Would you contact the school?

[Anonymous 5]

I wouldn't contact the school. I would just continue to work with my child on coping skills. I feel it goes a lot further, since we won't always be there to step in.

[EarlGrayHot]

Of course! That needs to stop and NOW.

[Deleted User 638]

Yes I would have been in the principal's office last year, kicking ass and taking names. That kid has been dealing with bullying since last year. What are you waiting for? Go to the school and demand that the principal put a stop to it now since the teachers obviously aren't doing it. It is the principal's job to provide a hostile free environment and once s/he has been notified and does nothing, is violating Title IX of the civil rights act. Tell the principal that you expect those punks to be reprimanded and if it doesn't stop, suspended and expelled if necessary. Bullying is bullying and should not be tolerated.

I didn't know it was happening last year. DS keeps things to himself until he just explodes (not the best of traits) I am happy he at least told me now that it was happening before it turned into a fight or something.

The verbal bullying is escalating. There's a very good chance it will become physical if they're not stopped.

[madfoodie]

If he's reporting g it and nothing done then the principle is next.

[Valentina327]

Time to teach him to toughen up and work out some witty come backs. I don't think them being critical of his hair is a reason to run to school. He's almost a teen. This is a good place for him to learn too that you're free to do as you want, but actions have consequences. The unintended consequences of him insisting on long hair is hearing about it from his peers.

If they were beating him then yes step in by all means. He needs to learn now that words don't bruise you and that people will comment and be critical of your choices in life.

Bullying with words is as damaging as bullying with fists. Many of the bullied teens who killed themselves were not touched physically.

So no, this isn't going to be a learning experience for him. It's not time for him to toughen up. It's time for a parent to step in and make sure the school does what it's supposed to do. It's time for the bullies to learn their words have consequences.






ETA: I clicked anon by mistake. This is AnnieArk.

Hey Annie -
I think we're a little too liberal about what constitutes bullying these days. This sounds more like simple mocking - kids just being rotten as they've always been. Kids are mean, and they'll look for a reason to make fun of anyone. My opinion is that everyone is far too dramatic now.

We've all been made fun of in school. It prepares us for adulthood, when we're forced to deal with people we don't like or who don't like us. It's part of learning to cope. It sucks at the time, but it helps form strategies of how to deal.

If they were cornering him in a group and screaming in his face, if they were pantsing him in the hall over it, if he was scared to go to school, that would be bullying. That's something I'd definitely be marching to school over immediately. I didn't get the impression from the OP that anything like that was happening though.

The way you combat a bully is by growing a thicker skin and getting quick with the return insults. That shuts bullies down. They do it to get a rise. Take away the reaction, you take away the bully. So either way - just rotten kids or true bullies - the antidote is the same.

[hsvettelater]

Time to teach him to toughen up and work out some witty come backs. I don't think them being critical of his hair is a reason to run to school. He's almost a teen. This is a good place for him to learn too that you're free to do as you want, but actions have consequences. The unintended consequences of him insisting on long hair is hearing about it from his peers.

If they were beating him then yes step in by all means. He needs to learn now that words don't bruise you and that people will comment and be critical of your choices in life.

Bullying with words is as damaging as bullying with fists. Many of the bullied teens who killed themselves were not touched physically.

So no, this isn't going to be a learning experience for him. It's not time for him to toughen up. It's time for a parent to step in and make sure the school does what it's supposed to do. It's time for the bullies to learn their words have consequences.

I agree; negative words can have long-lasting effects just like being beaten up. I find it very sad for the kids that people don't get that. The majority of kids simply aren't equipped mentally and emotionally to combat or deal with bullying. I mean, their brains aren't even fully developed until like age 24. Some kids are more resilient than others; other kids are much more sensitive.






ETA: I clicked anon by mistake. This is AnnieArk.

[Fullxbusymom]

I would contact the school but I will be honest do not expect anything to necessarily change. Teachers can't stop or witness ever instance of picking on him. I would make them aware though so they can keep a better eye out.

[Deleted User 638]

Time to teach him to toughen up and work out some witty come backs. I don't think them being critical of his hair is a reason to run to school. He's almost a teen. This is a good place for him to learn too that you're free to do as you want, but actions have consequences. The unintended consequences of him insisting on long hair is hearing about it from his peers.

If they were beating him then yes step in by all means. He needs to learn now that words don't bruise you and that people will comment and be critical of your choices in life.

Bullying with words is as damaging as bullying with fists. Many of the bullied teens who killed themselves were not touched physically.

