Now that she had her baby SM is constantly bitching about my kids having their own rooms

[Anonymous 1]

Being fake nice doesnt take away from her past and current actions

I wouldn't take child support from him

And you don’t think it was less tense for her to be nice and say please rather than call you and the kids names?
I’m starting to think that you were anticipating this would happen and it would give you an excuse to file for full custody. You know if you file for full custody he will have to make child support payments. That doesn’t have at least a little bit to do with all this? Hmm?

She saw them as spoiled brats from the day she moved into the house. Asking nicely after talking shit for a long time doesnt mean she was actually being nice. She was just using the words please and thank you instead of calling me a bitch and my kids douchebags

Do you see the tension created over something so silly. You said before that she was asking nicely. Now you and your kids have gotten her to this point where she is seeing them as spoiled brats. That’s the tension I was talking about. You helped create it now fix it.

[BionicBunny]

I’m pretty sure that’s what she wants. And with 50/50 custody there is no child support, usually. So I’m sure she will try for full custody like she mentioned before and probably go for child support.

You seem to have no problem defending your children's wants. If that's what they want, take it to court and have them stay with you. Problem solved.

At 15 and 16 years old, I'm sure they don't feel like been carted back and forth between one week at mom's and then the next week at dad's. Get the custody situation changed. Problem solved.

You love to make shit up

No one is saying he won't ever see the kids. They still want to go there just not sleep there

Forced to AFTER his circumstances changed. Again with that really hard concept to comprehend. When you both agreed to it in the CO his circumstances were different. He could afford to do that. Things change, now he can’t so his opinion about how important it is changed. After all, it wasn’t a big deal to force her kids to give up their rooms and share so that your snowflake kes wouldn’t have to.
By now he is indeed being forced to agree if he wants to see his children. But you’re already planning to take that away from him too, poor guy. I guess him having another baby really fanned that bitterness.

[Anonymous 1]

They have been trying to work with him

I am not bitching at them.

It is never okay to intentionally bitch at children IMO. They dont have control over any of this.

Well... in the same world that it’s OK for you to be a bitch to your ex and his wife, I guess
I honestly can’t blame her for being resentful. She’s probably doing better than I would if I had to sacrifice a nursery for my baby over 2 spoiled brats and their bitter mommy.

Sure they do....they are damn near adults. They could have offered to share a room. They could have come to their dad with suggestions like converting a dining room into an additional bedroom. They do have a say. Hell they could say "mom, we are okay sharing at dad's house." All mature responses from almost adult children.
And they are SOL when it comes to college. Dorm rooms are tiny and involve sharing. Most first apartments are tiny and involve sharing.

[sheramom4]

They have been trying to work with him

I am not bitching at them.

It is never okay to intentionally bitch at children IMO. They dont have control over any of this.

Sure they do....they are damn near adults. They could have offered to share a room. They could have come to their dad with suggestions like converting a dining room into an additional bedroom. They do have a say. Hell they could say "mom, we are okay sharing at dad's house." All mature responses from almost adult children.
And they are SOL when it comes to college. Dorm rooms are tiny and involve sharing. Most first apartments are tiny and involve sharing.

So they have offered to share? They have suggested changing up another room in the house? It sounds like their only suggestion has been that the young kids be allowed to use their rooms half the time which sounds like a recipe for disaster. I can imagine what your teens would do the first time a preschooler messed up something in the room. And I am sure you would be prepared to sue SM for whatever precious item it was that her kids dared to touch.

[Anonymous 1]

These rooms have been the same rooms my kids have had their whole lives they have never been their step siblings rooms.

My 2 issues are these:
First, SMs kids live there full time. So in reality the “owners” of the rooms were those kids. And yet, they were forced to give up their rooms to share between them so that the kids that are only there half the time have their own room. Sorry, that’s not fair on any household. The only reason those kids are forced to do that is OPs “court order” that she hangs on to as if it was gospel.
And second, OPs attitude. She could understand that circumstances have changed for her ex and have a more understanding attitude, talk to her children about having to make a little sacrifice and how it’s not that big of a deal. Instead, she chose to hang on the her court order as if her life depended on it and chose to make the living situation there uncomfortable and complicated. She’s coming off as petty, bitter and vindictive.
She holds all the cards and instead of using them to promote a better relationship and an easier time for them all, she’s using to screw up her ex and his new wife and create resentment in her children.

I think she is saying that her kids are 1 boy and 1 girl.

Well I wouldn't want two opposite S*x teen siblings to share a room although I have with my brother temporally in hotels and such. It's not a big deal. But the toddler can go with the baby or the pre-k kids can double up. Not sure why this is such an issue but whatever.

[BionicBunny]

Oh I’m sure she doesn’t like you or the kids and has to be fake nice. I’m sure she resents you and the kids for making things so difficult in their home. That’s going to come out in her attitude and your kids will be the ones paying for it.

Being fake nice doesnt take away from her past and current actions

I wouldn't take child support from him

And you don’t think it was less tense for her to be nice and say please rather than call you and the kids names?
I’m starting to think that you were anticipating this would happen and it would give you an excuse to file for full custody. You know if you file for full custody he will have to make child support payments. That doesn’t have at least a little bit to do with all this? Hmm?

She saw them as spoiled brats from the day she moved into the house. Asking nicely after talking shit for a long time doesnt mean she was actually being nice. She was just using the words please and thank you instead of calling me a bitch and my kids douchebags

[BionicBunny]

How?

They have been trying to work with him

I am not bitching at them.

It is never okay to intentionally bitch at children IMO. They dont have control over any of this.

Sure they do....they are damn near adults. They could have offered to share a room. They could have come to their dad with suggestions like converting a dining room into an additional bedroom. They do have a say. Hell they could say "mom, we are okay sharing at dad's house." All mature responses from almost adult children.
And they are SOL when it comes to college. Dorm rooms are tiny and involve sharing. Most first apartments are tiny and involve sharing.

[Anonymous 1]

She can have a nursery for her baby. Your kids just won't come over anymore. Because that's what you want right? For your kids to only want you and not see their dad. f**k him and his new wife.

What I think would be best is if they go to their dads like normal but just come to my house to sleep.

My ex isn't okay with that

[Anonymous 1]

They have been trying to work with him

Sure they do....they are damn near adults. They could have offered to share a room. They could have come to their dad with suggestions like converting a dining room into an additional bedroom. They do have a say. Hell they could say "mom, we are okay sharing at dad's house." All mature responses from almost adult children.
And they are SOL when it comes to college. Dorm rooms are tiny and involve sharing. Most first apartments are tiny and involve sharing.

So they have offered to share? They have suggested changing up another room in the house? It sounds like their only suggestion has been that the young kids be allowed to use their rooms half the time which sounds like a recipe for disaster. I can imagine what your teens would do the first time a preschooler messed up something in the room. And I am sure you would be prepared to sue SM for whatever precious item it was that her kids dared to touch.

Yes to other rooms. There is a basement that they won't finish

They would prefer to spend time at dads and come just to my house to sleep

[Anonymous 2]

Other than allowing the other children to borrow their room every other week, what have they suggested?

They have been trying to work with him

I am not bitching at them.

It is never okay to intentionally bitch at children IMO. They dont have control over any of this.

Sure they do....they are damn near adults. They could have offered to share a room. They could have come to their dad with suggestions like converting a dining room into an additional bedroom. They do have a say. Hell they could say "mom, we are okay sharing at dad's house." All mature responses from almost adult children.
And they are SOL when it comes to college. Dorm rooms are tiny and involve sharing. Most first apartments are tiny and involve sharing.