the martyr. Some people enjoy the attention that comes from various levels of non-conformity.

Point being, if nothing I try with him at daycare is being in any way reinforced at home and if Mom is not the partner I thought she was, then I need to step back and accept that this is out of my hands. I will continue to have appropriate expectations, provide positive reinforcement, and follow through with consequences. But I'm not going to lay awake at night anymore trying to fine-tune my approach. Because now I know.

Wait, your a babysitter at a daycare calling yourself an expert? Exactly what makes you an expert to tell her how to raise her kid?

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

I highly doubt Michael Myers or Jason have anything to do with a child being a brat.

I did not mean to imply causality. Rather, learning that this child is watching these movies is like finding a crucial piece of a puzzle...one that reveals what the picture actually is.

See, I thought Mom was interested in improving his behaviors because she said she was. Actually she seemed really overwhelmed and desperate for help. Over the last month, I provided details of his behaviors, what strategies seemed to work better than others, and did all the good stuff I always do when people ask for help.

But this one...a few weeks in, she started to give excuses when I gave feedback. And then she started with some bribery bullshit, which we both had previously agreed was not something that worked in the past and was not age appropriate being as the kid is in daycare for 8 hours. I'd also see her sometimes give the kid a direction and then provide reinforcement for defiance. ("Come here so Mommy can help you with your jacket" and then playing a laughing, chasing game with him when he'd refuse...stuff like that.)

So at that point I was confused, partly because I was not the first expert she'd asked for advice. She shared with me that much of my initial observations and suggestions were basically what a developmental psychologist had told her.

But then I find out that he's watching these movies??? There is ZERO advantage to exposing a child with terrible behaviors to these movies. (Actually, there's no advantage with any kid. Because while there are dozens of people right here in this post whose kids "turned out just fine," it's the sort of thing where you don't know until you've already done it. And while lots of kids have no ill effects, none gain any benefits from it and a few actually do suffer in a myriad of ways including increased anxiety, trust issues, desensitization to the pain/suffering of others, etc.)

Back to this kid...Now I know...Mom LIKES having a defiant, 8 fingers in his mouth, screeching little PIA. I don't know why. Some people don't want to "tame the wild pony". Some people enjoy playing the martyr. Some people enjoy the attention that comes from various levels of non-conformity.

Point being, if nothing I try with him at daycare is being in any way reinforced at home and if Mom is not the partner I thought she was, then I need to step back and accept that this is out of my hands. I will continue to have appropriate expectations, provide positive reinforcement, and follow through with consequences. But I'm not going to lay awake at night anymore trying to fine-tune my approach. Because now I know.

Wait, your a babysitter at a daycare calling yourself an expert? Exactly what makes you an expert to tell her how to raise her kid?

My degree is in Elem Ed N, K, and grades 1-6. I taught 2-5 year olds for 15 years at a church based school...not a daycare. I call myself an expert because other experts who have visited my classroom over the years...psychologists, special ed interventionists, speech and occupational therapists, behaviorists, local public school administrators...have acknowledged me as such, both to me directly and to my director.

I moved on from that school this year into a NYC daycare setting as part of making the move to the city's UPK and 3K program. I turned down a higher paying UPK position in favor of this lower paying daycare position because this job is in a fantastic neighborhood with free parking. Director expects me to fill a UPK vacancy in this school Sept of next year.

[Anonymous 15]

I did not mean to imply causality. Rather, learning that this child is watching these movies is like finding a crucial piece of a puzzle...one that reveals what the picture actually is.

See, I thought Mom was interested in improving his behaviors because she said she was. Actually she seemed really overwhelmed and desperate for help. Over the last month, I provided details of his behaviors, what strategies seemed to work better than others, and did all the good stuff I always do when people ask for help.

But this one...a few weeks in, she started to give excuses when I gave feedback. And then she started with some bribery bullshit, which we both had previously agreed was not something that worked in the past and was not age appropriate being as the kid is in daycare for 8 hours. I'd also see her sometimes give the kid a direction and then provide reinforcement for defiance. ("Come here so Mommy can help you with your jacket" and then playing a laughing, chasing game with him when he'd refuse...stuff like that.)

