Would you call DCF?

[Deleted User 670]

call the cops for a welfare check. If the cops see the filth, they'll call child protective services and take the child right away.

[Anonymous 1]

call the cops for a welfare check. If the cops see the filth, they'll call child protective services and take the child right away.

Can I do so confidentially? I am hoping not to ruin the relationship I have, because she confides in me and asks for help. Although she is putting in no effort I want to be able to keep an eye on the little girl.

[Anonymous 1]

I would report. If I liked the mother enough to help and my help would be appreciated I would offer to come baby proof the apartment for her. I also might help out with diapers occasionally etc. But the mom is probably getting assistance so my question is where is the money the tax payers are giving her going? That thickening stuff counts as medical supply thing so it would be paid for under TNcare or whatever that state has for kids health care.

The hard thing is we are all offering to help. I know her parents buy her diapers by the box. The thickening stuff could be covered, but you have to push for it and she doesn't. Her formula is already covered because the grandparents fought for that. I am trying to strengthen my relationship with mom for the sake of the little girl, but she doesn't follow through on anything. I have put on doorknob covers and put locks on her fridge and cabinets, but she takes them off and claims she never got them. I'm just afraid to report, because she was in the system for 2.5 years and they closed in the middle of this. I can't understand how they could close the case with all this going on and what if she gets the same social worker again? He did nothing.

So she has no excuse. People are trying to help her and she is figuratively slapping them in the face? Ungrateful B*tch. I would report and wash my hands of her.

We are all trying to help, but she will lie saying she hasn't received any thing. Just the other day she told me she didn't have any doorknob covers that fit her doors, but I know I have put on many myself and others have given them as well. If it were just her I would have nothing to do with her, but I worry about the little girl. I fear that unless the little girl is removed, reporting will cause her to shut down and make things worse.

[Anonymous 1]

If she's literally refusing help I might do it. I don't call DCF very lightly but in this case it sounds like it's necessary.

She's not exactly refusing help, but when you help she claims it's not the right help or that she never got it. She doesn't want diapers, she wants pull-ups, she wants brand specific wipes. The thickening stuff needs to be just right (brand, size), and those are personal preference not medical. She complains if the little girl is too tired/wound up if you take her for the day. There is no winning and no matter what she acts like the victim.

[Anonymous 1]

Go ahead call them, you know that's what you're itching to do anyway

Are you saying you wouldn't? I want to help her, and I really try, but nothing seems good enough for her. She doesn't want to grow and improve. I'm getting more and more concerned for the safety of the child. If you have other suggestions I would love to hear it. I want to set her up for success, but I just don't see her taking any initiative.

[RedBottoms]

OP would you take the little girl in yourself? You sound like you really care about her. If you think you could and would take her in-approach CPS yourself and talk to them about it.

The only downside is the mother will still be "around" and you may have to deal with her when she wants to visit etc but at least the little girl is being properly cared for

[Pjmm]

If she's literally refusing help I might do it. I don't call DCF very lightly but in this case it sounds like it's necessary.

She's not exactly refusing help, but when you help she claims it's not the right help or that she never got it. She doesn't want diapers, she wants pull-ups, she wants brand specific wipes. The thickening stuff needs to be just right (brand, size), and those are personal preference not medical. She complains if the little girl is too tired/wound up if you take her for the day. There is no winning and no matter what she acts like the victim.

It's something only you can answer on this. I personally do not call unless it is clear and very bad neglect.

[Anonymous 1]

OP would you take the little girl in yourself? You sound like you really care about her. If you think you could and would take her in-approach CPS yourself and talk to them about it.

The only downside is the mother will still be "around" and you may have to deal with her when she wants to visit etc but at least the little girl is being properly cared for

I would be happy to take her, but I know the grandparents would as well. This little girl is loved and wanted by many, the grandparents raised her for two years and they miss having her all the time. My fear is that they won't take her if I call or that she will just be tossed around more. She is not in a good place, but the state was involved until a few weeks ago and clearly didn't see a problem. She needs consistency and she just isn't getting it. I want to find a way so the mother doesn't know who called, but I worry she will work it out.

[Deleted User 670]

call the cops for a welfare check. If the cops see the filth, they'll call child protective services and take the child right away.

Can I do so confidentially? I am hoping not to ruin the relationship I have, because she confides in me and asks for help. Although she is putting in no effort I want to be able to keep an eye on the little girl.

Yes, I believe you can.

[RedBottoms]

call the cops for a welfare check. If the cops see the filth, they'll call child protective services and take the child right away.

Can I do so confidentially? I am hoping not to ruin the relationship I have, because she confides in me and asks for help. Although she is putting in no effort I want to be able to keep an eye on the little girl.

Yes, I believe you can.

you can report anonymously and with her life being as fucked up as it is-she probably knows multiple people who might report her so its not like she can pin it exactly on OP.