How can I feel better about this

[LiveWhatULove]

When these things happen to me, I craft a story in my mind and reframe the incident. I am not sure if it will work for you.

Mine would go something like this — this mother who hit you is in horrible debt, she was late on her insurance and she is a a single mom struggling. She panicked and made a really bad choice in the heat of the moment due to her life just being in shambles thinking, “well she did not get out her car, so maybe it was not as bad as I thought.” And then a day later she thinks, “oh my god, what a blessing, I must have not hurt that car.” I must be more careful and the next time I get door dings, maybd I can pass it on.

I believe in good will or karma, and by forgiving this women, I’ll probably get a large blessing boomeranged at me at some point. I would remind myself I have shelter and food and awesome kids and nice vehicles and all sorts of things to feel joyous about I will not let the poor lady ruin that for me everyday in the drive off line.

And that would be that.

I had a man hit me in a parking lot once, it was minor as these things go, but I was 2 doors (about $1500 worth of damage), he had tears in his eyes, he said he had recently moved here and was jobless, living in a shelter, without insurance. His kid was coming out of great clips otherwise I am sure he would have run. I was so flippin’ mad as I worked so hard for my van!! But I looked at him and his son and the old beater truck, and thought, “I cannot squeeze blood from a turnip, am I really going to call the cops on this guy to figure out if this is some con, and if it isn’t, am I going to really cause him to get more tickets. And thought “damn it” and sighed & said, “I hope you have better times, good luck to you” & I bounced.

It was 3 years ago, I have no regrets. I was rear-ended about 8 months later, and my son were not injured, I feel it was part of that karma coming back as my van was really messed up — and as the rear-ending guy’s insurance fixed my entire van back side, the shop also fixed the parking lot dent for a super small fee and all was well.

I only share that, in hopes that you can let go of the anger, and realize in the scheme of 80-100 years of life, it is worth letting go!

[Traci_Momof2]

So if this happened to me, I would be mad in the moment but then let insurance handle it and let it go because that's why we have insurance.

But I also live with someone with anxiety and I know the anxiety brain doesn't really work that way. But if insurance has taken care of the damage, there is not really anything else to do except whatever you need to do to move on from the incident. I hope you can find that peace that you are looking for.

[PoplarGrove]

Your anxiety is being triggered because you feel violated. And you have every reason so feel violated because the person who hit you is an asshole who doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions.

Technically, if they hit you on the road, they're guilty of leaving the scene of an accident. If you have their correct license plate and you gave a description of the vehicle and it matches the license plate when the cops run it they might do something but if your police are like our police it's not going to be a matter of importance to them because no one was hurt and your insurance is covering it.

You could try to reframe it in your head as they probably didn't stop because they either don't have insurance or they have enough accidents that their insurance would go up and they freaked out and left the scene. IF it were me I wouldn't try to talk to them because they may get very defensive and it could make everything worse for you. It could also help to think that they feel just as anxious as you do when they see you.

[SisterSomeone]

There may be a much simpler explanation for all this. So this incident happened in the school pickup line and you said it's not much damage to your car. I'm guessing the speed was exceedingly low and the impact wasn't super violent? There's a good chance the other driver simply didn't realize that they hit you in the first place.

Personally, I'd be probably be pissed off in the moment and then I'd leave it to insurance and be done with it. From your replies, I get the impression that you're looking for closure and for someone to do something about this, which is natural and a valid thing to want, but imo, you're not super likely to get what you're after no matter what you do at this point and dwelling on this is neither a productive use of your time nor healthy for you. It's time to focus on the best way for you to heal and move on.

[Pjmm]

Have you contacted the school to see if there are cameras? Our building has cameras that cover the entire parking and pick up line for both parents and busses.

On to your next issue—the person likely didn’t have insurance and that is why they drove away. For as angry as you are, and annoyed they are likely equally paranoid that they will get caught.

At this point you can either try to let it go, or you can try to get past it. Either way, the situation is over, and dwelling on it at this point isn’t going to change it.

Good luck coming to peace.

Quite possibly they just don't want their rates to go up.

Or they panicked who knows. I've done dumb ass things when I was young that I regret. OP I wouldn't say these people are doing illicit drugs or are hardened criminals. Yes they're A-holes but insurance is taking care of the issue. I'd avoid them as much as possible, breathe when I see them, and remind myself what goes around comes around. Don't let them live rent free in your head.