insisting kids only go 2 and a half hours away from college or less

[Valentina327]

If he's capable of covering 100%of his expenses then yes, he should go where he wants and forget her "rule". Technically - If he's relying on them, they're the shot callers. He who holds the gold makes the rules.

I don't think any GOOD parent would prevent their child from such a fantastic opportunity to attend such a prestigious school that will set them up for life. Why would you deprive someone you love of an opportunity that just a fraction of the population will ever have?

[MrsDavidB]

I think it depends on the kid. My first went far away and is very independent and handled it just fine. My second needs more guidance, plans to come home some weekends, and he will handle college better being close. So I narrowed down a few choices that fit that for him. He is going 2 hours away. Perfect.

[mcginnisc]

We homeschool and will not allow a 16 year old to live in a dorm. They have to do our "community college" for the first year. The campus is 15 minutes away and do not require those that live within a certain mileage to live in the dorms. We know this because we have friends that have kids that are going there as freshman now that live as close as we do. After they get their first year completed at the community college, they will apply for other schools and scholarships.

The only rules we have in regards to college is: Their first year they have to live at home as we don't think they should be in a dorm at 16-17 years old with 20+ year olds. They have to work hard and attempt to get scholarships. We would prefer they go in state due to costs unless they get a full ride.

You do realize that is going to hold them back though possibly? A lot of universities are now requiring all freshman to live on campus. Our local college I graduated from has this rule. So you have to either do community college for freshman year or live on campus. Living off campus is not allowed.

And if they got a full ride scholarship for 4 years with housing-I am pretty sure they have to use it or lose it.

I would be more willing to do a gap year for them then have them turn down scholarships.

[mommy_jules]

My oldest isn't even 10 yet, so college isn't happening for awhile. I wouldn't have that rule for my kids, though. I'm not going to limit my kids' education that way. I want my kids to go to the college that would best fit their educational needs.

[MrsDavidB]

The only rules we have in regards to college is: Their first year they have to live at home as we don't think they should be in a dorm at 16-17 years old with 20+ year olds. They have to work hard and attempt to get scholarships. We would prefer they go in state due to costs unless they get a full ride.

I assume you have several good colleges around where they can still live at home and commute? We don’t have any close universities so that could never work here.

[Lotus]

You can't stop them from finding employment once they graduate outside of your 2.5hr control zone.
You delay the inevitable.

Is this the only way shes a strings attached parent?

[Anonymous 3]

Harvard doesn’t send letters to students asking them to apply. Did you make that one up or your friend? LOL

Lol. It's always the friend.

[Anonymous 4]

Considering it's not exactly news that Ivy league schools like Harvard are no longer what they are cracked up to be, we don't have a good opinion of them and our kids wouldn't be wasting their time going. Luckily we have several colleges within a few hours drive that are very good and have programs that prepare young people for careers that involve more than just dropping a certain university name, so it wouldn't be an issue.

[CotterpinDoozer]

Me personally, I don't think you can really enforce that rule. You can withhold aid, but you can't force them to stay by you just because you want them too. I'd never limit my child's education like that either.

I knew a family growing up that tried to enforce that rule. They also made it clear that they wouldn't help pay for college though. One kid went to the school about an hour away the other two pretty much laughed, said no, and went where they wanted. One for a full ride on a sports scholarship, the other got a partial scholarship and loans. Their parents being so overbearing has damaged their relationship a lot.

[EmilyH87]

My oldest son is MIT material. His teachers and any school official I've talkes to say he's MIT with full scholarships material. He's very smart and really good at math, science of any type and programming.
If he got a scholarship, or I came into the money to pay for him to go to school at MIT, I'll help him pack, and drop him off there myself.
I would totally break the rule for that.

If she has this rule due to money then the rule is now a moot point.

If she has this rule because she cant let go of her kids, then that is selfish and she needs to let her little bird fly.

its not about the money. She said it applies to all the kids because she wants to still be able to see them a lot and if they go across the country-that won't happen

Then that's selfish. I can't think of a word that describes it better. When it comes down to the bare bones of it, she wants them there for her own comfort of knowing they're close. Even more so if that keeps them from good opportunities.