Confessional time

[Anonymous 1]

I've said many times in the past that I am done with having kids. But the truth is, I want one more. When my husband and I were engaged, we talked about having a family and we both agreed we wanted 4 kids. After having our third, he is done. I am not and its killing me on the inside. I know most of you all won't understand. Why can't I be happy with the kids I have? Why do I need 4 kids? First off, I am very happy with the kids we have. But why I "need" 4 kids is harder to explain. I feel like Im missing someone. Like there is someone missing from the picture. I understand that seems insane, but I dont know how else to describe it. Something is not complete. And its really heartbreaking for me even though I try to push it back and reason with myself. Thats why I pretend and tell people Im done. I guess trying to convince myself. Yes, I know I should get counseling for it, but I doubt it would help. Pretty sure Im just going to end up resentful, but I guess its better than having someone resentful of me.

And please dont come at me with the "you know how many people wish to have one child". That's just so rude to say. Yes I feel for those people. But that doesn't invalidate my feelings. My feelings are no less than anyone else's because someone else may be less fortunate than I am. It's always so rude to throw something like that in someones face. All of our struggles are different. It doesn't make anyone's struggles in life less valid. So if you had issues having just one child or are having issues conceiving a child of your own, Im sorry. But I have a right to how I feel and I have a right to voice it just as much as anyone else's. Its good to get things out in the open. And thats what Im doing here. Getting something off my chest because that is what this is for. And I cant talk about this with anyone I know. Hopefully it will help me move on. I'll try and find a hobby or something. I dont know. Im just feeling sad about it today.

[QuantumNursing]

Its ok to grieve.

[Fullxbusymom]

I completely 100% understand and felt the exact same way until I had #3.

[Anonymous 1]

Its ok to grieve.

Thank you.

[Anonymous 2]

You won't hear me condemn you for your feelings. I totally get what you are saying. And I'm sorry that you are feeling sad about this.

[Anonymous 1]

I completely 100% understand and felt the exact same way until I had #3.

Thank you. I think what's making it worse is that I have been having really vivid dreams lately of holding this baby in my arms. Or dreams of running around with this little girl. Dreams that seem so real that when I wake up and realize its not, I fight myself not to fall to pieces. I understand my husband on this. I dont get why its so hard for me. I am so happy for the kids we have. They should be enough. There is something in my heart, IDK.

[Pjmm]

You never know, counseling could help. At least you'll know why you feel what you do and maybe knowing you can be happy with what you have. I personally don't want more. But if it's eating you up you should talk to someone about it.

[Anonymous 3]

What are your DH’s concerns about having another child? Would it put pressure on family finances?

[Anonymous 4]

I've said many times in the past that I am done with having kids. But the truth is, I want one more. When my husband and I were engaged, we talked about having a family and we both agreed we wanted 4 kids. After having our third, he is done. I am not and its killing me on the inside. I know most of you all won't understand. Why can't I be happy with the kids I have? Why do I need 4 kids? First off, I am very happy with the kids we have. But why I "need" 4 kids is harder to explain. I feel like Im missing someone. Like there is someone missing from the picture. I understand that seems insane, but I dont know how else to describe it. Something is not complete. And its really heartbreaking for me even though I try to push it back and reason with myself. Thats why I pretend and tell people Im done. I guess trying to convince myself. Yes, I know I should get counseling for it, but I doubt it would help. Pretty sure Im just going to end up resentful, but I guess its better than having someone resentful of me.

And please dont come at me with the "you know how many people wish to have one child". That's just so rude to say. Yes I feel for those people. But that doesn't invalidate my feelings. My feelings are no less than anyone else's because someone else may be less fortunate than I am. It's always so rude to throw something like that in someones face. All of our struggles are different. It doesn't make anyone's struggles in life less valid. So if you had issues having just one child or are having issues conceiving a child of your own, Im sorry. But I have a right to how I feel and I have a right to voice it just as much as anyone else's. Its good to get things out in the open. And thats what Im doing here. Getting something off my chest because that is what this is for. And I cant talk about this with anyone I know. Hopefully it will help me move on. I'll try and find a hobby or something. I dont know. Im just feeling sad about it today.

A deals a deal. Did he get a vasectomy?

[Anonymous 1]

What are your DH’s concerns about having another child? Would it put pressure on family finances?

No issues with finances. At first he just said that after our last child he had a change of mind. More recently he said it's because of time. He doesn't want to be too old to do anything once the kids are grown. He wants us to be able to travel and enjoy life before we get too old to do it. He is 38.