The gender pay gap.

[Traci_Momof2]

I found a series on Netflix last night called "Explained". Each episode takes a different topic and dives into it to explain it in more detail. One was about the gender pay gap, that apparently women get paid less for doing the same job as men.

But is it really a sexism thing or is it something else? They talked about how even in modern American society, even in dual income homes, the mother is often the primary caregiver to the children and therefore her career doesn't advance as fast as her male counterparts. That if you take two law students for example, one male one female, and they start out on equal ground, they may start to advance equally. But then when she has a baby, she is missing time for sick kids, school meetings, doctor appointments, etc and therefore she is not promoting up through the levels. Whereas her male counterpart is advancing and promoting at a much faster rate, even when he has children at home because he has his own wife that is taking on those duties.
They also showed that when you look at the stats and see the pay gap between the sexes, if you then take out the working moms and only look at childless women vs men in the workforce, the gap narrows significantly and is almost non-existant.

So it's not really a sexism thing but rather a motherhood thing and the way our society defines a mother's role vs. a father's role. And that some might want to see it as a motherhood penalty, but is it really a penalty? Because when she is with her children she is still doing valuable work that benefits society overall, and maybe taking a slight hit to her career for it is actually worth it and still a good thing.
And in the meantime, if we continue the slight trend that we are starting to see now - ie. more SAHD's, more paternity leave for dads, more dad's taking time off for those sick kids and school meetings, then we will see that gender pay gap start to close.

People want to see the pay gap as some atrocious sexism thing, but I agree with the show that it has very little to do with sexism and that it is mostly about our societal expectations of parental roles.

What say you?

[MonarchMom]

I say we have more realistic expectations that parents will need to take time off, and stop penalizing parents - male or female - for taking care of their families.

[Traci_Momof2]

I say we have more realistic expectations that parents will need to take time off, and stop penalizing parents - male or female - for taking care of their families.

But shouldn't employers also be able to reward their employees who do a good job? If a manager is doing reviews of two employees doing basically the same work, and they both get the job done and overall do great, but maybe she missed a deadline somewhere and missed an important meeting another time due to kid issues whereas he didn't miss anything. He proved more reliable so shouldn't he get a slightly higher raise than her? Or are you saying she should still make as much as him because "family" should be an acceptable excuse for blunders?

[MonarchMom]

I say we have more realistic expectations that parents will need to take time off, and stop penalizing parents - male or female - for taking care of their families.

But shouldn't employers also be able to reward their employees who do a good job? If a manager is doing reviews of two employees doing basically the same work, and they both get the job done and overall do great, but maybe she missed a deadline somewhere and missed an important meeting another time due to kid issues whereas he didn't miss anything. He proved more reliable so shouldn't he get a slightly higher raise than her? Or are you saying she should still make as much as him because "family" should be an acceptable excuse for blunders?

Who is talking about blunders? I think the workplace should be more flexible, letting people work from home more, or taking personal time, and not penalizing someone for parental leave. If a guy has a heart attack and takes time off no one thinks he isn't reliable, or not deserving advancement. Why should parental leave be viewed any different?

[Conweis]

I have been saying for years that the pay gap is more about the parental role, than sexism.

[MrsDavidB]

I see the point here but in my husband’s line of work women and men are absolutely paid equal with women even getting the upper hand as in time paid off way more than men.

[MrsDavidB]

I see the point here but in my husband’s line of work women and men are absolutely paid equal with women even getting the upper hand as in time paid off way more than men.

[Deleted User 1039]

I say we have more realistic expectations that parents will need to take time off, and stop penalizing parents - male or female - for taking care of their families.

But shouldn't employers also be able to reward their employees who do a good job? If a manager is doing reviews of two employees doing basically the same work, and they both get the job done and overall do great, but maybe she missed a deadline somewhere and missed an important meeting another time due to kid issues whereas he didn't miss anything. He proved more reliable so shouldn't he get a slightly higher raise than her? Or are you saying she should still make as much as him because "family" should be an acceptable excuse for blunders?

That’s pure assumption on your part. That’s a big part of the problem. People assume that it must be the case because women are worse employees.

[Anonymous 1]

I agree. I've been passed over for numerous things I'm qualified for because I'm a single mother. I've actually had my bitch boss tell me she didn't put me in the leadership program because she thought I couldn't handle it because I'm a single mom. Now that I think about it i should have complained and gone to the EEOC or something but I have no proof now. I only stay because I get excellent benefits, excellent fringe benefits and I have 5 years there. I stopped working so hard though. I spend my energy on getting my second degree and working on my small business.
However the men get everything they want at my job. Even though half their info is from me and my team. They move up like weeds when I can't move up to save my life (hence school and my business).

It might not be sexism but it is a form of discrimination.

[Anonymous 2]

I make more money than my husband. My parenting responsibilities haven’t prevented me from growing in my career. I typically would take the sick days with the kids more too, as I get 15 sick days per year. DH gets 5.