So at that point I was confused, partly because I was not the first expert she'd asked for advice. She shared with me that much of my initial observations and suggestions were basically what a developmental psychologist had told her.

But then I find out that he's watching these movies??? There is ZERO advantage to exposing a child with terrible behaviors to these movies. (Actually, there's no advantage with any kid. Because while there are dozens of people right here in this post whose kids "turned out just fine," it's the sort of thing where you don't know until you've already done it. And while lots of kids have no ill effects, none gain any benefits from it and a few actually do suffer in a myriad of ways including increased anxiety, trust issues, desensitization to the pain/suffering of others, etc.)

Back to this kid...Now I know...Mom LIKES having a defiant, 8 fingers in his mouth, screeching little PIA. I don't know why. Some people don't want to "tame the wild pony". Some people enjoy playing the martyr. Some people enjoy the attention that comes from various levels of non-conformity.

Point being, if nothing I try with him at daycare is being in any way reinforced at home and if Mom is not the partner I thought she was, then I need to step back and accept that this is out of my hands. I will continue to have appropriate expectations, provide positive reinforcement, and follow through with consequences. But I'm not going to lay awake at night anymore trying to fine-tune my approach. Because now I know.

Wait, your a babysitter at a daycare calling yourself an expert? Exactly what makes you an expert to tell her how to raise her kid?

My degree is in Elem Ed N, K, and grades 1-6. I taught 2-5 year olds for 15 years at a church based school...not a daycare. I call myself an expert because other experts who have visited my classroom over the years...psychologists, special ed interventionists, speech and occupational therapists, behaviorists, local public school administrators...have acknowledged me as such, both to me directly and to my director.

I moved on from that school this year into a NYC daycare setting as part of making the move to the city's UPK and 3K program. I turned down a higher paying UPK position in favor of this lower paying daycare position because this job is in a fantastic neighborhood with free parking. Director expects me to fill a UPK vacancy in this school Sept of next year.

There is no such thing as an expert in child development. Its all self given titles by people who want to sound important. You cant be an expert on something so vast and complex as the human psyche and what makes people tick, especially when it comes to the development of a child's brain and personality. To call yourself an expert where this subject is concerned is a joke.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Wait, your a babysitter at a daycare calling yourself an expert? Exactly what makes you an expert to tell her how to raise her kid?

My degree is in Elem Ed N, K, and grades 1-6. I taught 2-5 year olds for 15 years at a church based school...not a daycare. I call myself an expert because other experts who have visited my classroom over the years...psychologists, special ed interventionists, speech and occupational therapists, behaviorists, local public school administrators...have acknowledged me as such, both to me directly and to my director.

I moved on from that school this year into a NYC daycare setting as part of making the move to the city's UPK and 3K program. I turned down a higher paying UPK position in favor of this lower paying daycare position because this job is in a fantastic neighborhood with free parking. Director expects me to fill a UPK vacancy in this school Sept of next year.

There is no such thing as an expert in child development. Its all self given titles by people who want to sound important. You cant be an expert on something so vast and complex as the human psyche and what makes people tick, especially when it comes to the development of a child's brain and personality. To call yourself an expert where this subject is concerned is a joke.

Okay. Fair point. Can we agree that I'm not a novice? Maybe put a little "1,000 kids and counting" ticker under my name...like the McDonalds sign used to have?

And while I think it's fair to call me out on using the word "expert," I didn't make any grand declarations. What I said was "I'm not the first expert she's asked." I can't think of a better way to say it. Maybe "professional?"

[Gelatng30]

Well my son started watching Full Metal Jacket when he was 3 years old . Guess what he was a great kid in school and straight A student and now he is a US MARINE!! It’s not about what they watch but how you raise them!!

[Anonymous 5]

My 2 year old granddaughter watches Halloween with us tonight

[KendallsMom]

My dd (12) and I just watched Halloween (2018) together. It was her first R rated movie. I was all geeked, thinking it was going to be a memorable experience for us both.

She laughed through it and picked it apart.

I think I waited too late...lol.