DD was expelled and I don't know why

[Anonymous 7]

Shed be moving out

[Anonymous 1]

time to change up your plans for her. If she stays in your home, she works full time and repays you last semester's lost $. she also pays rent and reasonable living costs (food/bills/car insurance etc) you and her dad figure out how to get that information from the school, or get it from her, discuss and address it. unless she flunked out there would have to be a solid reason for expulsion. schools do not just expel for vague reasons.

There is no way for us to get info from the school unless she gives permission. She said it is none of our business.

We live in a pretty high cost of living area so if we rent to her it is likely she will never leave. At least that is my concern. She already said she isn't getting a job. I feel trapped. Part of me thinks the only way is to kick her out but I'm worried about what would happen if I did.

so basically you think she has you by the curlies...

who pays her car insurance? who owns that damn car? who pays her phone? her internet? who gives her spending $$? that crap is a privilege not a right.

She has been paying her own way except for food. She has some savings from the job she was working near her college I am not sure how much she has left

[Anonymous 1]

Is it possible it was over drugs? If so, that needs to be your first focus.

I mean I guess it could be. I haven't noticed any signs of drug use but I didn't notice she was expelled either

What would you recommend I do? I doubt she would take a drug test if I asked

I read your other comment about her refusing to get a job. Everything combined makes me wonder if there might be a mental health issue contributing to the problem. I'm assuming this is out of character for her. You need some input from a professional before you proceed.

What kind of professional? Sorry I am clueless about that.

[Anonymous 1]

If she’s done nothing wrong she can fight being expelled. I find it odd she won’t say what happened.

I think it is because she did do something and doesnt want people to know

[Anonymous 1]

I do not think it has to do with mental issues but there is no way for me to know for sure

We have no history of it in our family and I havent seen any obvious signs but this is very out of character for her.

Yes. That's a shame about that med student. I hope she found a different career that she loves.

The bit about OP's daughter refusing to get a job...I would give this kid a moment to collect herself and then she'd be getting a job. Unless there's a obvious mental issue going on here, I don't know what I'd do if my daughter absolutely refused to get a job.

I wish OP would weigh in on whether or not that (re: mental issues) might be a possibility. Either way, it sounds like this girl needs help/guidance.

THIS! A thousand times...THIS!

I'd be willing to bet that this is precisely what happened with OP's DD, too! It happens more frequently than anyone would ever imagine.

Sometimes, kids just aren't ready for college. And sometimes they are ready but are just not good at it.Yes. It was wrong that the kid just stopped going to class and wasted mom/dad's money. But she did it. And now it's time to put this behind them and help this girl get settled into the NEW direction of her life. (And that should include eventually paying back mom/dad for the wasted semester at school.)

If I were OP, I might even allude to knowing that this what my DD did...so as to give the DD a path to "spilling the beans."

I think most of what happened with my friend's daughter was that she went pre-med and all she talked about was being a doctor and everyone was oh-so impressed. So to her way of thinking, something as mundane as D in biochem was the end of her world. It's a shame...if she'd have simply changed her major, she could have been one hell of a teacher.

But did you see the part where OP said DD is REFUSING to get a job? Oh dear...I think that little girl needs a hard lesson in how things work here on planet Earth.

[Anonymous 8]

My daughter knew a girl that was suspended for a semester because she was doing a web cam girl site. She was filming and posting them from her on campus dorm room. Since it was on university property it was in violation of university policy. She was immediately told to leave the dorms and school but was welcome back the following semester however could no longer live on university property or be a member of any university team. She never went back to that university as she was too embarrassed. She did however take a program at our community college.

Someone know why your daughter was suspended you just need to talk to the right people.

[Hot4Tchr-Bieg]

Yes. That's a shame about that med student. I hope she found a different career that she loves.

The bit about OP's daughter refusing to get a job...I would give this kid a moment to collect herself and then she'd be getting a job. Unless there's a obvious mental issue going on here, I don't know what I'd do if my daughter absolutely refused to get a job.

I wish OP would weigh in on whether or not that (re: mental issues) might be a possibility. Either way, it sounds like this girl needs help/guidance.

THIS! A thousand times...THIS!

I'd be willing to bet that this is precisely what happened with OP's DD, too! It happens more frequently than anyone would ever imagine.

Sometimes, kids just aren't ready for college. And sometimes they are ready but are just not good at it.Yes. It was wrong that the kid just stopped going to class and wasted mom/dad's money. But she did it. And now it's time to put this behind them and help this girl get settled into the NEW direction of her life. (And that should include eventually paying back mom/dad for the wasted semester at school.)

If I were OP, I might even allude to knowing that this what my DD did...so as to give the DD a path to "spilling the beans."

I think most of what happened with my friend's daughter was that she went pre-med and all she talked about was being a doctor and everyone was oh-so impressed. So to her way of thinking, something as mundane as D in biochem was the end of her world. It's a shame...if she'd have simply changed her major, she could have been one hell of a teacher.

But did you see the part where OP said DD is REFUSING to get a job? Oh dear...I think that little girl needs a hard lesson in how things work here on planet Earth.

Lol...it does make sense that one might need a moment to recover from a failed attempt to steal $19,000!!!

[Sassyfrass01]

If she refuses to tell you why she was expelled, refuses to get a job, and refuses to go to community college, and there is no disability that would prevent or complicate her getting a job then I'd say time to put your foot down, tell her she either gets a job, goes to Community College or she moves on.
time to let her sink or swim.

[Anonymous 9]

My daughter knew a girl that was suspended for a semester because she was doing a web cam girl site. She was filming and posting them from her on campus dorm room. Since it was on university property it was in violation of university policy. She was immediately told to leave the dorms and school but was welcome back the following semester however could no longer live on university property or be a member of any university team. She never went back to that university as she was too embarrassed. She did however take a program at our community college.

Someone know why your daughter was suspended you just need to talk to the right people.

So who would be the right people?

[Anonymous 8]

My daughter knew a girl that was suspended for a semester because she was doing a web cam girl site. She was filming and posting them from her on campus dorm room. Since it was on university property it was in violation of university policy. She was immediately told to leave the dorms and school but was welcome back the following semester however could no longer live on university property or be a member of any university team. She never went back to that university as she was too embarrassed. She did however take a program at our community college.

Someone know why your daughter was suspended you just need to talk to the right people.

So who would be the right people?

Parents of her friends, parents of classmates (if she knows them). Girls talk and she may have confided in one of her friends, or someone has seen a post of what happened on a social media site. She is getting no where with her daughter now is the time to go behind her back and find out through other means. My daughter was the one who told me about her friend. If the parent came to me and asked if I knew why her daughter was suspended, I would have said something.