Divorce and dating

[Anonymous 1]

I'm going through a divorce, DH and I separated a year and a half ago, as in he moved out, separated. It took me a while to save up the money to hire a lawyer, and he was fighting me on it, so I just recently filed. After I filed, I decided to download a dating app fully intending to flirt around, date some jerks, have some fun. Well damn it, the first guy who asked me out, I actually like. I kept swiping and talking to other guys for a while, but nothing ever came of those. I've been talking to the first guy for a month now, been on a handful of dates, I've been to his house, he's been to mine, and he's flat out said he's not interested in dating anyone else but we haven't talked about bf/gf titles, and honestly, I don't think I'm ready for that yet anyways.

Actually, the fact that I like him so much is freaking me out. I don't know what to do about it. For what it's worth, I trauma dumped on him pretty early on, he knows I'm not divorced yet and why I'm getting divorced. And he still wants to date me.

He's genuinely my type. We share a lot of interests and humor, so I don't think it's just latching onto a rebound. And I'm probably over thinking it, but I was married 12 years. Jumping into something else right away doesn't exactly feel right either.

I don't know what to do... break it off or see where it goes? IDK

[KendallsMom]

Go for it!

DH was separated from his wife for only a few months when we met.

We've been together for 30 years and married for 18 of those.

Best wishes!

[carterscutie85]

If dating him makes you happy then there's no reason to stop that just because of some rules society makes.

[MonarchMom]

Sounds like you are comfortable with this guy, able to be honest, and trust he is sincere. Those are all important and not always so easy to find when dating. Enjoy that and appreciated where things are right now.

No need to take it any further or speculate on the future yet. He knows you are still transitioning from marriage, and you will need some time and space for that adjustment.

If this was me, I would tell myself I won't try to put a definition or expectation on this relationship until 6 months after the divorce is finalized. Give yourself the breathing room to discover how this new phase of life feels and what you want from a relationship.

[sarah824]

When DH & I first got together I was in the process of divorcing my first husband, but it was not yet final. He knew all of that and didn't run away screaming. Everyone told me it was a "rebound" thing, but we have now been together 22+ years and married for 20.

Do what works for you and makes YOU happy. Sounds like you deserve it!