Arranged marriages in 2018

[Momto2boys973]

Actually, the vast majority of the marriages in my community are arranged and all are consensual, by both parties.
Maybe you look at the world with cynicism and prejudices and you really should sometimes talk to people from different cultures and try to understand how they live before jumping to judgments.

You certainly look at the world with innocent eyes. Arranged marriages are not consented to, they're enforced. The parents--in this situation, the fathers--make the agreement. Those no consenting; there's doing what they're told. This is a slippery slope.

Why would you think it demeans women but not men? After all, all of us agreeing with it are saying that it should be consensual on BOTH parts. If not, we’re not agreeing with that. If the conditions are the same for both parties, then why does it make only the woman a commodity?
And yeah. Assimilation makes life easier. It doesn’t necessarily make it better or happier, though. I’ve had both. My life may not be easier now, but it’s certainly a much better life than I had before. And actually, in many ways, it is also easier now that I think about it.

All you women agreeing with arranged marriage is a damn shame. Yeah, you (anyone) met ONE couple who was happy so you think everyone is happy. Hate to tell you this but this is how women were turned into commodities. You're (again, anyone) waaaay underestimating the consequences here.

And BTW, assimilation makes life so much easier.

[AllofFive19]

What’s wrong with arranged marriages? My marriage was arranged (not in 2018 though hehe). Dh and I are still very happily married 10+ years later with 5 beautiful children as are all of my siblings who also had arranged marriages (most of them have way more kids than me though). Of course they don’t work all the time but when you come from a culture in which arranged marriages happen it’s just the norm. I don’t find the secular way of dating to be any more right or wrong because secular people have different ideas of that versus the community I come from. What works for you doesn’t work for everyone and all that.

It takes away the right to choose. Therefore, it makes it inhuman, because people are playing god and taking away people's right to choose. No one should be forced to do something they don't want too.

There's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages. In an arranged marriage you can choose to say no.

[HaggardWitch]

By your own words, you implied living in an insular world. Perhaps you should talk to people from other cultures to know that a lot of them are against these type of practices. I wouldn't favor female "circumcision" or polygyny, but multicultural acceptance allows these disasters to enter the country.

Actually, the vast majority of the marriages in my community are arranged and all are consensual, by both parties.
Maybe you look at the world with cynicism and prejudices and you really should sometimes talk to people from different cultures and try to understand how they live before jumping to judgments.

You certainly look at the world with innocent eyes. Arranged marriages are not consented to, they're enforced. The parents--in this situation, the fathers--make the agreement. Those no consenting; there's doing what they're told. This is a slippery slope.

Why would you think it demeans women but not men? After all, all of us agreeing with it are saying that it should be consensual on BOTH parts. If not, we’re not agreeing with that. If the conditions are the same for both parties, then why does it make only the woman a commodity?
And yeah. Assimilation makes life easier. It doesn’t necessarily make it better or happier, though. I’ve had both. My life may not be easier now, but it’s certainly a much better life than I had before. And actually, in many ways, it is also easier now that I think about it.

[Momto2boys973]

Actually, no. I don’t live in an insular world. Socially, we do keep to our community, but we don’t live in a closed community. I’m out there in the city, like everyone else, dealing with people of other cultures. I have TV, computer, Internet, go to the movies and travel like everyone else. My husband works a secular job, has employees, suppliers and clients from all walks of life.

By your own words, you implied living in an insular world. Perhaps you should talk to people from other cultures to know that a lot of them are against these type of practices. I wouldn't favor female "circumcision" or polygyny, but multicultural acceptance allows these disasters to enter the country.

Actually, the vast majority of the marriages in my community are arranged and all are consensual, by both parties.
Maybe you look at the world with cynicism and prejudices and you really should sometimes talk to people from different cultures and try to understand how they live before jumping to judgments.

You certainly look at the world with innocent eyes. Arranged marriages are not consented to, they're enforced. The parents--in this situation, the fathers--make the agreement. Those no consenting; there's doing what they're told. This is a slippery slope.

[Deleted User 638]

I can respect that some cultures see nothing wrong with it. I won't pass judgment if neither person was pressured into it in any way.

[Bubbs]

As long as the right to say no is respected why is it always wrong?

Hell, I did such a shitty job finding a spouse, I’d probably trust someone else’s judgement over my own

[flowerfunleah]

I heard it's pretty common among the fundies.

[deltathree]

Can't believe these are still going on...

me either

[Ninjakids2.0]

What’s wrong with arranged marriages? My marriage was arranged (not in 2018 though hehe). Dh and I are still very happily married 10+ years later with 5 beautiful children as are all of my siblings who also had arranged marriages (most of them have way more kids than me though). Of course they don’t work all the time but when you come from a culture in which arranged marriages happen it’s just the norm. I don’t find the secular way of dating to be any more right or wrong because secular people have different ideas of that versus the community I come from. What works for you doesn’t work for everyone and all that.

It takes away the right to choose. Therefore, it makes it inhuman, because people are playing god and taking away people's right to choose. No one should be forced to do something they don't want too.

There's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages. In an arranged marriage you can choose to say no.

I’ve been reading the comments just to see how many people actually understand an arranged marriage. Turns out it’s fewer than I thought

[AllofFive19]

It takes away the right to choose. Therefore, it makes it inhuman, because people are playing god and taking away people's right to choose. No one should be forced to do something they don't want too.

There's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages. In an arranged marriage you can choose to say no.

I’ve been reading the comments just to see how many people actually understand an arranged marriage. Turns out it’s fewer than I thought

I think most people think of forced marriages and arranged marriages as the same thing. Now, given, it's not "normal" in America, but it's not uncommon either.