I'm done

[RealisticBeauty]

Once you’re divorced there’s no reason to attend events like that. Especially if there is a new SO in the picture. It’s awkward and rude af imo. I wonder if they’re doing it to be spiteful or they genuinely don’t get it. My husband was furious when he found out MIL and SIL were still hanging out with his ex wife and she wasn’t even invited to events.

Which speaks volumes about him, what kind of person he is and what kind of husband he was to her. The current wife doesn't typically have the true story of what went on with the ex wife. They are totally willing to believe whatever lies he tells that makes him look good while painting the ex as a bitch. I can't believe so many stupidly buy into that but it happens every day. Desperate to have a man I suppose.

Well that is not the case with me. I don't care about their past.

[RealisticBeauty]

I am no longer attending my SO family events. His ex wife shows up at everything and for the last few years I either didn't go because I wasn't interested or I went and dealt with it. I get why some ex still attend events but now I feel like she is going overboard. His niece had a 1st birthday party for her kid yesterday and sure enough his ex wife was there when we arrive. She is always super early so no matter what time we get to any event, she is already there. I hate that I can never get comfortable because she is always watching me, him or our son. And she goes out of her way to keep a conversation going with me. Since their kids are grown we were certain that this would be the 1 event that she would not attend but nope. My SO said she doesn't understand social boundaries so expect her to be at everything. GREAT so his ex is exactly like him. They are all odd and I will be skipping the Christmas dinner. His mom never made it into town for Halloween so she wants to meet me and our son for the first time at Christmas dinner. His sister is hosting it and she said all of the grandkids will be there so that means his ex will likely be there with their grown kids. The dinner will be way too intimate for me so I'm skipping it. I don't feel comfortable sitting at a table and discussing my life in front of his ex.

So she's actually reacting to this situation in the exact way you would expect an emotionally mature person to react. YOU are the one who's choosing to react in a self-absorbed, insecure and controlling manner. They were HER family before they became your family, and she has every right to maintain contact if she can do so without drama, which apparently she can do but you cannot. Grow up. She is not the problem here, you are.

Her intentions are not good

[RealisticBeauty]

This is your husbands responsibility to tell his family no. So your issue lies with him.

He doesn't care to go to anything. he only goes because he agrees that our son needs to know his family

[RealisticBeauty]

Is she mean to you or just nosey?

She's very nosey. She even took it upon herself to contact my minor son on social media and tell him that I was having a new baby.

[RealisticBeauty]

Of course it's ok not to go if you don't want to. That's not the topic. The ex does want to go, which is OPs problem. OP for some reason thinks she should be able to dictate where this woman goes/doesn't go just because she's currently bleeding him dry. I guess she's afraid of interference.

She's the last person that I'm worried about being successful at interfering. She texted my SO the other day and asked him if she could take our son to a Christmas parade. I literally laughed my ass off after reading that. At that point I knew the lady has issues.

His ew wanted to take your baby out for the day to the parade? Is that correct?

Yes and that is not normal

[Anonymous 2]

Once you’re divorced there’s no reason to attend events like that. Especially if there is a new SO in the picture. It’s awkward and rude af imo. I wonder if they’re doing it to be spiteful or they genuinely don’t get it. My husband was furious when he found out MIL and SIL were still hanging out with his ex wife and she wasn’t even invited to events.

There's no reason the ex can't be around just because there was a divorce. If the ex was around a while, was well liked, ingratiated into the family, and everyone got along why should the family be deprived of her company? They've clearly bonded. She also is the mother to children who have that family's blood in their veins. She's forever linked to them.

Everyone needs to be mature adults. The caveat here is if the ex was cheating/abusive. Then no, the person shouldn't be forced to still see their ex if it was a horrible, bitter split. Under normal "we just don't get along" circumstances, there's no reason for the family to hate the ex.

[Valentina327]

Is she mean to you or just nosey?

She's very nosey. She even took it upon herself to contact my minor son on social media and tell him that I was having a new baby.

Didn't he know already?

[RealisticBeauty]

Is she mean to you or just nosey?

She's very nosey. She even took it upon herself to contact my minor son on social media and tell him that I was having a new baby.

Didn't he know already?

No. I haven't told anyone on my side of the family yet. I planned to tell my kids and family when I turned 20 weeks and I was going to include them in a gender reveal party. She spilled the beans to him before I had a chance to.

[Valentina327]

My ex shows up at everything. It works for us. He hangs out in the back or with the kids and bothers no one. And bonus, he gets some great pictures! This way, I get the girls every holiday and he gets to see them every holiday. Win win.

That's nice to see that level of maturity with co parenting.

[Olioxenfree]

Just don't talk to her. Ignore her. It is really petty to keep your son away from his grandmother solely because you can't deal with being in the same room as his ex.

I just don't like the idea of spilling my life story while she's sitting across the table from. My life story isn't any of her business.

So then don't... I don't see why you would have to spill your life story at the Christmas dinner table...