Her things are gone

[Anonymous 8]

We tidy up bedrooms daily so that it doesn’t become overwhelming. All toys are picked up and put away after dinner, before getting ready for bed. All dirty clothes get thrown in the hamper to be washed. When things become cluttered I help my kids go through their things to declutter or help them find a place for it. Their rooms get messy when they play but they are picked up at the end of every day. It takes 10 minutes max. If it ever becomes more than that then they have too much stuff. They also are not allowed to eat in their rooms. So no worries about food residue or dirty dishes. Picking up is part of our daily routine from day one. If they go off task I redirect them. If the mess is overwhelming we break it down into smaller tasks.

[WickedPissah]

As long as there is no clutter and he can get to his bed. Not a hill I'm going to die on.

[scemily526]

THIS.

I wish my daughter had kept her bedroom clean. Her messiness drove me nuts. Instead of wasting any more time battling with her to clean it, I followed the advice like pinkbutterfly66 mentioned. I CLOSED HER DOOR.

Maybe giving up and not worrying about her mess makes me a weak parent. Or maybe it makes me a wise one. I say as pinkbutterfly66 says, "PICK YOUR BATTLES." If the worst thing your child does is keep an unkempt room, I'd say things are going pretty well.

That's dumb. Just close her door if you cannot stand the clutter. You picked a really, really, really, tiny hill to die on. What are you going to do when she really does something that you need to punish? Kick her out on the street? Put a chain around her ankle and padlock her to a radiator?

and THIS too....if the girl is otherwise well behaved, what's the big deal on HER room? SHUT THE DOOR, and don't look at it..
Focus on the GOOD stuff she does...

[Linda_Runs]

For the past 2 weeks, we have both been getting on SD9 to clean her room. Nothing major. Just pick up the toys on the floor and whatever she shoved under the bed. Simple.

For the past 2 weeks she has refused.

DH and I both came down with some type of virus (not the flu, idk what this was) and it knocked us out for a good week and a half, so we didn't have the energy to fight her about it.

But every time she'd just sit in her room and absolutely refuse to do anything. Just sat there doing nothing at all.

So now that we've recovered, we're done.

We just got done going in her room with boxes. We removed every single toy she had in there and every single thing she could use for entertainment.

This is an ongoing battle with her to keep her room tidy. Everything has a place, and we aren't super strict about it being in place. Basically just don't have your floor covered in toys and don't shove things under your bed or dresser and we're good. But she still refuses.

It's gone now for a month. Maybe she'll finally learn. I am just sick of not being able to vacuum in there or even walk because the floor is covered with toys.

I am totally there right now this week with my two girls. They are totally grounded from last Sunday to this Sunday.

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[Murdoc's Mistress]

My kid's room looks like a hurricane aftermath. If she wants to live like that, go for it. As long as it doesn't migrate to rest of the house. I have enough on my plate with her as it is...her bedroom is the last thing I care about.

[RedBottoms]

If she refuses to clean her room which is an age appropriate request-then you have every right to enact a consequence

[Anonymous 9]

If she refuses to clean her room which is an age appropriate request-then you have every right to enact a consequence

On that I agree. I have a messiness limit and when they meet it they'd better damn well clean their rooms. If it's getting to the point that I'm concerned they have hoarding tendencies they're doing it. I once cleaned ods' room and that was enough to convince him he doesn't want me doing that. Yds doesn't care very much if I take his things. I do better helping him organize. Op wanted her to do something. She refused. Op has every right to do something about that. But two people close to me are hoarders so I may be more concerned than most.

[Anonymous 9]

THIS.

I wish my daughter had kept her bedroom clean. Her messiness drove me nuts. Instead of wasting any more time battling with her to clean it, I followed the advice like pinkbutterfly66 mentioned. I CLOSED HER DOOR.

Maybe giving up and not worrying about her mess makes me a weak parent. Or maybe it makes me a wise one. I say as pinkbutterfly66 says, "PICK YOUR BATTLES." If the worst thing your child does is keep an unkempt room, I'd say things are going pretty well.

That's dumb. Just close her door if you cannot stand the clutter. You picked a really, really, really, tiny hill to die on. What are you going to do when she really does something that you need to punish? Kick her out on the street? Put a chain around her ankle and padlock her to a radiator?

and THIS too....if the girl is otherwise well behaved, what's the big deal on HER room? SHUT THE DOOR, and don't look at it..
Focus on the GOOD stuff she does...

I tried that. She began sneaking food into her room and leaving it there, along with garbage. She also started leaving nasty dirty clothes in her room instead of walking next door to the bathroom and throwing them down the chute. She knew her room wasn't being monitored so she took advantage of that.

Never again.

[Linda_Runs]

My kid's room looks like a hurricane aftermath. If she wants to live like that, go for it. As long as it doesn't migrate to rest of the house. I have enough on my plate with her as it is...her bedroom is the last thing I care about.

I know what you mean. With my husband being deployed, my very busy job these days and school things, I also have much on my plate. My two girls are actually grounded for behaviour, not their rooms.

[RedBottoms]

I refuse to let any room in my house be consistently a hot mess. We are remodeling now so that rule is currently suspended lol but in general-having clothes all over the floor and candy wrappers laying everywhere and stuff like that is not allowed anywhere in the house. The room needs to be picked up enough for me to dust and vacuum in there

So no, having a kid keep a room a super big mess is not okay with me. I don't blame Op for wanting it at least picked up with trash thrown away and dirty clothes in the hamper and clean clothes put away etc