People are calling me petty and jealous because I dont want the other woman in my house

[Msprekteacher]

The larger fat more important question is how did and does your daughter feel? The slight here was to YOU as the wife not to her as the daughter.

If she has a good relationship with her step mother then you need to swallow the hurt and do what is best for her.

My ex and I divorced many years after I caught him cheating. We coparented pretty well. We werent perfect and we both make mistakes but overall I think we did good given the circumstances.

I am civil with the mistress who is now his wife. It took awhile but I am polite to her.

My oldest just graduated and I threw a big graduation party. My ex asked if he can come and I said sure. He asked if his wife can come and I told him no. I dont want her in my house. She disrespected me in a fundamental way. She was my friend before all of it happened. I am not saying it is just her that was wrong, my ex was more in the wrong BUT he is the father of my kids and that is what makes it different.

A lot of his family was going to be there. He was not going to have his own graduation party.

Everything was fine at the party but after some people were talking shit about me about how I was just petty and jealous. I guess it might be seen as petty but that doesnt mean I am jealous. Years ago sure I can admit I was but things turned out for the best for me. I have an amazing husband.

I dont like having people who have disrespected me in my own home. It is one thing when it is the father of my children and it is a big day for them. That I can deal with but it doesnt mean I want his wife there. She burned bridges all those years ago. I burned the bridge that was my marriage to my ex but because we are parenting together I can never completely burn that bridge

I just wanted to vent.

[Olioxenfree]

How do your kids feel about this? Would they have minded her being there?

[jas]

It's not about you.

[stilltfez]

Did your son want his stepmom there?

[Lotus]

I would be very annoyed if I invited people to my home to celebrate my child and they were gossiping about me.

When these people are in your situation, they can take the high road if its that easy. In the meantime.. they should mind there space and respect yours.

[Anonymous 1]

My kids are not close with their step mom.

[KaiandKadensMama]

My dad does a lot of stuff with us, without his wife being present. I don’t get this feeling that a spouse must attend everything. This graduation party was for his daughter, and HE attended. His wife not being present isn’t a big deal. My dad attended my college graduation without his wife, and my mom without her husband. No one flipped.

[Emmasmom]

In my opinion you do sound as though you're petty. I don't think jealous but petty, yes.

[Momto2boys973]

When you invite (or just accept their request to be invited) you should accept the fact that their spouse comes with the deal. That’s being civil. Being “polite” to her when you have to deal with her doesn’t mean you’re being civil towards her. It just means that under those circumstances, you’re not openly hostile. But it’s rude to have someone over to an event and tell them their spouse isn’t welcome.
And I’m sorry, but that really shows you’re still hurting and still resentful. Which, as I said, it’s understandable. And no one who hasn’t been in your shoes has a right to judge you as petty, that’s for sure. But at least be honest with yourself and don’t make excuses for your behavior. Because that will really prevent you from one day putting it behind you if you’re working this hard to convince yourself that you already are passed it and you’re really being civil to her when you obviously aren’t yet.

While I can understand that you’re still feeling hurt for what you did, don’t pretend you’re civil and polite to her if you invite her husband but not her to a party. Just admit that you’re still not in a place where you can actually put that behind you to be civil.

Well I didnt invite him. He asked if he could come and I said okay. I wouldnt have just invited him

That doesnt mean I am not polite and civil when we run into each other or if we are at events together. I dont feel hurt anymore, it was a long time ago. It is a respect thing

[Anonymous 1]

Neither of my kids would have wanted her there. The slight was against the whole family. She disrespected all of us

It was my son who graduated this year

The larger fat more important question is how did and does your daughter feel? The slight here was to YOU as the wife not to her as the daughter.

If she has a good relationship with her step mother then you need to swallow the hurt and do what is best for her.

My ex and I divorced many years after I caught him cheating. We coparented pretty well. We werent perfect and we both make mistakes but overall I think we did good given the circumstances.

I am civil with the mistress who is now his wife. It took awhile but I am polite to her.

My oldest just graduated and I threw a big graduation party. My ex asked if he can come and I said sure. He asked if his wife can come and I told him no. I dont want her in my house. She disrespected me in a fundamental way. She was my friend before all of it happened. I am not saying it is just her that was wrong, my ex was more in the wrong BUT he is the father of my kids and that is what makes it different.

A lot of his family was going to be there. He was not going to have his own graduation party.

Everything was fine at the party but after some people were talking shit about me about how I was just petty and jealous. I guess it might be seen as petty but that doesnt mean I am jealous. Years ago sure I can admit I was but things turned out for the best for me. I have an amazing husband.

I dont like having people who have disrespected me in my own home. It is one thing when it is the father of my children and it is a big day for them. That I can deal with but it doesnt mean I want his wife there. She burned bridges all those years ago. I burned the bridge that was my marriage to my ex but because we are parenting together I can never completely burn that bridge

I just wanted to vent.