Ex MIL actually tried to kill herself and she might not make it through

[Anonymous 3]

There is such a stigma against people who have cut off their families. It's always be the bigger person,she gave birth to you,she fed you,that's how she is,she's still your mom..It's ridiculous. Them we get your a pos for doing that. So what wishes stole your child's San and bought 9000 dollars worth of leggings. You should just pay it because she's your mom. Or it's your kids fault he shouldn't have pressed charges. People don't think that when one chooses to walk away from family it's on a whim. It's a minor thing to get upset over. What they don't realize is that it's usually a minor thing on top of all the horrible things in the past. They don't realize the grief we go through. We grieve for that relationship lost and we grieve for the relationships to never come. It's painful all the way around it's filled with pain. The pain of the past,the pain of the now and the pain of the future

Not always. There are people that are completely toxic and will ruin anyone and anything around them. They don't deserve a relationship with their own child or grandchild. Your mother would be one of those. There's a massive difference between the circumstances with your family and others who get their nose out of joint over a perceived slight or a parent giving them a piece of unsolicited advice.

I'm so sorry that you've had the experiences that you have. No one should have that kind of crap to deal with from a parent. Decisions like you've had to make aren't undertaken lightly.

I hate to judge anyone who does make that choice though. Something I have learned through therapy and support groups is that its always the little thing that makes people walk away. After years and years of complete bs its literally the smallest of smallest thing that makes the person break. That makes someone go thats it. Im F***ing done with this. If I cant trust you with the smallest thing then how can I for the bigger thing. Kwim?

That's how my DIL ended up cutting off her mother. Her life has been infinitely better since she removed her toxic mother from it.

[Momto2boys973]

Yes, you can...

One can NOT overdose from Tylenol.

[Anonymous 11]

I just wanted my kids to be able to know their cousins.

Here's what I had to deal with and, right or wrong, this is how I handled it.

I have children & I have a brother (with children) who absolutely was never making an attempt to reach out to me or any family members. If I wanted to see him or his family, I had to run to him. He would never make the 40 minute drive to my house. If I wanted to get our kids together, I had to make the 40 minute drive to him, pick up his kids, drive 40 minutes back to my home and then do the same to return his kids to him. I'm not a tit-for-tat sort of person; but this arrangement with him was taxing and his obvious lack of desire to participate in the relationship with me was very hurtful to me.

I'm certain that he would never harm my kids. I would definitely trust my kids in his care. But after many years of participating in this very one-sided relationship, I had had enough. It became very obvious to me that I was never going to have a reciprocating relationship with my brother. BUT I did not want my children to be deprived of a relationship with their uncle or more importantly, their cousins. And so, yes. I'd cart my kids to his house and allow the kids to have one another...for years. My brother and I are still not close. He never did make the attempt to reciprocate the relationship with me or any of our other siblings. But over the course of these past 20 years, while we didn't have a relationship, our kids were bonding with one another and now do have great relationships with one another. THEY are now all very close. And because of that, I have no regrets about allowing my brother access to my kids or allowing my kids access to him & his kids. I felt I owed that to my kids.

If I thought my brother would have harmed my kids in any way, I definitely would have denied him access to them. But I'm not going to deny him access to my kids simply because I am upset with him or because he doesn't give OUR relationship the attention it deserves. As long as he is treating my kids well, our kids can have one another, and they can come to at least know their uncle, that's all that matters to me.

that makes no logical sense though. How can a 3 year old have access to say his Uncle if I am not speaking to his Uncle? A 3 year old cannot arrange a visit. A 3 year old cannot drive himself to said visit.

To get the minor-you have to deal with the parents. No other way around that

The f**k if you think I would drive my kid over an hour to see BIL and then wait in the goddamn car. LOL I don't think so

its not the same. And there are people that live nearby who reciprocate my kids can associate with. Whom I actually like and enjoy. Just because they are related to me does not mean I have to go to some huge effort. When there are non relatives who are 1000 times better we could be hanging out with

[RedBottoms]

I just wanted my kids to be able to know their cousins.

Here's what I had to deal with and, right or wrong, this is how I handled it.

