SIL showed up at DD's bday party when she knew she wasn't allowed

[Momto2boys973]

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

I have not personally seen her be physically violent but she has been towards others. She's been arrested multiple times for assault and battery and has physically hurt BIL more than once.

It’s not self righteousness.
How would YOU feel if you were alienated because of something you have no control over but are trying to deal with? OP didn’t say her SIL was an actual threat, just that a couple of her personalities scream profanities. OMG, the horror.

So what if someone suffers from epilepsy and if they have a seizure, the kids get “scared”? Is it OK then to alienate that family member? Or if they’re diabetic and have sudden crisis? Or have Tourette’s? At what point is “the kids are scared” no longer a good excuse to alienate a loved one who’s trying to seek help?

Why would it be OK to explain to children’s that someone suddenly bursting in violent seizures is just a disease and they shouldn’t be scared, but have compassion and help them, but if that person bursts into cursing because they have multiple personality disorder, it has to
be hidden from them and the person should be ostracized and vilified?

Ignore the self righteous hypocrites. Your kids' safety trumps your SIL's hurt feelings.

[Anonymous 4]

I teach my kids not to be scared of mental illness but you do you.

[Anonymous 1]

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

I have not personally seen her be physically violent but she has been towards others. She's been arrested multiple times for assault and battery and has physically hurt BIL more than once.

It’s not self righteousness.
How would YOU feel if you were alienated because of something you have no control over but are trying to deal with? OP didn’t say her SIL was an actual threat, just that a couple of her personalities scream profanities. OMG, the horror.

So what if someone suffers from epilepsy and if they have a seizure, the kids get “scared”? Is it OK then to alienate that family member? Or if they’re diabetic and have sudden crisis? Or have Tourette’s? At what point is “the kids are scared” no longer a good excuse to alienate a loved one who’s trying to seek help?

Why would it be OK to explain to children’s that someone suddenly bursting in violent seizures is just a disease and they shouldn’t be scared, but have compassion and help them, but if that person bursts into cursing because they have multiple personality disorder, it has to
be hidden from them and the person should be ostracized and vilified?

[Momto2boys973]

Oh, wouldn’t that be great! What a wonderful opportunity to show my kids empathy and kindness. If she’s willing to travel here, I’d be more than happy to have her for dinner. My kids know about mental illness, aren’t that easily scared and just in case, I would hire a nurse for the evening if there was a need for it.

You don’t have to explain the actual condition in medical terms. You just have to explain that auntie is sick and she can’t control her outbursts, but that she’s seeing a doctor to help her and is trying to get better, but sometimes it still happens and there’s nothing to be scared of because mommy and daddy will be right there to be sure there’s no harm done. I would tell them that we can help her get better by loving her and being kind and not blame her for her situation in much the same way we can’t blame someone who has a bad tummy from throwing up.

How would you explain DID to a 4 year old?

Just curious.

Invite her to your house for dinner then.

[Momto2boys973]

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

And it’s so funny how neither you or the only one cheering you on cared to answer my question. Let me ask it again:

Why would it be OK to explain to children’s that someone suddenly bursting in violent seizures is just a disease and they shouldn’t be scared, but have compassion and help them, but if that person bursts into cursing because they have multiple personality disorder, it has to be hidden from them and the person should be ostracized and vilified?

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

I have not personally seen her be physically violent but she has been towards others. She's been arrested multiple times for assault and battery and has physically hurt BIL more than once.

[Anonymous 1]

My kids have been around other mentally ill people with no problem. You just like to make a lot of random assumptions

The fact is that my SIL is unpredictable and it is a risk to have her around my children. Yes my mind is made up, I never asked for opinions or with help deciding.

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

[Anonymous 1]

My kids have been around other mentally ill people with no problem. You just like to make a lot of random assumptions

The fact is that my SIL is unpredictable and it is a risk to have her around my children. Yes my mind is made up, I never asked for opinions or with help deciding.

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

[Anonymous 1]

My kids have been around other mentally ill people with no problem. You just like to make a lot of random assumptions

The fact is that my SIL is unpredictable and it is a risk to have her around my children. Yes my mind is made up, I never asked for opinions or with help deciding.

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

[Anonymous 1]

My kids have been around other mentally ill people with no problem. You just like to make a lot of random assumptions

The fact is that my SIL is unpredictable and it is a risk to have her around my children. Yes my mind is made up, I never asked for opinions or with help deciding.

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.

But not towards your kids, right?
Because if you truly cared to educate yourself about her condition, you’ll nowadays that’s just a a with most human beings, the alternate personalities are pretty set and predictable. It’s not as if the alternate personalities can suddenly start acting in an uncharacteristic way, just as you wouldn’t suddenly start doing it or I would start doing it. If none of her personalities has shown a proclivity to get violent with children, then she won’t. Regardless of how nasty and potty mouth she gets. There are people out there who are tough and turn violent in a bar, but wouldn’t kick a dog if it pissed on them.

And still, why assume that it will be a disaster? Can’t you give her the chance to participate in a family event without automatically assuming that she’ll have an episode and scare your kids beyond repair?

[Momto2boys973]

So why did you post this then? What was your intention by sharing this information with us? I mean, you must have a reason why you thought this information was worth sharing with a bunch of strangers on the internet, right?
Because it seems to me that if it’s not to ask for advice, then you did it to look for pats in the back. You’re looking for people to support and validate your actions. Probably because a very small, silent part of you knows it’s pretty lousy. You need the reassurance.
Well, lucky you, one did it for you! Now you’re free to ignore all the others who don’t. I’m sure your conscience is clear big.
Toodles!

My kids have been around other mentally ill people with no problem. You just like to make a lot of random assumptions

The fact is that my SIL is unpredictable and it is a risk to have her around my children. Yes my mind is made up, I never asked for opinions or with help deciding.

Well, then you’ve made up your mind. Hopefully mental illness or disability won’t happen to you because you’re teaching your kids that’s good reason to dump someone and hurt them.

I have educated myself about her disorder. No not towards my kids but she always has the potential to be physically aggressive. She attacked her own husband.

She participated in multiple family events before we made the decision. There was an issue every time.