Is "pregaming" rude?

[Anonymous 1]

I thought pregaming was just drinks, and there's nothing wrong with that, provided you can handle all that booze without getting sloppy. I think a group organizing to eat before going to somebody else's house to eat is pretty tacky.

Not everyone can wait until 8 pm to eat. I know I was hungry way before that

Then you have a snack at home before you go to the planned portion of the evening. And the "she was just jealous" line is ridiculous. You are a mother (I am assuming) and sound like a teenager. She wasn't jealous, she didn't feel like hosting people who felt the need to have a party before the party.
We "pregamed" in college but we just had a drink or two at home before going out. If we needed to eat we ate.

I didnt stop at home before going out.

We werent partying before the party. I had a couple beers and an appetizer, that isnt partying.

[Anonymous 6]

Let's call ORIGINAL HOST "Friend A."
And let's call the PRE-GAME SUGGESTER "Friend B."

By any chance, has FRIEND A, on more than one occasion, attempted to plan a party and when she did, FRIEND B came in and "tried to run the show" and "change things up" on her?

Because if FRIEND B has done this often to FRIEND A, I could see why FRIEND A might become a little annoyed.

[Anonymous 6]

If it is the case for you that you can't wait until 8pm to eat (and I don't blame you), I'd eat something at home before going to the party at 8pm.

Since the guests had already been informed that food/alcohol would be served at 8pm, I think it would be rude to then invite those same guests out for food/drink beforehand. IMO, it appears undermining.

If the conversation between you & all guests (but not hostess) went something like this: "Hey, guys! I can't wait until 8pm to eat. Do all of you just want to grab a bite and a few drinks earlier and then just meet up at hostess' house at 8:00?"...That's not cool...not to me, at least.

Is pregaming rude? No. Is eating before going to someone's house for a meal, making plan that they can't take part in, and telling them all about it, yes that's rude.

So would it have been better to make a group message without her? I doubt she would have liked that either.

Not everyone can wait until 8pm to eat. I cant go a whole 8 hours without eating during the day

[Anonymous 1]

I didnt even go home.

Everyone was bringing their own stuff so it wasnt really going to be served at any certain time.

I dont see what is wrong with that honestly. I didnt realize agreeing to go to someones house at a certain time meant I can not do anything before that. That seems so odd to me but I guess we are all different.

If it is the case for you that you can't wait until 8pm to eat (and I don't blame you), I'd eat something at home before going to the party at 8pm.

Since the guests had already been informed that food/alcohol would be served at 8pm, I think it would be rude to then invite those same guests out for food/drink beforehand. IMO, it appears undermining.

If the conversation between you & all guests (but not hostess) went something like this: "Hey, guys! I can't wait until 8pm to eat. Do all of you just want to grab a bite and a few drinks earlier and then just meet up at hostess' house at 8:00?"...That's not cool...not to me, at least.

Is pregaming rude? No. Is eating before going to someone's house for a meal, making plan that they can't take part in, and telling them all about it, yes that's rude.

So would it have been better to make a group message without her? I doubt she would have liked that either.

Not everyone can wait until 8pm to eat. I cant go a whole 8 hours without eating during the day

[Lolabearlow]

I’ve never heard that term but how much food and how many drinks do you need in one night?

I got an appetizer and a couple beers at the pub before and then had a couple slices of pizza and more beer later. It wasnt like we were having full course meals at both places and no one was super drunk or anything. Everyone was home by 11. Overall we are pretty tame in comparison to when I was younger and in college lol.

I’ve never heard of anyone over maybe 23 doing that... most people realize that a couple of beers is enough for the evening and if someone invites you to share a meal at their home- you are there for the meal. If the time doesn’t suit you, either skip the event or throw some crackers in your purse. How where you getting place to place?

[RedBottoms]

I’ve never heard that term but how much food and how many drinks do you need in one night?

I got an appetizer and a couple beers at the pub before and then had a couple slices of pizza and more beer later. It wasnt like we were having full course meals at both places and no one was super drunk or anything. Everyone was home by 11. Overall we are pretty tame in comparison to when I was younger and in college lol.

I’ve never heard of anyone over maybe 23 doing that... most people realize that a couple of beers is enough for the evening and if someone invites you to share a meal at their home- you are there for the meal. If the time doesn’t suit you, either skip the event or throw some crackers in your purse. How where you getting place to place?

I am 38 and I do it. For going out to a bar or club I definitely pregame so I don't have to overpay for as many drinks

[Lolabearlow]

I got an appetizer and a couple beers at the pub before and then had a couple slices of pizza and more beer later. It wasnt like we were having full course meals at both places and no one was super drunk or anything. Everyone was home by 11. Overall we are pretty tame in comparison to when I was younger and in college lol.

I’ve never heard of anyone over maybe 23 doing that... most people realize that a couple of beers is enough for the evening and if someone invites you to share a meal at their home- you are there for the meal. If the time doesn’t suit you, either skip the event or throw some crackers in your purse. How where you getting place to place?

I am 38 and I do it. For going out to a bar or club I definitely pregame so I don't have to overpay for as many drinks

But before going to dinner at a friends house?

[RedBottoms]

I’ve never heard of anyone over maybe 23 doing that... most people realize that a couple of beers is enough for the evening and if someone invites you to share a meal at their home- you are there for the meal. If the time doesn’t suit you, either skip the event or throw some crackers in your purse. How where you getting place to place?

I am 38 and I do it. For going out to a bar or club I definitely pregame so I don't have to overpay for as many drinks

But before going to dinner at a friends house?

depends. If there is going to be drinking when we get there-sure I may not need to pregame.If they don't allow me to drink there-then I might have a few before I show up.

I am the type that goes weeks without a single drink but when its adult socializing time-I get turnt and will have a lot. But I never puke or get sloppy or anything.I can hold my liquor. But I like some social lubrication.

[KendallsMom]

Nah..

Do what you gotta do.

[Anonymous 6]

I thought you said in your original post that this girl was hosting beer and pizza at her house at 8:00. If everyone was bringing their own stuff to this party, why would they be eating beforehand? I agree with the hostess' sentiment that whoever it was that planned an "eating/drinking get together" 1.5 hours prior to her "eating/drinking get together" was rude.

You mentioned that this hostess said "all this other BS." What was the other BS that she said?

Was she included in the pre-gaming discussions? Or did she only learn of the plans for the group to eat elsewhere before her party AFTER they all had agreed to do so?

Something about how this went down appears "not cool" to me.

I didnt even go home.

Everyone was bringing their own stuff so it wasnt really going to be served at any certain time.

I dont see what is wrong with that honestly. I didnt realize agreeing to go to someones house at a certain time meant I can not do anything before that. That seems so odd to me but I guess we are all different.

If it is the case for you that you can't wait until 8pm to eat (and I don't blame you), I'd eat something at home before going to the party at 8pm.

Since the guests had already been informed that food/alcohol would be served at 8pm, I think it would be rude to then invite those same guests out for food/drink beforehand. IMO, it appears undermining.

If the conversation between you & all guests (but not hostess) went something like this: "Hey, guys! I can't wait until 8pm to eat. Do all of you just want to grab a bite and a few drinks earlier and then just meet up at hostess' house at 8:00?"...That's not cool...not to me, at least.

So would it have been better to make a group message without her? I doubt she would have liked that either.

Not everyone can wait until 8pm to eat. I cant go a whole 8 hours without eating during the day