I have children & I have a brother (with children) who absolutely was never making an attempt to reach out to me or any family members. If I wanted to see him or his family, I had to run to him. He would never make the 40 minute drive to my house. If I wanted to get our kids together, I had to make the 40 minute drive to him, pick up his kids, drive 40 minutes back to my home and then do the same to return his kids to him. I'm not a tit-for-tat sort of person; but this arrangement with him was taxing and his obvious lack of desire to participate in the relationship with me was very hurtful to me.

I'm certain that he would never harm my kids. I would definitely trust my kids in his care. But after many years of participating in this very one-sided relationship, I had had enough. It became very obvious to me that I was never going to have a reciprocating relationship with my brother. BUT I did not want my children to be deprived of a relationship with their uncle or more importantly, their cousins. And so, yes. I'd cart my kids to his house and allow the kids to have one another...for years. My brother and I are still not close. He never did make the attempt to reciprocate the relationship with me or any of our other siblings. But over the course of these past 20 years, while we didn't have a relationship, our kids were bonding with one another and now do have great relationships with one another. THEY are now all very close. And because of that, I have no regrets about allowing my brother access to my kids or allowing my kids access to him & his kids. I felt I owed that to my kids.

If I thought my brother would have harmed my kids in any way, I definitely would have denied him access to them. But I'm not going to deny him access to my kids simply because I am upset with him or because he doesn't give OUR relationship the attention it deserves. As long as he is treating my kids well, our kids can have one another, and they can come to at least know their uncle, that's all that matters to me.

its not the same. And there are people that live nearby who reciprocate my kids can associate with. Whom I actually like and enjoy. Just because they are related to me does not mean I have to go to some huge effort. When there are non relatives who are 1000 times better we could be hanging out with

and that is fine. You were willing to put up with him so your kids can know their cousins. Perfectly fine. I was not willing to put up with BIL and SIL so my kids can know their cousins. Both are perfectly valid choices.

[Anonymous 11]

Thank you so much for saying that. It was really important to me that they could have one another. I have no regrets and am so happy for all the kids!

Here's what I had to deal with and, right or wrong, this is how I handled it.

I have children & I have a brother (with children) who absolutely was never making an attempt to reach out to me or any family members. If I wanted to see him or his family, I had to run to him. He would never make the 40 minute drive to my house. If I wanted to get our kids together, I had to make the 40 minute drive to him, pick up his kids, drive 40 minutes back to my home and then do the same to return his kids to him. I'm not a tit-for-tat sort of person; but this arrangement with him was taxing and his obvious lack of desire to participate in the relationship with me was very hurtful to me.

I'm certain that he would never harm my kids. I would definitely trust my kids in his care. But after many years of participating in this very one-sided relationship, I had had enough. It became very obvious to me that I was never going to have a reciprocating relationship with my brother. BUT I did not want my children to be deprived of a relationship with their uncle or more importantly, their cousins. And so, yes. I'd cart my kids to his house and allow the kids to have one another...for years. My brother and I are still not close. He never did make the attempt to reciprocate the relationship with me or any of our other siblings. But over the course of these past 20 years, while we didn't have a relationship, our kids were bonding with one another and now do have great relationships with one another. THEY are now all very close. And because of that, I have no regrets about allowing my brother access to my kids or allowing my kids access to him & his kids. I felt I owed that to my kids.

If I thought my brother would have harmed my kids in any way, I definitely would have denied him access to them. But I'm not going to deny him access to my kids simply because I am upset with him or because he doesn't give OUR relationship the attention it deserves. As long as he is treating my kids well, our kids can have one another, and they can come to at least know their uncle, that's all that matters to me.

that makes no logical sense though. How can a 3 year old have access to say his Uncle if I am not speaking to his Uncle? A 3 year old cannot arrange a visit. A 3 year old cannot drive himself to said visit.

To get the minor-you have to deal with the parents. No other way around that

The f**k if you think I would drive my kid over an hour to see BIL and then wait in the goddamn car. LOL I don't think so

That's good to read. You decided to be the better person for your kids sake. They've got great relationships that they wouldn't have had if it weren't for you. ❤

[Anonymous 11]

I feel bad for QuantumNursuing. And I agree with you.

