Did I say anything wrong in these texts?

[MonkeySeeMonkeyDo]

Apparently my stepdaughter is upset with me over me asking her about the ashes....well according to her mother.

I really don’t think I said anything wrong, but her mother texted me and said she was really upset with how I spoke to her about the ashes.

Her exact words “last time you talked to her she was quite upset with how you worded her getting part of his remains”

[jas]

Not that I see

[Deleted User 670]

I'd text the kid and ask her if she was upset with you. If she isn't upset with you then tell her mom to f**k off.

[Anonymous 1]

You didnt say anything wrong.
Is there such a thing as a fake funeral?

[MonkeySeeMonkeyDo]

You didnt say anything wrong.
Is there such a thing as a fake funeral?

We had a memorial service two days after he died and it was a shit show.

We are planning a memorial service for next year if people want to come. That’s the problem I’m running into, no one wants to come.

[MonkeySeeMonkeyDo]

I'd text the kid and ask her if she was upset with you. If she isn't upset with you then tell her mom to f**k off.

I’ve thought about that but I have a feeling it would just cause more problems.

I’m truly tempted to block the ex wife. The kids are all 17+ and I don’t need to have any contact with their mom.

[Anonymous 1]

You didnt say anything wrong.
Is there such a thing as a fake funeral?

We had a memorial service two days after he died and it was a shit show.

We are planning a memorial service for next year if people want to come. That’s the problem I’m running into, no one wants to come.

Do you think its a good idea to even contemplate having another memorial service, seeing how the first one went?

[MonkeySeeMonkeyDo]

You didnt say anything wrong.
Is there such a thing as a fake funeral?

We had a memorial service two days after he died and it was a shit show.

We are planning a memorial service for next year if people want to come. That’s the problem I’m running into, no one wants to come.

Do you think its a good idea to even contemplate having another memorial service, seeing how the first one went?

Yes

The last one was a shit show because it was 2 days after he died. There’s a lot of family that couldn’t come because they were out of state. And I know why she’s upset, the guy that spoke forgot to include her and her siblings (the guy also forgot to include me and one of his siblings)

I’m trying to plan a memorial service for him at a park to accommodate everyone not a true funeral.

[Anonymous 2]

I think it’s fine... but looking at it with my crazy-CM-troll-mind:

You suggested, twice, that she doesn’t really want her dad’s ashes. She already told you she did.

Text is hard because there’s no tone of voice or visual cues. This conversation would have been better over the phone or in person.

If her mom is a reliable source of information, let sd know that you didn’t mean to offend her.

Really, I don’t think you were trying to be offensive.

[EmilyH87]

I don't think you said anything wrong, but maybe you asking a couple of times in a row made her feel like you thought she wouldn't want her dad's ashes and that hurt her feelings? I wouldn't personally see it that way, but that's all I can think of.