I recognize my huge life mistake

[Anonymous 1]

Getting married and having kids with a narcissist.

It only took me 10 years being married to him to see the light. Like a frog in a pot slowly getting hotter I couldn’t see it until I was on fire. I am 7 years 6 months and 6 days out.

The last year has been pretty difficult because I’ve been seeing someone for the first time and my ex has really been trying to get under my skin. He’s a gaslighter and manipulater trying to use the kids to hurt me. It’s the only thing he can do. It’s aweful honestly. As he’s doing mean things to me he’s telling our children how nice he is to me and I’m just so mean to him. It’s disgusting and it enraged me. He’ll flat out lie to them to gain sympathy and the upper hand.

However I’m keeping my cool and just loving my kids and talking to them about appropriate boundaries. I’m doing my best. My younger kids love me and I doubt he’s going to turn them against me. Unfortunately he’s turned our older daughter against me. It’s sad and sick what he’s done to her. It’s disgusting. He flat out twisted and lied to gain her affection at the detriment of my relationship with her. In fact I was talking to her yesterday and she relayed a story of something that happened 10 years ago. And he told her I said something he said to her that was mean. I told her it was inaccurate but it’s just my word against his. I realize what’s he’s done.

He’s a sick person who seriously abused me. It’s so disgusting.

[stilltfez]

All you can do is focus forward and gently correct her if she tells you a version of reality he's altered to pit her against you. He will never stop being who he is and doing what he does. You should focus on your happy and leave him to his miserable.

[Deleted User 172]

Stop giving him that power.
Once he loses that power over you, you win.

[Deleted User 670]

Time to be honest and unvarnished with the truth to your daughter. Tell her that her father is a narcissist and only cares about himself and that she is only setting herself up for heartbreak. Counseling might help her too.

[Momto2boys973]

How old is your daughter? Old enough to understand the facts if you present them to her? I also suggest keeping records of everything he says, you may have a case for parental alienation.