Who's right, me or my sister?

[Deleted User 1039]

I"m with your sister, She seems to be the only one concerned with your mom's health and helping her to live as long as possible so the family doesn't miss out on precious time with her. If it is your goal however, to kill your mother off as quickly as possible so you will no longer be burdened by having to help with her then by all means, continue to feed her crap. When you get to a certain age in life one begins to lose one's faculties and that includes being capable of making responsible and informed decisions and the behavior of caring for one so elderly is akin to caring for a child in having to tell them no and set restrictions. If your mom is losing control of her bowels it is clear she is well beyond the capability of making such informed decisions for herself and it is up to you and your sister to be the responsible parties in managing her health and well being and quite frankly you're failing at it.

Uh, you clearly have no clue what you are talking about. Like...at all. Nt legally, not medically, not socially...was this mean to just be a joke response? No one is honestly this clueless, right?

You think someone should be required to have an activated POA because they choose to eat food that upsets their stomach? Because that's my husband pretty frequently. Me sometimes, too. And pretty much every human I know.

You think that incontinence means you must be unable to comprehend risks and benefits of medical decisions?

[Anonymous 6]

I"m with your sister, She seems to be the only one concerned with your mom's health and helping her to live as long as possible so the family doesn't miss out on precious time with her. If it is your goal however, to kill your mother off as quickly as possible so you will no longer be burdened by having to help with her then by all means, continue to feed her crap. When you get to a certain age in life one begins to lose one's faculties and that includes being capable of making responsible and informed decisions and the behavior of caring for one so elderly is akin to caring for a child in having to tell them no and set restrictions. If your mom is losing control of her bowels it is clear she is well beyond the capability of making such informed decisions for herself and it is up to you and your sister to be the responsible parties in managing her health and well being and quite frankly you're failing at it.

It depends on her quality of life. If she just wants to enjoy herself that's her choice. If she wants to be miserable. that's actually her choice, too. It's condescending to compare her to a child.

[Valentina327]

I’m with you.

Thank you. I can't image being home bound all week then when finally getting out being told what I can eat.

Exactly. The woman is 80 and it's 1 meal out of 21 all week. If I had to change her diaper or clean her up I might have a different opinion, but she can still function on her own.

[Valentina327]

I"m with your sister, She seems to be the only one concerned with your mom's health and helping her to live as long as possible so the family doesn't miss out on precious time with her. If it is your goal however, to kill your mother off as quickly as possible so you will no longer be burdened by having to help with her then by all means, continue to feed her crap. When you get to a certain age in life one begins to lose one's faculties and that includes being capable of making responsible and informed decisions and the behavior of caring for one so elderly is akin to caring for a child in having to tell them no and set restrictions. If your mom is losing control of her bowels it is clear she is well beyond the capability of making such informed decisions for herself and it is up to you and your sister to be the responsible parties in managing her health and well being and quite frankly you're failing at it.

Oooh the drama! Yes, mother is incompetent because 2 times a month she has a taste for something. Pick out the casket and shop for the funeral dress!

I'd like to know where you've seen the criteria that "losing control of your bowels" equates to not being able to make your own decisions.

Is that the litmus test that the judges use now to determine if someone is incompetent - a stool sample? LOL

[Donnie]

You’re both right.

You do what works for you. Let your sister do what works for her.

[Deleted User 203]

I'm on your side of this.

Your Mom is old enough to understand what causes her issues yet still able to decide if she wants to chance it or not.

[Kikibix]

What you eat is important to your health. It might only be sudden urge to use toilet now but later it could be a lot worse. Listen to your bodies. I think your sister is right, a healthier diet is better.

[Mommabearof2]

I"m with your sister, She seems to be the only one concerned with your mom's health and helping her to live as long as possible so the family doesn't miss out on precious time with her. If it is your goal however, to kill your mother off as quickly as possible so you will no longer be burdened by having to help with her then by all means, continue to feed her crap. When you get to a certain age in life one begins to lose one's faculties and that includes being capable of making responsible and informed decisions and the behavior of caring for one so elderly is akin to caring for a child in having to tell them no and set restrictions. If your mom is losing control of her bowels it is clear she is well beyond the capability of making such informed decisions for herself and it is up to you and your sister to be the responsible parties in managing her health and well being and quite frankly you're failing at it.

I care very much about my Mom and her health. She is nowhere near in capable of making sound decisions. I have stop taking her to McDonald's (her favorite place) because I agree their food is nasty but I won't stop taking her out to eat. This weekend she wanted Denny's so that's where we went. She had breakfast food. I don't think it was terrible. After that, we went grocery shopping and the Dollar Store. She didn't "need" to use the bathroom until we got home over an hour later.

[agander2017]

I would personally take my mom to a doctor and find out what's going on. If it's just because of old age, well then there is not much you can do about it. At that point, I would probably take her out to get what she wants, but stay away from extra greasy stuff, as much as you can.

If there is something going on with her that is caused by the food, then yes, I wouldn't take her out to get food. At least not that often. Maybe once in awhile, but not every weekend.

[leadfoot40]

I'm with your sister.