Body odor

[Anonymous 1]

How is your relationship with your brother now? Does he still smell? It makes me feel bad that I feel this way but it's just facts. And how you describe your brother's strong odor reminds me of my dd's boyfriend...the smell definitely lingers and then when she is at his house, she comes home smelling like him. I hate it! I told her yesterday that she smells like him and so she took a shower. Just even from him hugging her I know gets his smell all over her.

Limit your contact with him......light a couple candles or turn on scent warmers before he arrives to your house and for the duration of while he's there. Encourage them to spend time outside in the backyard. Clean after he leaves. Limit what you say to him but if your kid starts smelling like him say something to her.

I grew up with a brother that stunk....(combination medical issue and bad hygiene) and I didn't even want to admit we were related. Everyone thought we were twins because we were in the same grade but he simply failed first grade and was held back. It was so bad I could go to the mall 3 hours after he had left and STILL know every store he stopped in by the smell lingering. It permeated everything he owned. From his shoes to his clothes and anything he owned. I'm still traumatized by it.

My eldest's best friend also has an odor.....not nearly as bad as my brother, much more mild, but definitely enough that I avoid being in the same room sometimes. Not Body odor per say more like musty/mildew....like clothes that didn't get dried in the laundry completely and were still slightly damp and left in a pile in a laundry basket for a month. It's not all the time though and I know its a result of different medications he's on because of a GI issue where he can't eat certain foods.

[Anonymous 1]

Yeah that is a good idea. I suggested that she get him some cologne or something for a gift sometime but she didn't want to. That's the thing...his smell doesn't really bother her. She has only smelled him a few times but every time I see him or she has been around him, I smell the strong odor. She went with him to the store recently and he bought body wash so I'm pretty sure he uses it.

My daughter has a boyfriend (he is 17) and he is a very sweet guy. But I swear he smells sooooo bad! My dd says she only smells him every now and then. When they first started dating, someone they both know told my DD that he smells. I thought that was so rude of that person to say that, but I know why she said it...because he does! Any advice? I mean, I don't think me nor my DD can or will say anything to him about it. Anyone been in a similar situation?

In my experience positive reinforcement works better than negative. Any time he smells "better" than usual, your daughter could compliment him with a "hmm, you smell good today, is that a new soap?" or something similar. That would let him know she cares, and reacts well to being groomed.

[Anonymous 1]

6 months

How long have they been together?

[Baconqueen13]

How is your relationship with your brother now? Does he still smell? It makes me feel bad that I feel this way but it's just facts. And how you describe your brother's strong odor reminds me of my dd's boyfriend...the smell definitely lingers and then when she is at his house, she comes home smelling like him. I hate it! I told her yesterday that she smells like him and so she took a shower. Just even from him hugging her I know gets his smell all over her.

Limit your contact with him......light a couple candles or turn on scent warmers before he arrives to your house and for the duration of while he's there. Encourage them to spend time outside in the backyard. Clean after he leaves. Limit what you say to him but if your kid starts smelling like him say something to her.

I grew up with a brother that stunk....(combination medical issue and bad hygiene) and I didn't even want to admit we were related. Everyone thought we were twins because we were in the same grade but he simply failed first grade and was held back. It was so bad I could go to the mall 3 hours after he had left and STILL know every store he stopped in by the smell lingering. It permeated everything he owned. From his shoes to his clothes and anything he owned. I'm still traumatized by it.

My eldest's best friend also has an odor.....not nearly as bad as my brother, much more mild, but definitely enough that I avoid being in the same room sometimes. Not Body odor per say more like musty/mildew....like clothes that didn't get dried in the laundry completely and were still slightly damp and left in a pile in a laundry basket for a month. It's not all the time though and I know its a result of different medications he's on because of a GI issue where he can't eat certain foods.

I haven't talked to him since 2011. Partially because I moved across the country and partly because he could never keep his phone active (would miss payments, have the number disconnected, get a new number, never inform anyone.) Oh and he picked up smoking which just adds to the odor...Last I heard he still has weekly Sunday Night Dinners with my parents (whom I have pretty much disowned and have limited contact with). I'm pretty sure he's high functioning autistic but my parent's "didn't believe in that (he just needed to apply himself more)" which probably contributed to his odor issues as he's oblivious to things like washing his bed sheets. Oh and it all started with his feet too. Not just a fungal issue but bacteria on the skin cells as well and it spread to everything he owned.

