10yo at a Superbowl Party for adults?

[noitsmebecky]

Okay so earlier today I totally forgot it was Super Bowl Sunday.

My boyfriend is going to a party that one of our mutual friends from high school is throwing.

It's going to be all adults or teens. DS10 wants to go. I said its fine and then in the course of conversation with his father this morning he mentioned it and my ex is like no that's inappropriate, I don't want him going and I'm going to bring it up in court.

First of all, no he's not, he always threatens that but he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on bc he's such a deadbeat taking me to court would only make things worse for him.

But now DS is conflicted bc he thinks his dad doesn't want him to go. Its not a bad environment. There might be some beer but they don't get hammered, they all have work the next day. I doubt my boyfriend will even drink more than one beer if he's there and DS loves hanging out with my boyfriend. I think its a good opportunity for him to be around good male role models but I can be a little biased when my ex goes against anything. I hate when he does this. I can't tell DS what to talk to his father about but I always end up having to find some way to smooth things over. This time I told him that dad probably just didn't understand who all was going to be there and that's why he's uncomfortable. It's BS. My ex knows exactly who's there, he just can't stand that DS is doing something w/ my boyfriend.

What do you think?

[RedBottoms]

Are you going to be at the party? I agree with ex that I don't think your son should be going off alone with your boyfriend at this juncture. He is not his Stepdad. Its your custody time-you should be spending time with your son in that time.

Now if you are also going-then its fine and your ex really has no leg to stand on.

If the roles were reversed would you let your ex's new girlfriend take him off somewhere alone? That would not bother you at all?

But I also think its time to have a good talk with your son about not telling his Dad every minor detail of your personal business when he is with you. Tell him that really Dad does not need to know what happens at your house and vice versa.

[Momto1son]

Are there usually kids there?

[Anonymous 1]

If the party is for adults and teens like you said your son want be a teen for 3more years and should not be in attendance

[Momto2boys973]

You just don’t take a kid to an all adult party. I’m sorry, I’m with your ex on that one. It’s not about whether or not it’s a “clean” party, it’s about respecting the other guests who are not expecting kids to be at that party. Also, your kid should know that there are situations when he cannot just go. It’s not personal, it’s just not appropriate to just bring a kid to an event that’s not meant for kids.

[mojogirl]

Since there's no other kids his age there and you're not there then I'm gonna side with dad. Nothing to do with being insecure about bf, it's just not the right venue for a 10yo.

[noitsmebecky]

Are you going to be at the party? I agree with ex that I don't think your son should be going off alone with your boyfriend at this juncture. He is not his Stepdad. Its your custody time-you should be spending time with your son in that time.

Now if you are also going-then its fine and your ex really has no leg to stand on.

If the roles were reversed would you let your ex's new girlfriend take him off somewhere alone? That would not bother you at all?

But I also think its time to have a good talk with your son about not telling his Dad every minor detail of your personal business when he is with you. Tell him that really Dad does not need to know what happens at your house and vice versa.

First of all, if my ex actually showed up for his visitation time and wanted to play house with the kids for a few hours I wouldn't be able to get them out the house fast enough. PLEASE take these kids for a few hours and parent them, I'm begging him lmao.

I wasn't going to go. I was going to do homework bc I have a paper due tomorrow and maybe catch up on some stuff from work.

I get what you're saying...but my ex has literally dropped my kids off two hours away at my boyfriends house bc he didn't want to watch them anymore. His job is driving for Lyft and apparently it was "surging" and he could make more money. I just couldn't leave work, it was his time and he is never flexible, which is his right...but he expects me to be flexible. So he asked, "Can i take them to Tony?" And then I found out he had texted Tony directly and TONY TOOK OFF WORK TO WATCH THEM. He drove them to another city in bad weather so he could do what he wanted to do on his time.

I'm honestly not sure who's "custody time" it is bc he hasn't taken his time in forever. He always has something come up or "has to work" to make money that certainly doesn't go to his children. He's supposed to have them every other weekend but will throw a fit and get mad at me, refuse to take them bc he thinks it fucks up my schedule and strains me but I'm an actual parent so I have back ups most of the time. Sometimes I have to take off work...but it is what it is. They're my kids. I have to do it bc he won't.

[noitsmebecky]

You just don’t take a kid to an all adult party. I’m sorry, I’m with your ex on that one. It’s not about whether or not it’s a “clean” party, it’s about respecting the other guests who are not expecting kids to be at that party. Also, your kid should know that there are situations when he cannot just go. It’s not personal, it’s just not appropriate to just bring a kid to an event that’s not meant for kids.

Well everyone was fine with him going. Tony asked. Our one friend had asked him last week if my son was coming bc my boyfriend takes him to do stuff all the time.

[noitsmebecky]

Are there usually kids there?

The friend that's hosting it has a girl DS's age. I think she just turned 11 or is just about to but she's at her mom's this weekend. I think the youngest one there is 13 or 14. I can't remember. It's one of our other's friend's stepsons.

[noitsmebecky]

You just don’t take a kid to an all adult party. I’m sorry, I’m with your ex on that one. It’s not about whether or not it’s a “clean” party, it’s about respecting the other guests who are not expecting kids to be at that party. Also, your kid should know that there are situations when he cannot just go. It’s not personal, it’s just not appropriate to just bring a kid to an event that’s not meant for kids.

Yeah I get what you're saying. No one has an issue with him being there. I think BF just wanted to spend time with him bc he's been working a lot and hasn't been around. They might decide to go to Greene Turtle or something and watch it.