Hi - so sorry to hear your sister has decided to put her need for things to not be "hard" above her connection to you and your kids. You sound like a great Mom.PoplarGrove wrote: ↑Wed Apr 03, 2024 4:11 pm So, I have an update and I think Christmas just got a whole lot easier for my family.
I messaged in the group chat and jokingly said "Would have liked to see you guys. I guess maybe this summer if my family isn't too much for you all" and got the response from my sister of "you guys are a little too weird all at once". So then I called her...
Back story for context:
A year ago my third child came out as trans.
Last Spring my second child came out as gay and brought her girlfriend to family thanksgiving and Christmas.
In the summer my oldest child's partner came out as non-binary and began dressing very feminine and were at Thanksgiving and Christmas as their true self.
At Christmas my third told his cousins that he had a different name and used he/him pronouns and my sister seemed a little peeved that he told them himself instead of letting her do it (she was asked to do this before Thanksgiving and didn't and my son was upset and uncomfortable being deadnamed and misgendered and I took him home after an hour - her children are 17, 14 and 11 so they're not babies)
My oldest told me after the fact that she wouldn't be attending any more family gatherings because she, her partner and my second daughter and her girlfriend were ignored by everyone at Christmas and ended up hanging out in a corner by themselves. My youngest 2 hung out with their 17 year old cousin.
Apparently, according to our conversation, my children make my sisters uncomfortable and their children ask too many questions about them so they thought it would be easier if my family just wasn't invited. One thing that kept being reiterated was that it was unfair that I expected them to use the proper pronouns for people. "they/them" for my daughter's partner and "he/him" for my son because "it's hard" and she hopes I understand. I understand loud and clear.
I'm glad you are getting answers so you know what is going on. Sometimes it is easier to move on when we are able to see things clearly and take a step back. Your sister(s) can choose to prioritize avoiding reality over extended family ties, that is their choice. You can continue on your path of loving and supporting your own family at home.