I am not paying BM child support

[wildflowers25]

You married a winner if he would rather have you pay his CS than pay it with his savings.

[Anonymous 1]

You married a winner if he would rather have you pay his CS than pay it with his savings.

He doesnt like dipping into savings. I understand that to an extent. I dont want him to touch it for anything else but I am absolutely not paying child support.

[stilltfez]

1-yes he should file a modification in court if his circumstances have changed drastically.

2- Stop being a BM detective. You have no idea what she is spending the support on.

I know she doesn't buy things for the kids and that she doesn't pay bills. She has bragged about what the money has gone to. Buying a motorcycle (which the kids don't use), vacations the kids don't go on, her hair nails and make up.

She has bragged directly to your husband that she uses child support to buy motorcycles?
There is a process he could go through to modify support based on circumstances, he should do that.

[madfoodie]

He should have it modified. It sounds like even if he gets a new a job he won't make as much.
He can't dip into savings forever.

[Anonymous 3]

DH lost his job a few months back. I have taken over paying all of our household bills. He is actively looking for a job and has had several interviews and a few second interviews. He is over qualified for most of the jobs and people are seeming to have a problem with that. There are no jobs at the level he has been working at for years just below.

The one thing I won't pay for is child support. I think it is BS that it has to be paid in the first place and BM doesn't use it towards the kids anyway. They have equal custody. It is more than what DH is getting in unemployment and he has had to use some of his savings. He doesn't want to do that and just wants me to pay. I told him no. That he can at least figure out a way to pay this one thing. I'm not going to give my hard earned money to BM for her to spend on herself. DH should honestly take it to court and get it dropped if he can especially because his unemployment is a lot less than what he was making.

Your idiot dh needs to file for a modification, if he can't or wont then the cs needs to be paid somehow.
You dont get to decide what BM should or shouldnt receive, thats none of your business. A judge decided or approved of the cs amount to be paid. DH's sloppy seconds wife has no say at all

[Anonymous 4]

I don't care where he gets the money from. But until his CS has been modified, he needs to pay the expected amount.

And how this mother spends her CS is none of anyone's business.

[Fullxbusymom]

Her boyfriend pays all the bills. She brags about it all the time. She doesn't even buy the kids clothes or hair cuts or anything like that.

She's probably not putting all of the money into the bank. If they live together, it is all considered household money.
The court doesn't ask for a record of what child support is spent on, he shouldn't just not pay for his children, because you view one parent as not doing their part. Then where would the kids be?

I know the court doesn't ask what it is spent on but they should to at least make sure the money is going towards the kids. He is still paying it. If he stopped paying child support the kids would have the same life because we would still be paying for everything for them anyway.

That isn't how it works. It is for anything needed rent, electric, gas in the car, car payment, activities, food, etc. That is all a benefit to the child.

[Anonymous 5]

She's probably not putting all of the money into the bank. If they live together, it is all considered household money.
The court doesn't ask for a record of what child support is spent on, he shouldn't just not pay for his children, because you view one parent as not doing their part. Then where would the kids be?

I know the court doesn't ask what it is spent on but they should to at least make sure the money is going towards the kids. He is still paying it. If he stopped paying child support the kids would have the same life because we would still be paying for everything for them anyway.

That isn't how it works. It is for anything needed rent, electric, gas in the car, car payment, activities, food, etc. That is all a benefit to the child.

I agree in most cases but on situation where they have 50/50 she should be paying that herself. . He does.

[Fullxbusymom]

I know the court doesn't ask what it is spent on but they should to at least make sure the money is going towards the kids. He is still paying it. If he stopped paying child support the kids would have the same life because we would still be paying for everything for them anyway.

That isn't how it works. It is for anything needed rent, electric, gas in the car, car payment, activities, food, etc. That is all a benefit to the child.

I agree in most cases but on situation where they have 50/50 she should be paying that herself. . He does.

Not if his income is significantly higher and the kids would have to change their way of life.

Yes, you can still request child support if you share 50/50 custody. In cases where parents have a disparity in income, the court may order child support. Where one parent makes more than the other, the court may believe it's not fair to the children to rely on the lower-earning parent's income alone while in their care.


In most cases of joint custody, the court calculates child support as if each parent has primary custody. They determine what each parent would pay if they were the paying parent.


Then, the court offsets the lower amount against the higher. For example, if the first parent would pay $1,000 and the second parent would pay $600, the court offsets and orders the higher-earning parent to pay the difference or $400. Each case depends on the incomes of the paying parents.

[Anonymous 5]

That isn't how it works. It is for anything needed rent, electric, gas in the car, car payment, activities, food, etc. That is all a benefit to the child.

I agree in most cases but on situation where they have 50/50 she should be paying that herself. . He does.

Not if his income is significantly higher and the kids would have to change their way of life.

Yes, you can still request child support if you share 50/50 custody. In cases where parents have a disparity in income, the court may order child support. Where one parent makes more than the other, the court may believe it's not fair to the children to rely on the lower-earning parent's income alone while in their care.


In most cases of joint custody, the court calculates child support as if each parent has primary custody. They determine what each parent would pay if they were the paying parent.


Then, the court offsets the lower amount against the higher. For example, if the first parent would pay $1,000 and the second parent would pay $600, the court offsets and orders the higher-earning parent to pay the difference or $400. Each case depends on the incomes of the paying parents.

I know the courts do it but I do not think any parent should pay child support in a 50/50 situation. It isn't one patents job to support the child more . When they share custody. You want more money get a better job dont expect your ex to take care of your part .. any parents who ask for child support in a 50/50 situation is a greedy bitch