[Baconqueen13]

My dd goes to his house quite often (something I have allowed more because his smell really bothers me) and my DD says she has seen him apply deodorant and that he does his laundry and stuff sometimes when she is there. His feet/shoes are horrid as well and that is something my DD says she smells a lot. I smelled his feet one time when he took his shoes off at our house and it was AWFUL! I said nothing though.

It's such a tricky situation because you can't tell why he smells. I'm willing to bet he lives in a hoarder household or that he doesn't have access to a clean, fully working bathroom. Offer to wash his clothes. Buy him colognes. Set up his own personal drawer or whatever in your bathroom so that he can shower/brush his teeth while he's there. Don't tell him he smells. Just tell him to make himself at home and offer to wash his laundry, like you would if he were your kid.

Sounds like a foot fungus/bacteria issue.....He needs to buy new shoes and switch them like every 3 months and change his socks often like 2 or 3 times a day

[Anonymous 1]

I haven't spoken to either of my parents (who are still married if that matters) in 10 years! Our new neighbor last night was saying he hasn't spoken to his dad for 15 years and then they were talking about some other family members they haven't spoken to and I just blurted it out about my estrangement from my parents. I don't tell a lot of people about it. I have never seen you talk about your parents or brother on here before although I am not on here a lot. Any reason(s) you don't speak to your parents...I mean, of course there are! No child wants estrangement. One of our neighbor's cousins doesn't speak to her parents either. I said wow I'm not alone (although I know I'm not, but it's not spoken about as much..it's like taboo or something).

How is your relationship with your brother now? Does he still smell? It makes me feel bad that I feel this way but it's just facts. And how you describe your brother's strong odor reminds me of my dd's boyfriend...the smell definitely lingers and then when she is at his house, she comes home smelling like him. I hate it! I told her yesterday that she smells like him and so she took a shower. Just even from him hugging her I know gets his smell all over her.

Limit your contact with him......light a couple candles or turn on scent warmers before he arrives to your house and for the duration of while he's there. Encourage them to spend time outside in the backyard. Clean after he leaves. Limit what you say to him but if your kid starts smelling like him say something to her.

I grew up with a brother that stunk....(combination medical issue and bad hygiene) and I didn't even want to admit we were related. Everyone thought we were twins because we were in the same grade but he simply failed first grade and was held back. It was so bad I could go to the mall 3 hours after he had left and STILL know every store he stopped in by the smell lingering. It permeated everything he owned. From his shoes to his clothes and anything he owned. I'm still traumatized by it.

My eldest's best friend also has an odor.....not nearly as bad as my brother, much more mild, but definitely enough that I avoid being in the same room sometimes. Not Body odor per say more like musty/mildew....like clothes that didn't get dried in the laundry completely and were still slightly damp and left in a pile in a laundry basket for a month. It's not all the time though and I know its a result of different medications he's on because of a GI issue where he can't eat certain foods.

I haven't talked to him since 2011. Partially because I moved across the country and partly because he could never keep his phone active (would miss payments, have the number disconnected, get a new number, never inform anyone.) Oh and he picked up smoking which just adds to the odor...Last I heard he still has weekly Sunday Night Dinners with my parents (whom I have pretty much disowned and have limited contact with). I'm pretty sure he's high functioning autistic but my parent's "didn't believe in that (he just needed to apply himself more)" which probably contributed to his odor issues as he's oblivious to things like washing his bed sheets. Oh and it all started with his feet too. Not just a fungal issue but bacteria on the skin cells as well and it spread to everything he owned.

[Anonymous 1]

He bought febreeze for his car but he won't spray it on his shoes! Why not???? I certainly can't force him to do anything and neither can my DD really. ugh.

My dd goes to his house quite often (something I have allowed more because his smell really bothers me) and my DD says she has seen him apply deodorant and that he does his laundry and stuff sometimes when she is there. His feet/shoes are horrid as well and that is something my DD says she smells a lot. I smelled his feet one time when he took his shoes off at our house and it was AWFUL! I said nothing though.

It's such a tricky situation because you can't tell why he smells. I'm willing to bet he lives in a hoarder household or that he doesn't have access to a clean, fully working bathroom. Offer to wash his clothes. Buy him colognes. Set up his own personal drawer or whatever in your bathroom so that he can shower/brush his teeth while he's there. Don't tell him he smells. Just tell him to make himself at home and offer to wash his laundry, like you would if he were your kid.

