BM wants me to sit down with her so we can have a conversation about respect

[Anonymous2.0]

Her and dh should converse. Not you...

[Anonymous 1]

Personally, I think choices like cars should be something both parents should agree on.
Obviously with a divorce, there are 2 different homes with 2 different set of rules and as long a single it’s about house rules, they should be respected and the other parent has lo saying in it.
But a car isn’t a house rule and therefore both parents should agree on that.
I do agree with you that this conversation about respect shouldn’t be done with you, though, it should be done with her ex. He’s the one that needs to respect her as the mother of her child and consider her input when making this kind of choices.

She only uses the car when she is at our house so it really falls under our house rules.

[Anonymous 1]

Her and dh should converse. Not you...

DH told her there is nothing more to talk about

[Anonymous 5]

I don't agree in giving a child a car without both parents agreeing to it and being heard.

Her parents are divorced. Pretty sure a major reason for that is that they don't have the same views and don't always agree. It happens and sometimes things like the OP is a result of that.

[That'swhatshesaid]

BM isn't happy, huh?

She never is.

[Deleted User 670]

I'd have responded with a youtube recording of Aretha singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T and as well as this meme.

[Anonymous 6]

I can understand why anyone might want a kid to contribute to the purchase of a car, college tuition, etc., I can also relate to what it feels like to have the stance that "the kid should contribute" but then have my stance dismissed because BM or BD did not agree with my stance. I don't know what the right way to handle that is. But in my case, I just let BM and BD make decisions about their child. But I also told my husband that whatever he decided to do with his kids was not going to dictate what gets done with ours.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Knowing that BM had this value system, you didn't make any effort to jive with it? That makes no sense to me. I'm a big fan of the don't-start-nothin'-won't-be-nothin' school of thought.

For example, you could have charged to kid $25 a week. And then in a few years when she's shopping for a new car, you gift it back to her. Or it could have been a car repair slush fund.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Let her pay you the amount she's putting in savings, you put it in the savings account, and give it back to her later. Problem solved.

Some folks just can't be happy without problems.

[Bubbs]

I read that she only uses the car when at your house. Then it is a non issue and no need for conversation.

no need for conversation anyway and I have been a SM and now am a BM.