insisting kids only go 2 and a half hours away from college or less

[Anonymous 8]

We homeschool and will not allow a 16 year old to live in a dorm. They have to do our "community college" for the first year. The campus is 15 minutes away and do not require those that live within a certain mileage to live in the dorms. We know this because we have friends that have kids that are going there as freshman now that live as close as we do. After they get their first year completed at the community college, they will apply for other schools and scholarships.

You do realize that is going to hold them back though possibly? A lot of universities are now requiring all freshman to live on campus. Our local college I graduated from has this rule. So you have to either do community college for freshman year or live on campus. Living off campus is not allowed.

And if they got a full ride scholarship for 4 years with housing-I am pretty sure they have to use it or lose it.

I would be more willing to do a gap year for them then have them turn down scholarships.

Wow! They're graduating at 16 through the homeschooling? That's awesome!

Yeah, they can. We HSed DS up through 10th. He started 11th in public this year. He'll graduate next year, shortly before he turns 17. ...If he had stayed homeschooling he would have hopefully graduated with an A.S. degree (dual credit), but he's too lazy and decided he'd rather sit in a school playing on his phone all day (and DH let him pick that decision.)

[SeekingPeace]

Good mom!

My daughter is a college freshman so I am fresh (no pun intended) from going down this path. While it was ultimately her decision if it fit the budget, we did try to guide her to schools that were no more than 3-4 hours from home. I did so for several reasons: 1) I knew she would want to come home periodically to see/ride her horse. 2) any further, we would have to factor a higher cost for travel on holidays and breaks and 3) more for me, but I wanted to be able to get up there easily in the event of an emergency. For the record, college was funded through partial scholarship she got as well as our college savings account. So we all have a financial stake in the decision.

Ultimately, she chose a college that was 3 hours 15 minutes from our house. Great school and as it turned out, I was right about the first point. She has come home 1x/month either due to a holiday or just a long weekend to see her horse. And we did have an emergency earlier this year that required my presence. Lastly, the travel expenses/arrangements have worked out fine for us this way. Many colleges require freshmen to live on campus (and in our case, sophomores too). Yet they also close the dorms during the Thanksgiving Holiday, Christmas Break and Spring Break. Our school charges if you have to stay over (although you can't during Christmas Break). And I can't tell you how many posts on the university parent's page that I have read about travel delays for buses, airplanes and complaints about the costs. There are families that are over 6 hours away that frequently are begging for car pools, having issues with storm delays for airplanes (it is located in the Northeast so winter storms are the norm), etc. Makes me glad that for us, it is a simple car ride.

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule one way or another about telling a kid where they should go. It should be a mature conversation looking at all the facts - costs (and who is contributing) for tuition and costs for housing and travel as well as is the program the right program for the student. My DD could have gone near to home but the schools we looked at with her major just were not the right environment/fit for her. This is important to ensuring a successful college career.

[mommy_jules]

I work in an academic setting and my views have changed dramatically over the years on this topic.
I do not believe, in 95% of cases, the college determines a student’s success. There are published scholars, researchers, and those leading STEM fields or liberal arts who literally started at a community college and finished at a local state uni. In fact, I have actually seen more success when a high ability student is in a lesser known university than in the heavy competition of IVY league. So I have no issues with attending college close to home.

Or in other words, the prestige or pride of IVY league schools would have only slighty influence my advice or recommendation unless my child truly wants to do nothing but research for the rest of their life.

What would influence my decision, is the emotional & social maturity and problem solving skills of my child. If my child is still needing assistance and guidance I would encourage they stay closer to home. I would remind them of the benefits of such a decision, but ultimately, it’s not my decision to make. It will be my child’s and I would ultimately fully support their choice.

Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, is an Auburn University graduate. War Eagle!

[JoJo728]

Thank you! I try to be. Not perfect but who is.

Good mom!