Sounds like a foot fungus/bacteria issue.....He needs to buy new shoes and switch them like every 3 months and change his socks often like 2 or 3 times a day

[Baconqueen13]

I haven't spoken to either of my parents (who are still married if that matters) in 10 years! Our new neighbor last night was saying he hasn't spoken to his dad for 15 years and then they were talking about some other family members they haven't spoken to and I just blurted it out about my estrangement from my parents. I don't tell a lot of people about it. I have never seen you talk about your parents or brother on here before although I am not on here a lot. Any reason(s) you don't speak to your parents...I mean, of course there are! No child wants estrangement. One of our neighbor's cousins doesn't speak to her parents either. I said wow I'm not alone (although I know I'm not, but it's not spoken about as much..it's like taboo or something).

How is your relationship with your brother now? Does he still smell? It makes me feel bad that I feel this way but it's just facts. And how you describe your brother's strong odor reminds me of my dd's boyfriend...the smell definitely lingers and then when she is at his house, she comes home smelling like him. I hate it! I told her yesterday that she smells like him and so she took a shower. Just even from him hugging her I know gets his smell all over her.

I haven't talked to him since 2011. Partially because I moved across the country and partly because he could never keep his phone active (would miss payments, have the number disconnected, get a new number, never inform anyone.) Oh and he picked up smoking which just adds to the odor...Last I heard he still has weekly Sunday Night Dinners with my parents (whom I have pretty much disowned and have limited contact with). I'm pretty sure he's high functioning autistic but my parent's "didn't believe in that (he just needed to apply himself more)" which probably contributed to his odor issues as he's oblivious to things like washing his bed sheets. Oh and it all started with his feet too. Not just a fungal issue but bacteria on the skin cells as well and it spread to everything he owned.

Oh in my case estrangement is preferred.

My mother is a toxic narcissist and my father is her enabler. All the signs and symptoms right down to the gaslighting....it's "MY fault" that she doesn't have a relationship with her grandkids etc. even though I was the only one reaching out and making contact or taking my kids to visit them (where I would spend the whole time cleaning her house so my kids could be put down to play on the floor etc. (Stopped visiting in 2009 after moving across the country) Of course any time we tried to talk via phone or update them on what was going on my mother would make the conversation about herself....it just got old so I quit trying to keep the communication going and they never bothered to call or reach out themselves. If I don't initiate contact, there is no contact so I stopped initiating.

I have an older sister I don't talk to as well because she is just like my mother. (My mother and father even co-signed on her house). My estrangement from my brother stems from the whole smell thing, people thinking we were twins and bullying me because he stank, and the fact he sexually abused our younger sister(who is the only one I have a relationship with).
I don't really talk about any of them because they're not part of my life (haven't been for a good long time) and it's not normally relevant.......it was kind of relevant in this case.

[Baconqueen13]

He bought febreeze for his car but he won't spray it on his shoes! Why not???? I certainly can't force him to do anything and neither can my DD really. ugh.

My dd goes to his house quite often (something I have allowed more because his smell really bothers me) and my DD says she has seen him apply deodorant and that he does his laundry and stuff sometimes when she is there. His feet/shoes are horrid as well and that is something my DD says she smells a lot. I smelled his feet one time when he took his shoes off at our house and it was AWFUL! I said nothing though.

Sounds like a foot fungus/bacteria issue.....He needs to buy new shoes and switch them like every 3 months and change his socks often like 2 or 3 times a day

Oh, Febreze won't help with those. He needs new shoes first of all, and he needs to replace them often (Again every 2-3 months completely new pair, especially if he wears the one pair all the time). He needs to take them off outside and let them air out in the sun or on a covered porch.....wash and DRY his feet whenever he removes his shoes and put on clean socks. (Or at the very least change his socks every time he takes his shoes off). Think the Japanese practice of removing shoes and changing into slippers. It's likely he is wearing shoes that are a little too small or tight too because his feet aren't breathing. And then the smell will start to disappear.....as long as he is away from home where it has permeated everything else. As long as he keeps going back home, the smell will continue because the bacteria will continue to transfer to all his possessions.

[AZOldGal66]

I'm wondering if he is pulling clothes out of his hamper that have been in the hamper for awhile?
To wear, I mean.

He might be using a deodorant that's not effective and/or not bathing properly?

They met in the winter time and at that point it was a weird overall smell and now as it has been warmer outside, it smells more like BO/underarm as he sweats a lot it seems. I definitely do not want to hurt his feelings.

It could be any number of reasons why he has the issue including a possible medical reason.

This sort of thing is tricky because to say something could potentially really hurt his feelings.

Is it underarm body odor or overall?