No drama question re: weddings and money

[Anonymous 5]

I usually give $400-500, but venue is an important consideration. I usually give that much because I’m usually attending fancy weddings at fancy places. I would give less if it was a backyard BBQ.

[mojogirl]

Depends

[mojogirl]

I usually give $400-500, but venue is an important consideration. I usually give that much because I’m usually attending fancy weddings at fancy places. I would give less if it was a backyard BBQ.

Seems like the people with the backyard bbq would need it more than those at the plaza. What I hear you saying is "I give based on what I perceive is the value I get out of it." Classy.

[Anonymous 6]

I usually give $400-500, but venue is an important consideration. I usually give that much because I’m usually attending fancy weddings at fancy places. I would give less if it was a backyard BBQ.

Seems like the people with the backyard bbq would need it more than those at the plaza. What I hear you saying is "I give based on what I perceive is the value I get out of it." Classy.

That’s common around here too. The idea is just to cover the cost of your plate, plus an extra amount based on your relationship with the host. So if I imagine two close friends marrying - one is a backyard BBQ at roughly $25/person, I might give them $150, while one that’s a fancy party is $150/person, I might give them $300. It’s not being given based on need or what you got out of it’s, it’s being given based on having them not lose money on you being there, plus a gift on top of it.

[Anonymous 4]

I didn't get that out of it at all. I took it to mean that she thinks a fancy venue might cost the bride and groom more than a backyard BBQ might. So...she wants to give more when it cost the bride and groom more. Not saying that's a right or wrong thing to do. But it sounds to me like that's what she may have been saying.

I usually give $400-500, but venue is an important consideration. I usually give that much because I’m usually attending fancy weddings at fancy places. I would give less if it was a backyard BBQ.

Seems like the people with the backyard bbq would need it more than those at the plaza. What I hear you saying is "I give based on what I perceive is the value I get out of it." Classy.

[Traci_Momof2]

How much I spend on a gift is going to depend partly on how close I am to the couple, partly on our own budget, and partly too on how much we had to spend to get there. The most recent wedding we attended, DH's cousin, they made it very clear that their biggest gift was having the people they love there. They didn't want people spending a lot on gifts or giving a lot of money, especially for those people who traveled from far away. So I ordered and sent them an ironing board off of their gift registry. I'm trying to remember if I sent something else as well. But I think what I spent was around $40-$45.

[Traci_Momof2]

I usually give $400-500, but venue is an important consideration. I usually give that much because I’m usually attending fancy weddings at fancy places. I would give less if it was a backyard BBQ.

Seems like the people with the backyard bbq would need it more than those at the plaza. What I hear you saying is "I give based on what I perceive is the value I get out of it." Classy.

That’s common around here too. The idea is just to cover the cost of your plate, plus an extra amount based on your relationship with the host. So if I imagine two close friends marrying - one is a backyard BBQ at roughly $25/person, I might give them $150, while one that’s a fancy party is $150/person, I might give them $300. It’s not being given based on need or what you got out of it’s, it’s being given based on having them not lose money on you being there, plus a gift on top of it.

This is how I've always seen it. The couple is providing food and entertainment at the reception. Part of your gift is sort of reimbursing them for that, for lack of a better way to say it. If you go to a restaurant and order lobster it's going to cost a lot more than if you order bbq chicken. So at a wedding reception, if they are serving you lobster they spent a lot more than if they served you bbq chicken.

Same concept as kid's b-day parties just different scale. But when you throw a b-day party, other kids are bringing gifts for your kid, in exchange you are feeding and entertaining those other kids.

[Anonymous 1]

Trashy.

My cousin set up a GoFundMe honeymoon account and asked everyone to fund their honeymoon Instead of gifts. We are giving 300.

[Anonymous 4]

Honestly, I've got mixed emotions on this one. Last year I was invited to a bridal shower. The couple in question had been living with each other in their purchased home for about 2 years at the time of the soon-to-be wedding. According to their parents, "They have everything they need. So they are just going to ask guests to donate to their honeymoon."

So...inside the bridal shower invite there was a slip of paper that said, "in lieu of a gift, please consider donating to the couple's VIP honeymoon GoFundMe." At the time, this rubbed me wrong. To me, it's really no different than saying, "Please give cash. We don't want your stinkin' gifts." Something about it does seem a little tacky to me.

Trashy.

My cousin set up a GoFundMe honeymoon account and asked everyone to fund their honeymoon Instead of gifts. We are giving 300.

[MrsDavidB]

That is odd. The biggest part of the shower is the bride opening the gifts. So if there were no gifts what was the shower for? Just to eat? Weird.

Honestly, I've got mixed emotions on this one. Last year I was invited to a bridal shower. The couple in question had been living with each other in their purchased home for about 2 years at the time of the soon-to-be wedding. According to their parents, "They have everything they need. So they are just going to ask guests to donate to their honeymoon."

So...inside the bridal shower invite there was a slip of paper that said, "in lieu of a gift, please consider donating to the couple's VIP honeymoon GoFundMe." At the time, this rubbed me wrong. To me, it's really no different than saying, "Please give cash. We don't want your stinkin' gifts." Something about it does seem a little tacky to me.

Trashy.

My cousin set up a GoFundMe honeymoon account and asked everyone to fund their honeymoon Instead of gifts. We are giving 300.