Upcoming child support battle/custody

[Anonymous 1]

What would you do? This is my co worker. She filled me in and is totally stressed out but to be honest I am not sure she can do much at this point.

3 kids, 2 are grown 1 is 16 17 in Sept. The 2 oldest kids Dad died shortly after the youngest birth. He has lived almost entirely with her mother because at the time with the 2 other kids and being a widow she felt that was the best choice. Bio Dad has had little involvement until now.

Not that it matters but the 19 yr old boy lives with her and he just found out he is the father of not 1 but 2 kids (I posted on this). He has 1 of the kids the other is with the mom so needless to say my coworker is stressed out trying to cope with her son and his baby. He Is employed at least and is trying to clean his life up and be a Dad. She does make him pay some rent. She is totally financially strapped trying to survive as a single mom.

The father of the 16 yr old picked him up from Grandmas and has filed for custody and child support. Keep in mind he hasn't done anything in years but the boy wants a vehicle, wants a phone all which Dad of course has offered to get him just go live with him. My friend has court, he has a free attorney one of his friends is representing him. They want my friends W2's and tax returns.

The Dad lets the boy drive a vehicle without a license. Stays out late basically Disneyland Dad.

I've told her that since the the boy has been with Grandma all these years there is probably little she can do to get him. He is old enough he will just tell the judge he wants to live with Disneyland Dad.

She has no money for an attorney and even if she did put a bunch of legal fees on a credit card there is no guarantee she will win. Supports ends at 18 out here so worst case scenario she will pay for about 1.5 years. I don't think its worth it for her to fight him. A single mom coworker of ours just spent 18k on a legal battle and got nowhere but a ton of debt. She went through 2 attorneys and didn't like either of them.

What would you tell her (besides to make better life choices).

[Anonymous 2]

She should have been supporting her kid all along with grandma so at this point the money she should have been giving to grandma can go to dad. She really isnt in a position to judge dad as a parent so she should just stop with that. They will base the amount off of her income. This really isn't any different than any other parent being ordered to pay support.

What should she do? If the kid is going to live with dad, she should pay whatever support she's ordered to pay and figure out how to see her son on a regular basis.

[Anonymous 1]

I have no idea how much help she has been giving to her mother if any. Eve if she paid Grandma it would be spent.

I don't think there is any way she can get out of paying support to Dad.

She should have been supporting her kid all along with grandma so at this point the money she should have been giving to grandma can go to dad. She really isnt in a position to judge dad as a parent so she should just stop with that. They will base the amount off of her income. This really isn't any different than any other parent being ordered to pay support.

What should she do? If the kid is going to live with dad, she should pay whatever support she's ordered to pay and figure out how to see her son on a regular basis.

[Anonymous 3]

I can’t think of anything nice to say.

[Anonymous 2]

I have no idea how much help she has been giving to her mother if any. Eve if she paid Grandma it would be spent.

I don't think there is any way she can get out of paying support to Dad.

She should have been supporting her kid all along with grandma so at this point the money she should have been giving to grandma can go to dad. She really isnt in a position to judge dad as a parent so she should just stop with that. They will base the amount off of her income. This really isn't any different than any other parent being ordered to pay support.

What should she do? If the kid is going to live with dad, she should pay whatever support she's ordered to pay and figure out how to see her son on a regular basis.

If she was paying grandma that money can just be sent to dad instead if the kid will be living there. I dont understand what the problem is then?

[Pjmm]

Honestly I wouldn't offer any advice because I really have none. She sounds like she's not had custody so dad has right to ask although he may not get it. My advice is to let the other son pay for everything for his children. I hope she's not doing it.

[CandTmom]

I'd tell her she's trash and not to speak to me anymore.

[Pjmm]

I'd tell her she's trash and to speak to me anymore.

She's a coworker so how does that work? I've got co-workers that probably aren't high class. I still have to deal with them. I just don't judge because simply put it's not my business or my job. I don't involve myself either.

[CandTmom]

I'd tell her she's trash and to speak to me anymore.

She's a coworker so how does that work? I've got co-workers that probably aren't high class. I still have to deal with them. I just don't judge because simply put it's not my business or my job. I don't involve myself either.

Just because you work with someone doesn't mean you need to talk to them about anything other than work.

Calling her trash is obviously uncalled for. Maybe just think that part. I have told a few people that I have worked with that unless they have a work related question they shouldn't talk to me.

[Valentina327]

Why would she not counter sue the father for the past 16 years that he's done nothing for the child?

She's technically had custody-whether or not she gave her mother money is between the two of them.

I'd tell him that's what I'm doing if he persues this, so that potentially he could end up with 16 years of back support. That might slow him down a bit.

What an effed up situation.