So no, this isn't going to be a learning experience for him. It's not time for him to toughen up. It's time for a parent to step in and make sure the school does what it's supposed to do. It's time for the bullies to learn their words have consequences.






ETA: I clicked anon by mistake. This is AnnieArk.

Hey Annie -
I think we're a little too liberal about what constitutes bullying these days. This sounds more like simple mocking - kids just being rotten as they've always been. Kids are mean, and they'll look for a reason to make fun of anyone. My opinion is that everyone is far too dramatic now.

We've all been made fun of in school. It prepares us for adulthood, when we're forced to deal with people we don't like or who don't like us. It's part of learning to cope. It sucks at the time, but it helps form strategies of how to deal.

If they were cornering him in a group and screaming in his face, if they were pantsing him in the hall over it, if he was scared to go to school, that would be bullying. That's something I'd definitely be marching to school over immediately. I didn't get the impression from the OP that anything like that was happening though.

The way you combat a bully is by growing a thicker skin and getting quick with the return insults. That shuts bullies down. They do it to get a rise. Take away the reaction, you take away the bully. So either way - just rotten kids or true bullies - the antidote is the same.

No, ignoring them doesn't shut bullies down. They often escalate in an attempt to get that reaction. Constant mocking IS bullying. It is harassment. It's not okay. It's not kids being kids. It's unacceptable. It causes emotional damage that can be lifelong.

Instead of telling kids to toughen up, we need to teach bullies that it's not acceptable and will not be tolerated. That's preparation for the adult world. Adults who bully coworkers are fired. Many adult bullies are sitting in prison.

[Valentina327]

Bullying with words is as damaging as bullying with fists. Many of the bullied teens who killed themselves were not touched physically.

So no, this isn't going to be a learning experience for him. It's not time for him to toughen up. It's time for a parent to step in and make sure the school does what it's supposed to do. It's time for the bullies to learn their words have consequences.






ETA: I clicked anon by mistake. This is AnnieArk.

Hey Annie -
I think we're a little too liberal about what constitutes bullying these days. This sounds more like simple mocking - kids just being rotten as they've always been. Kids are mean, and they'll look for a reason to make fun of anyone. My opinion is that everyone is far too dramatic now.

We've all been made fun of in school. It prepares us for adulthood, when we're forced to deal with people we don't like or who don't like us. It's part of learning to cope. It sucks at the time, but it helps form strategies of how to deal.

If they were cornering him in a group and screaming in his face, if they were pantsing him in the hall over it, if he was scared to go to school, that would be bullying. That's something I'd definitely be marching to school over immediately. I didn't get the impression from the OP that anything like that was happening though.

The way you combat a bully is by growing a thicker skin and getting quick with the return insults. That shuts bullies down. They do it to get a rise. Take away the reaction, you take away the bully. So either way - just rotten kids or true bullies - the antidote is the same.

No, ignoring them doesn't shut bullies down. They often escalate in an attempt to get that reaction. Constant mocking IS bullying. It is harassment. It's not okay. It's not kids being kids. It's unacceptable. It causes emotional damage that can be lifelong.

Instead of telling kids to toughen up, we need to teach bullies that it's not acceptable and will not be tolerated. That's preparation for the adult world. Adults who bully coworkers are fired. Many adult bullies are sitting in prison.

I agree with you 1000%. There are plenty of times that you meet a kids parents and you know exactly why they are a bully and why it goes unchecked. Big asswipes raise little asswipes Teaching children not to be bullies is supposed to happen at home. Not every parent is responsible.

Unfortunately, we can't crawl into people's homes and force them to teach their children not to be jerks. If only we could, this would be a much different world.

What we do have jurisdiction over, however, are the things that happen in our own little pod. Kids need to be taught self confidence, to stand up for themselves, and not take crap from others. They need to be taught how to manage the bullies of the world.

We run into those types of people all of our lives unfortunately.

[Traci_Momof2]

Well, according to my 12yo and 14yo, kids say shit like this all the time every day at school. To a certain extent we have to teach our kids to have thick skin and hold their heads high in the face of this type of criticism. The administration can't be held responsible for every single thing that one child says to another on campus. It's unrealistic.

However, in your case where your child has been singled out long term over one specific trait I would be very tempted to bring it up and see what they say. I'm not a fan of going in guns-a-blazin. I prefer saving that for when I don't get the results I want. Just go in and talk about it and see what kind of response you get. Go from there.