This was always a topic that became controversial on cafemom lol

[Guest]

DH & I were having S*x as teens,so we have been realistic with our girls. When they both were ready, they got birth control. In fact the 18 yr old is having an IUD put in this week.

We cover the health ins for her. She pays the copays.

[SisterSomeone]

I think it's normal and natural for teenagers to have S*x. I don't oppose it, I don't try to fight it, I don't bury my head in the sand regarding its existence. I preach being smart about it and always kneeling at the altar of the holy condom, NO exceptions. That's all I ever really intended to do about the matter. Most teenagers have S*x, and anyone who really wants to have S*x will find an opportunity sooner or later. I'm not going to waste my time fighting something natural and inevitable.

[Guest]

I had S*x as a teenager and had my kid right before I turned 20. In not naive and teenage S*x is a real and common thing. I educated my DD as well as I could but the decision was up to her. She's been on BC since she was 14 for her horrible periods. Like doubled over in bed in tears for days. My ex thought she only wanted it for S*x but no. She'd have hers for 4-6 weeks at a time and was anemic. But besides that, again her choice. I wasn't happy when she did become sexually active but I knew she didn't just rely on her pills. She was smart about it and came to me with any concerns. She's now almost 19 and lives with her bf who the entire family loves, so much so that her dad got him hired on. They're basically engaged. They both want kids but she told him that wasn't happening till she graduated college (on track to graduate a year early) and has been in her job at least a year or 2. They got a dog a few months ago and omg that thing is their baby and beyond spoiled. I'm glad she's pragmatic about the right timeframe but a lot of teenagers aren't like that. Hormones are insane so just protect them and educate them as much as you can.

Similar situation here.

[mommeruchy]

I don’t think about this at all really. I live in a community in which premarital S*x is highly frowned upon and it doesn’t really happen.

Where is this?

Not really a specific place. I just use community to mean like-minded people. I live in NY and I’m a Hasidic Jew but this is the sentiment for most, if not all, Orthodox Jews across the spectrum.

[LiveWhatULove]

I will continue our family tradition of generations, just don’t think about your children having S*x. La dee da dee da.

Actually my current plan, raising the boys to be geeky gamers, which should prevent teen S*x until college, when they will look more attractive as due to their income potential.

My DD will be put on birth control to regulate her periods & help with acne by age 12.
If any male comes hanging around, I will have her older brothers come visit him and threaten him bodily harm as well.

Haha!

I really hope you are just kidding. You will force BC on a 12 year old? Not every girl has problems or such bad acne they need BC. I'm sorry but I would never force my kid to take hormones if they didn't absolutely need them. And the whole brother angle?

Of course I am joking, hence the haha! At the end.

But With that said, hormones are not evil. The are benefits & risks. Just as there are risks of monthly menses and pregnancy.

[agander2017]

I waited until I was married, but I know that's not going to happen with every person. While I hope my son waits, I'm not going to count on it. I will educate him on the importance of safety if he's going to have S*x. Not just pregnancy, but STD's as well. I will tell him if he is thinking about having S*x, to tell me so I can make sure he has the protection.

While I don't condone premarital S*x, I'm not stupid enough to think he is going to feel the same way. I know he might be different, but I also want him to know he can come to me if he's considering it. If he gets his girlfriend pregnant, then we will have to figure out how to deal with it. I don't believe in abortion, but adoption would be okay if they chose to go that route. However, it would be his responsibility, and hers as well. I wouldn't be paying for everything for baby, and I wouldn't be a drop in baby sitter whenever they needed one. They would have to work all of that out on their own. They made the choice to have S*x, and knew the consequences.

[owl0210]

I had S*x when I was a teen and put on birth control. I will do the same for my children because I’m not oblivious to the fact that they will be having S*x. If either of them were dealing with an unwanted pregnancy I would pay for an abortion.

[Guest]

A lot of teens are going to f**k. I just want them to use protection and with that I mean condoms double up with pull out and BCP or depo etc.

I would prefer they not sleep around a ton as that can damage a reputation and cause emotional issues-but sleeping with a boyfriend or girlfriend you are committed to is fine.

I will provide condoms.

If my sons got a girl pregnant I would encourage abortion or adoption and offer to pay for pregnancy related fees if they did adoption or the abortion. If she wanted to have it-then I would let her know what us as a family can provide as far as money and support and she can take it or leave it I suppose. My son would still finish school and go to college etc. I would not be a live in babysitter and watch the kid all the time nor would we be an ATM machine. But we can help some.

If your son knocked up a girl it wouldn't be up to you how much support she got it would be up to a judge. Your over inflated sense of importance is annoying.

[msgme]

I had lots and lots and lots of conversations and still do with them even tho 2 are adults. my sons first girlfriend was pregnant with her 2nd child when they met. he was 15 she was 16. that and his personal religious beliefs have led him to decide to wait until marriage. She was also the only semi serious relationship he has had. even knowing his opinion i made sure he had access to protection and we still had lots of conversations. My older dd due to other circumstances she was very supervised until she left for college but she also had the same access to protection that her brother had. lots of conversations and she knew if she wanted I would of taken her for birth control. she was 17 when she left for college and thankfully she remembered to stay safe. She's 19 now and i do pay for her birth control. My youngest I've done the same with however she is dating a girl so pregnancy is not a current concern. but that open communication is important.

[nmkj]

I'm not okay with it but I'm not naive that it doesn't happen. I had S*x at 17. I guess I'm a hypocrite then but I really want different for my kids. I want them educated on how to be safe, not abstinence. I want them to be able to have an open conversation about it with me. My parents didn't do that.