My daughter is a college freshman so I am fresh (no pun intended) from going down this path. While it was ultimately her decision if it fit the budget, we did try to guide her to schools that were no more than 3-4 hours from home. I did so for several reasons: 1) I knew she would want to come home periodically to see/ride her horse. 2) any further, we would have to factor a higher cost for travel on holidays and breaks and 3) more for me, but I wanted to be able to get up there easily in the event of an emergency. For the record, college was funded through partial scholarship she got as well as our college savings account. So we all have a financial stake in the decision.

Ultimately, she chose a college that was 3 hours 15 minutes from our house. Great school and as it turned out, I was right about the first point. She has come home 1x/month either due to a holiday or just a long weekend to see her horse. And we did have an emergency earlier this year that required my presence. Lastly, the travel expenses/arrangements have worked out fine for us this way. Many colleges require freshmen to live on campus (and in our case, sophomores too). Yet they also close the dorms during the Thanksgiving Holiday, Christmas Break and Spring Break. Our school charges if you have to stay over (although you can't during Christmas Break). And I can't tell you how many posts on the university parent's page that I have read about travel delays for buses, airplanes and complaints about the costs. There are families that are over 6 hours away that frequently are begging for car pools, having issues with storm delays for airplanes (it is located in the Northeast so winter storms are the norm), etc. Makes me glad that for us, it is a simple car ride.

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule one way or another about telling a kid where they should go. It should be a mature conversation looking at all the facts - costs (and who is contributing) for tuition and costs for housing and travel as well as is the program the right program for the student. My DD could have gone near to home but the schools we looked at with her major just were not the right environment/fit for her. This is important to ensuring a successful college career.

[mommeruchy]

My kids are way young still but dh and I are only okay with local NYC schools or Israel if my girls want to go to seminary or my son wants to go to yeshiva in Israel. DH and I are one of the only ones in our familes with college degrees and will encourage our kids to get them but I am very wary of secular environments long-term. So definitely no to dorming and going very far away.

[cellomom26]

Controlling parents inevitably wind up as very sad parents who rarely see their grown children. Then they complain loudly about this to anyone who will listen.

If my son got a full ride to any college, he can go whenever he wants. I would encourage him to go in state for undergrad to lessen the cost, but am willing to listen to his reasons for wanting to go out of state. I will help him as much as I am able.

College is short, a relationship with your child should be for decades. Children grow up, that is what they do.

[Anonymous 5]

If I were you, I’d just be happy that my children become college educated in a community where it’s fairly rare.

My kids are way young still but dh and I are only okay with local NYC schools or Israel if my girls want to go to seminary or my son wants to go to yeshiva in Israel. DH and I are one of the only ones in our familes with college degrees and will encourage our kids to get them but I am very wary of secular environments long-term. So definitely no to dorming and going very far away.

[Conweis]

The only rules we have in regards to college is: Their first year they have to live at home as we don't think they should be in a dorm at 16-17 years old with 20+ year olds. They have to work hard and attempt to get scholarships. We would prefer they go in state due to costs unless they get a full ride.

You do realize that is going to hold them back though possibly? A lot of universities are now requiring all freshman to live on campus. Our local college I graduated from has this rule. So you have to either do community college for freshman year or live on campus. Living off campus is not allowed.

And if they got a full ride scholarship for 4 years with housing-I am pretty sure they have to use it or lose it.

I would be more willing to do a gap year for them then have them turn down scholarships.

I think safety is more important and many colleges understand this. There is nothing holding a kid back from taking local classes while waiting unless it is implied in their scholarship they cannot.
For me, I rather my kids stay local, both for safety and cost. I know a few people who needed their guardians permission but were states away

[Anonymous 9]

We live with in 20 mins of a pretty good college that both my kids want to attend but I wouldnt stop them if they decided to go to somewhere else as long as it was as equally good or better of a school

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Mine is more of a 6 hour radius. And it's not so much of a hard no...it's more of a nobody's-paying-for-airfare-so-don't-bother kind of a thing. If they were to go so far away that we couldn't drive them there and back, they'd have to get a real apartment and move out instead of just dorming. Neither of my kids had any interest in that. My daughter is 4 hours away. I'm crossing my fingers that my son will go there as well.