What is wrong with her?!?

[Traci_Momof2]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

Perhaps the persons she was before was the person she thought she had to be to make everyone else happy. Now she's making herself happy and being her real, true self without any fucks given.

This right here. This is exactly what I was thinking.

OP - Perhaps your friend was more unhappy in her old life and old ways than she ever let on to anyone. Perhaps this is her embracing who she really wants to be. Or perhaps this is just her exploring and finding herself. Nothing wrong with any of that. But she obviously wasn't happy sticking to her original "plan" or her old ways of living, so why should she continue to do so just to make the rest of you happy?

[Traci_Momof2]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

People change, and they grow. What she once believed aren't her beliefs anymore. She's allowed to think differently. Let her live her life. I don't buy the "I'm worried about her" bs. Sounds more like you want to judge her, and stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

If she didn't want me to know she wouldn't have told me about it. Yes I am worried about her, sure beliefs change but honestly how many people go from being super conservative in their beliefs about S*x to having a friend's with benefits and another guy she goes out with regularly?

Was she raised with super conservative beliefs? Perhaps she lived it for so long because she felt she was supposed to be that way. And now she's finally coming to her senses and realizing she is allowed to live however she wants to. It happens, probably more often than you realize.

[Anonymous 1]

People change, and they grow. What she once believed aren't her beliefs anymore. She's allowed to think differently. Let her live her life. I don't buy the "I'm worried about her" bs. Sounds more like you want to judge her, and stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

If she didn't want me to know she wouldn't have told me about it. Yes I am worried about her, sure beliefs change but honestly how many people go from being super conservative in their beliefs about S*x to having a friend's with benefits and another guy she goes out with regularly?

Was she raised with super conservative beliefs? Perhaps she lived it for so long because she felt she was supposed to be that way. And now she's finally coming to her senses and realizing she is allowed to live however she wants to. It happens, probably more often than you realize.

She was raised Catholic, but not strict catholic. Her brothers ran wild, her parents are divorced. She was just the way she was, very conservative, heck even now she still dresses very, very modestly. Long skirts, dresses, nice tops never shows cleavage or even her shoulders. (No t-shirts and jeans and NO SHORTS EVER), very little makeup if she does wear any. Her look hasn't changed, just her behaviors.

[Pjmm]

To respond to everyone, since no body thinks anything is wrong with the situation.

I have known her for over 20 years, this just isn't like her at all. She was always the one that believed strongly in monogamist relationships, no S*x before marriage. She has always had male friends but never went "out" with them alone, always in a group.

After her divorce, she said she was just going to focus on the kids until they were 18 THEN she might look for someone romantically. Well all of a sudden she has this situation going on.

As for her kids, she goes and does what she wants (2 of them are older teens, one is 12) she will leave them home alone for a few hours and she will take the 12 yo to stay with her mom/dad.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a great mom and makes sure the kids have all their needs met. They have a clean house, food in the kitchen, they are always on the go with their sports/clubs (which she pays for all on her own, since their dad refuses to work or help with anything)

It's just that over the last 6 months or so my friend has changed so much, I worry about her. She up and left a job of 15 years for another. She had never even mentioned to ANYONE that she wasn't happy at her old job, and then BAM. New job in a totally different field, of work. Then she is seeing 2 different guys when she never believed in that. I am just worried about her.

Idk your friend but to speak from my perspective I've been in my field going on thirty years. I enjoy it but I've thought of a change. So I started writing although I still work in my field. It's not abnormal to want to do other things. Burn out is real. It's not abnormal to say "you know what these last 18 years, or twelve years or whatever I've done for these kids and everyone else. Now by God it's time to do for me. And while I'm at it being married like I was supposed to be didn't work out. Being a goody goody got me nowhere so f**k it now I want some fun." Unless she's picking up guys from Tinder or the local bar i wouldn't worry. She's going about this safely it appears.

[Anonymous 4]

Nothing is wrong with her. Mind your own business, and spend less time judging others.

[Anonymous 5]

Did you ever think that she spent years living her life as others expected her to & now she's finally decided to live it the way she wants to? Maybe her children are old enough that she can finally start focusing on what she wants from life instead of everything being about someone else. Lots of people get burned out in long term jobs & decide they need a change. Again, not your place to decide it's wrong because it's different.

That's not a bad thing. You not liking it doesn't really matter. You have no right to judge her for living her life the way she wants to just because it's different than it was or what you would do.

[Nopeville]

If she didn't want me to know she wouldn't have told me about it. Yes I am worried about her, sure beliefs change but honestly how many people go from being super conservative in their beliefs about S*x to having a friend's with benefits and another guy she goes out with regularly?

Was she raised with super conservative beliefs? Perhaps she lived it for so long because she felt she was supposed to be that way. And now she's finally coming to her senses and realizing she is allowed to live however she wants to. It happens, probably more often than you realize.

She was raised Catholic, but not strict catholic. Her brothers ran wild, her parents are divorced. She was just the way she was, very conservative, heck even now she still dresses very, very modestly. Long skirts, dresses, nice tops never shows cleavage or even her shoulders. (No t-shirts and jeans and NO SHORTS EVER), very little makeup if she does wear any. Her look hasn't changed, just her behaviors.

You understand that how people dress doesn't necessarily coincide with their behavior, right? You can dress super provocatively, all cleavage and bootie shorts and still be a virgin.

[madfoodie]

Nothing's wrong with it. It's not something I'd do but it makes her happy.

[agander2017]

The first guy is a friend. There is nothing wrong with that. As for the second guy, not your business what she does with her body.

You need a hobby that doesn't include your friend's S*x life.

[EmilyH87]

I don't see what the big deal is. She's got a casual relationship deal going on with one. Lots of people do it. The guy from work? That's... Literally just them being friends. They hang out. There isn't any S*x. How is that any different from her doing the same thing with a female friend?