Nope. Wow! I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

There is such a stigma against people who have cut off their families. It's always be the bigger person,she gave birth to you,she fed you,that's how she is,she's still your mom..It's ridiculous. Them we get your a pos for doing that. So what wishes stole your child's San and bought 9000 dollars worth of leggings. You should just pay it because she's your mom. Or it's your kids fault he shouldn't have pressed charges. People don't think that when one chooses to walk away from family it's on a whim. It's a minor thing to get upset over. What they don't realize is that it's usually a minor thing on top of all the horrible things in the past. They don't realize the grief we go through. We grieve for that relationship lost and we grieve for the relationships to never come. It's painful all the way around it's filled with pain. The pain of the past,the pain of the now and the pain of the future

Not always. There are people that are completely toxic and will ruin anyone and anything around them. They don't deserve a relationship with their own child or grandchild. Your mother would be one of those. There's a massive difference between the circumstances with your family and others who get their nose out of joint over a perceived slight or a parent giving them a piece of unsolicited advice.

I'm so sorry that you've had the experiences that you have. No one should have that kind of crap to deal with from a parent. Decisions like you've had to make aren't undertaken lightly.

[Anonymous 11]

This I totally understand, too. There's only so much that any one person can take.

There is such a stigma against people who have cut off their families. It's always be the bigger person,she gave birth to you,she fed you,that's how she is,she's still your mom..It's ridiculous. Them we get your a pos for doing that. So what wishes stole your child's San and bought 9000 dollars worth of leggings. You should just pay it because she's your mom. Or it's your kids fault he shouldn't have pressed charges. People don't think that when one chooses to walk away from family it's on a whim. It's a minor thing to get upset over. What they don't realize is that it's usually a minor thing on top of all the horrible things in the past. They don't realize the grief we go through. We grieve for that relationship lost and we grieve for the relationships to never come. It's painful all the way around it's filled with pain. The pain of the past,the pain of the now and the pain of the future

Not always. There are people that are completely toxic and will ruin anyone and anything around them. They don't deserve a relationship with their own child or grandchild. Your mother would be one of those. There's a massive difference between the circumstances with your family and others who get their nose out of joint over a perceived slight or a parent giving them a piece of unsolicited advice.

I'm so sorry that you've had the experiences that you have. No one should have that kind of crap to deal with from a parent. Decisions like you've had to make aren't undertaken lightly.

I hate to judge anyone who does make that choice though. Something I have learned through therapy and support groups is that its always the little thing that makes people walk away. After years and years of complete bs its literally the smallest of smallest thing that makes the person break. That makes someone go thats it. Im F***ing done with this. If I cant trust you with the smallest thing then how can I for the bigger thing. Kwim?

[famousglm714]

I agree.

She probably thought it would be a way to manipulate you into letting her see the kids. If anything it just showed she's not a safe person to be around. If she doesn't make it it's not your fault or problem.

[Anonymous 11]

Thanks. I always say, "All we can do is the best that we can." And when we're faced with having to make a difficult decision, all we can do is make the choice that we think we can live with. The difficult part about that, though, is sometimes it takes years for us to know if the decision we made was the best one. If only we all got guarantees at the TIME we made our choices! KWIM? We can never know. Only time will tell.

My decision was a hard one. But in the end, fortunately it has worked out. I was lucky, though, I think. The end result may not have been a good one, too! KWIM?

I just wanted my kids to be able to know their cousins.

its not the same. And there are people that live nearby who reciprocate my kids can associate with. Whom I actually like and enjoy. Just because they are related to me does not mean I have to go to some huge effort. When there are non relatives who are 1000 times better we could be hanging out with

and that is fine. You were willing to put up with him so your kids can know their cousins. Perfectly fine. I was not willing to put up with BIL and SIL so my kids can know their cousins. Both are perfectly valid choices.

[Anonymous 4]

Prove your point please. Please prove how Tylenol is the only drug ever made that you can't take too much of aka overdose.

While taking 100 Tylenol at once will most certainly make you puke your guts up it won't kill you as an overdose on hydros or Xanax would. It's pretty simple.

.
The liver damage can be fatal.

It's not immediate.