DH is angry at me because I refused to take care of his kids during the week

[Anonymous 1]

He has them every weekend. He works 12 hour days Monday through Friday. He wanted the kids to come out for the full summer. I told him if that was the case he needed to get childcare during the days.

I dont mind helping out with my step kids but having to be there every single day during the week the whole 13-14 hours he is gone was not going to happen. I have a life also. I had plans. I had stuff to do with my own kids. I tried compromising and saying they could come every Friday so they would have one more night.

Last summer they were here every weekend and there was one 3 week stretch of time they were here the whole time. DH was up and out the door before they woke up and came home when they were in bed almost every night. If he was lucky they were still getting ready for bed when he got home and he got to tell them goodnight.

I am sure they would rather be home with their mom and spend time with her than come here and not even see their dad. I like my step kids and they like me but of course they would rather be around their mom or dad

In a few years they will be old enough to not need childcare every day so if I have to leave they can be home by themselves some of the time. I still think they would rather be with mom though even when that is the case.

He thinks I should just drop everything and be available every weekday during the summer when he wont even cut back on the amount he works or take any time off. I dont even mind them coming for another 3 weeks. I can plan for that but it still seems like a waste when he still would only be able to spend time with him on the weekends.

His job is the reason he doesnt see the kids more not me. He should be angry at himself. I am willing to compromise but that takes two people

[stilltfez]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet by putting your foot down. I'm glad you were able to solve this issue.

[stilltfez]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet by putting your foot down. I'm glad you were able to solve this issue.

[Anonymous 2]

The whole point of visitation is so that kids can spend time with that parent. If that parent isn't going to be there then why bother? Let them stay with the other one.

Doesn't he take ANY time off when they're there?

[Anonymous 3]

I feel like this has been done a few times now (and on the old CM). Are you the same stepmom that ignores the stepkids to go do fun things with your own kids and will not invite the stepkids most of the time?

[Anonymous 1]

The whole point of visitation is so that kids can spend time with that parent. If that parent isn't going to be there then why bother? Let them stay with the other one.

Doesn't he take ANY time off when they're there?

He has the week of thanksgiving and 3 weeks off for Christmas every year. He also takes a week off for spring break the years they are with us.

He can take time off during the summer but he doesnt like to because it puts him behind and it stresses him out. I can somewhat understand that but it would be worth it if he spent some more time with the kids.

He spends the whole weekend with them and tries to do as much fun stuff with them as possible

[Anonymous 1]

I feel like this has been done a few times now (and on the old CM). Are you the same stepmom that ignores the stepkids to go do fun things with your own kids and will not invite the stepkids most of the time?

I dont ever ignore my step kids. I do stuff with my own kids without them a lot though but that is because my kids are adults and most are away at college

I invite them to things I know they will enjoy. We went to an amusement park together a few weeks back and we are taking a trip to the aquarium next week. BM is going too but DH is working

[Anonymous 3]

Okay that's not you then There was this stepmom that would ignore her stepkids a lot and the stepkids' parents sucked and always pushed them away which is why they were at their dad's during the summer so much but the stepmom hated it. I always felt bad for those stepkids (if the story was true).

I feel like this has been done a few times now (and on the old CM). Are you the same stepmom that ignores the stepkids to go do fun things with your own kids and will not invite the stepkids most of the time?

I dont ever ignore my step kids. I do stuff with my own kids without them a lot though but that is because my kids are adults and most are away at college

I invite them to things I know they will enjoy. We went to an amusement park together a few weeks back and we are taking a trip to the aquarium next week. BM is going too but DH is working

[WickedPissah]

Sad to see a spouse not supporting their spouse.

[Msprekteacher]

Those poor kids. I really hate to hear step parents who knowingly married a partner with children behave this way. “My kids, his kids”. What ever happened to OUR kids. Ugh