After the toxic is gone...then what?

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Most of my friends are my kids' friends' moms. If my kids like their kids, it has a funny way of working out that I like the moms. Have some playdates, go out for coffee with people, and fake it till you make it.

[Anonymous 4]

You breathe fresh air and find new things that you enjoy doing, meet new people and learn to cull toxic newbies early. Do not fall back into comfortable patterns.

[Deleted User 172]

You relish the freedom. You heal from the wounds the toxic people left. You learn to love yourself. When you're strong and healthy again, the right people will find you.

Love this song. It got me through a lot of bad stuff.

[hugs]

make new friends

[agander2017]

You realize that when you're picking friends, it's quality over quantity. I have a few very good friends, and I'm happy with that. I don't need a lot of people around me. I just need a few friends that I can hang out with, and talk to.

[Anonymous 5]

I could have written your post, OP! I cut out many family members and the last 2 (my parents) has been 5 years ago. Before that I had to cut out aunts, an uncle, and many cousins and also some friends. Doesn't leave much left. And unfortunately, the stragglers that I have left aren't that great and some more might have to go at some point as well....some of these remainders aren't exactly like the others that I already cut out, but they sure aren't pleasant to be around and I held onto them because there "was no one else" and I'm finally knowing that I would rather be alone than to be around people that are rude.

So in the last several years, I also had those feelings of "what now"? I found a great therapist and I worked hard on myself while at the same time, cut myself some slack and let myself have down time which was necessary. I was the biggest people pleaser ever so i was always very busy trying to please all of those aholes that i cut out. So I started taking time for myself and learning to love myself (still working on it) and I am learning to like being alone sometimes. I have my DH and kids so that is a true blessing, and I have an occasional person or 2 that I might see 1-2 times a year or so. I have truly embraced that that's all I need and I am done with "the search" that I have been on my whole life to try to find "replacements" of the ahole family that I grew up with. It hasn't happened for me to find "replacements" so I just accept what I DO have more than ever instead of focusing on what I don't have. It is definitely a roller coaster and a journey but I am a survivor and I have thrived in my circumstances. Hugs to you!!

[CrazyJenn]

Make some new friends, and find a hobby.

[Anonymous 1]

Thank you all. It seems I’m not alone with this feeling.

[QuantumNursing]

I pursue my hubbies and passions outside of the house.
I am happy, successful, confident, I feel sexy, and I am typically really having a great time. That is what I attract back into my life. Works like a charm.

What are your hobbies?
I'm getting into photography right now.

That sounds wonderful

[QuantumNursing]

Thank you all. It seems I’m not alone with this feeling.

You arent. I like to take personal education classes at the local Community college. For instance right now Im taking a stained glass class. Ots fun,creative and Ive made several good friends