How would it make you feel?

[EmilyH87]

Instead of being passive-aggressive you should have TALKED to him. TELL HIM what he did bothered you. He can't read your mind. I'm not saying it's okay he was ogling someone else. But you're going on these trips to work on your marriage, right? You're not working on it if you aren't discussing the issues you have.

[Anonymous 10]

Your marriage is over, he has no respect for you and you can't communicate your wants and needs so instead you try to be passive aggressive. Stop pretending and wasting money on trips and hire a lawyer instead.

[EmilyH87]

I think you have a serious problem. You need to tell him why you were upset, and that you don't appreciate him looking at other women. If he's getting off thinking about someone else, then that is also a problem.

Honestly, I wouldn't be with a man that stared at another woman when I was sitting right there. I don't know why your marriage is having trouble, but it sounds like it might just get worse from here.

I did tell him. He did as he always does, turned it on me,then told me I'm delusional.

He can do no wrong & if I call him out on anything or Express my feelings about something he does that's disrespectful, he goes into the silent treatment & we have to ignore & move on from it.

While on the other hand, we ( he) can tell me all day what I'm saying or doing wrong.
Ex) we went to the store ,the car in the next parking space was over the line,so I parked over my line a bit. I was instructed by dh to move my truck over & when I said no it's fine Jesus Christ. He yelled & screamed about what a moron I am.

I'm sorry, but your marriage has problems some camping trips together just aren't going to fix. Why do you even want to keep being with someone who treats you like that constantly?

[Anonymous 1]

Instead of being passive-aggressive you should have TALKED to him. TELL HIM what he did bothered you. He can't read your mind. I'm not saying it's okay he was ogling someone else. But you're going on these trips to work on your marriage, right? You're not working on it if you aren't discussing the issues you have.

Anytime I try to discuss our issues, he throws a temper tantrum, tells me I'm crazy or delusional & then gives me the silent treatment. None of you understand, he treats me like I'm a child that needs punishing if I dont do as he says or if I talk about something he did or said that bothers me. I can't talk about what bothers me because I'm not allowed to. He literally acts like a child, talks louder, calls me names, The works. Then for days we dont talk & then when we do talk again, we only talk about neutral things or anything I say or do wrong. What he has said or done that bothers me, is not to be brought up again.

[Anonymous 7]

What does “working on your marriage” mean to you? Who is responsible for that? Just him?

How did silently fuming for 3 hours help your marriage?

To me it means we both listen to the other & work together to make our marriage work.

Apparently to him it means, to be the dictator & I must fall all over myself trying to make him happy or he throws a temper tantrum & then gives me the silent treatment. All while he berates me .

Silently fuming helped because he does nothing wrong & saying anything about what he did wrong means I have to put up with his temper tantrums. Its gotten to the point, I just say okay & turn away.

I realize now that hes never going to work on himself or the actual marriage, hes just going to stay married and beat me down emotionally, it's better than having to pay me alimony.

I don’t see anything here that makes me think you are working on it either.

But, I also don’t see anything worth saving. Maybe you should be working on leaving.

[Anonymous 1]

Your marriage is over, he has no respect for you and you can't communicate your wants and needs so instead you try to be passive aggressive. Stop pretending and wasting money on trips and hire a lawyer instead.

I know in my brain that you're right. I did let go of the marriage at one point & I moved on with just making myself happy. I'm thinking (now) that he saw that. And that's why he asked me to work on the marriage. He just has a different idea of what work on the marriage means. I'm starting to realize that to him it means, hes the dictator & I better ask how high I should jump when he says jump.

[That'swhatshesaid]

You are not sure who he was thinking of when he got off. He could've been thinking about all of the things he wanted to do to you.

Why would he want to do anything to me when hes horny for another woman? I would just be the hole he has to put it in .

You will never be the only woman to get your husband turned on. Don't sit here and tell me you get off only thinking about him? And I'm not going to go back and forth with you because I know this is a touchy subject for lots of women.

Not everyone is willing to trade their self respect for money and a house. Some women actually have standards above a large bank account and expect to be treated with respect not like a whore.

[Anonymous 1]

Why would he want to do anything to me when hes horny for another woman? I would just be the hole he has to put it in .

You will never be the only woman to get your husband turned on. Don't sit here and tell me you get off only thinking about him? And I'm not going to go back and forth with you because I know this is a touchy subject for lots of women.

Not everyone is willing to trade their self respect for money and a house. Some women actually have standards above a large bank account and expect to be treated with respect not like a whore.

Omg thank you for putting my feelings in words I couldn't Express.

[MistressMonster]

Sorry, but the marriage is doomed. He only wanted to work on it, to try and keep control of you. Please hire a lawyer, and serve him with divorce papers. And no matter how hard he tries to sweet talk you, turn on the water works, etc. Do not go back!

[EmilyH87]

Instead of being passive-aggressive you should have TALKED to him. TELL HIM what he did bothered you. He can't read your mind. I'm not saying it's okay he was ogling someone else. But you're going on these trips to work on your marriage, right? You're not working on it if you aren't discussing the issues you have.

Anytime I try to discuss our issues, he throws a temper tantrum, tells me I'm crazy or delusional & then gives me the silent treatment. None of you understand, he treats me like I'm a child that needs punishing if I dont do as he says or if I talk about something he did or said that bothers me. I can't talk about what bothers me because I'm not allowed to. He literally acts like a child, talks louder, calls me names, The works. Then for days we dont talk & then when we do talk again, we only talk about neutral things or anything I say or do wrong. What he has said or done that bothers me, is not to be brought up again.

Then here is your million dollar question: Why do you WANT to save a marriage to someone who treats you like shit?