Reward people who use the system

[RedBottoms]

My husband wasn’t fortunate enough to finish a college degree. His parents didn’t have degrees so they felt their kids didn’t need them either. He instead chose to go to work fresh out of high school. I was fortunate enough to go to school to
obtain my undergrad and then post graduate degrees. The irony is my “uneducated” spouse makes more a year than I do as a pre-k teacher. Go figure. We can all be smug as 30 and 40 something adults but remember we too were young once and could have easily made “mistakes” that would have altered our parhs so instead of being judgemental why not try to solve these issues for future generations lest our own children be on the shot end of the stick themselves—which yes could happen unless we lock them on a tower until they too are educated and financially responsible.

You never know. It could be you one day.
Yes, we all know your dh makes enough money so you can sah and tell stories on the internet.

But if he got sick and could not work and you couldn't make enough and all your savings is going to outrageous medical cost while keeping your home and paying bills.

You might find yourself applying for benefits.

Sweetie-I have an education I got BEFORE having kids. So at the very least I am practicing what I preach. You are supposed to go to trade school or college BEFORE having kids. Which I did.

and that is a valid choice too. If you can get a job making good money without going to college-do it! But that still means you are meeting the qualifications of not having kids till you have a place to live, transportation, savings, steady decent income, health insurance-since he did have all that.

[RedBottoms]

You have a bullshit degree that is old as f**k

If you managed to even get a job with it you would barely make minimum wage

You aren’t any better

At least his degree is worth something

I never said his degree was not worth something. I congratulated him on it multiple times actually. I just pointed out it would have been better to get that BEFORE having 2 kids. Is that incorrect?

No that’s not correct

His degree is better than a worthless one that you can’t do anything with

You aren’t better because you went to school and then did nothing with your life besides live off someone else

My credit report and bank account would suggest otherwise

[Deleted User 172]

That is when you call in favors and get help from family and friends for one thing. I would be having people help with the carting kids around to activities for dang sure. If it got bad enough they would have to quit the activities. My mom would probably be up here all the time helping and I would make MIL help since its HER son that is sick/dying. And while we had the help from our village-I would find a job with my degree and make do with that. DH also would still have health insurance and stuff through FMLA I would imagine.

FMLA is for 12 weeks. Hopefully, your job has a good insurance plan.
Btw i had chemo with a lady that was homeless. The cancer center was able to get her a voucher for a hotel. She lost her job and went right through her savings trying to stay afloat eventually her home was foreclosed.

Many people are forced to stop treatment because they can no longer afford it.

2 years ago i donated some of my ostomy supplies to a family that was paying a $475 copay every two weeks for her dh chemo.

Don't bark if you can't bite.

you can't CHOOSE to get cancer. You can CHOOSE to have kids. There in lies the difference hun. I would never have kids if I did not have health insurance, savings, an education, a reliable good spouse, a place to live, transportation, and a steady income.

OP's son choose to have not even 1 but 2 kids without all that. It was not good decision making any way you slice it.

I however applaud him for working hard and getting an education and trying to dig himself out of that mistake.

'But your side track argument really has nothing to do with this.

I hate it when people call having kids a mistake.

[AuntFlo]

I never said his degree was not worth something. I congratulated him on it multiple times actually. I just pointed out it would have been better to get that BEFORE having 2 kids. Is that incorrect?

No that’s not correct

His degree is better than a worthless one that you can’t do anything with

You aren’t better because you went to school and then did nothing with your life besides live off someone else

My credit report and bank account would suggest otherwise

Because you live off of other people

That’s not an accomplishment

[scemily526]

He’s a perfect example of why the uneducated shouldn’t have children. He chose to do so (twice) and is now paying for it. No sympathy.

would it have been better if he HAD been educated first, then had a life changing accident, draining ALL his savings, putting him on welfare/SSD, and STILL looking for handouts, since SSD doesn't pay shit to live on?

One life circumstance can change a person's life FOREVER -- I hope you never experience true trauma

[Anonymous 7]

Again, no one is arguing otherwise.

No sh*t. No one is saying differently. You’re arguing an entirely different point.

Point is is you can do everything to prepare not to use services but you never know what can happen.

Not really. You can have safe guards set up and still be in line applying for benefits.

[RedBottoms]

FMLA is for 12 weeks. Hopefully, your job has a good insurance plan.
Btw i had chemo with a lady that was homeless. The cancer center was able to get her a voucher for a hotel. She lost her job and went right through her savings trying to stay afloat eventually her home was foreclosed.

Many people are forced to stop treatment because they can no longer afford it.

2 years ago i donated some of my ostomy supplies to a family that was paying a $475 copay every two weeks for her dh chemo.

Don't bark if you can't bite.

you can't CHOOSE to get cancer. You can CHOOSE to have kids. There in lies the difference hun. I would never have kids if I did not have health insurance, savings, an education, a reliable good spouse, a place to live, transportation, and a steady income.

OP's son choose to have not even 1 but 2 kids without all that. It was not good decision making any way you slice it.

I however applaud him for working hard and getting an education and trying to dig himself out of that mistake.

'But your side track argument really has nothing to do with this.

I hate it when people call having kids a mistake.

Doesn't make it not true.

[Msprekteacher]

Actually he didn’t. He had to work his way up to those things. He started out making minimum wage which at the time was below $5 an hour, health insurance forget it, he couldn’t afford it. He lived with me for a year before we were married and in fact after we were married collectively we made $16 an hour. My point is, if we had had our first then it would have sucked but 20 years later we would be flying high. If you wait til the “perfect time” you may miss out on the perfect moment. So again let us not judge lest we ourselves be judged.

My husband wasn’t fortunate enough to finish a college degree. His parents didn’t have degrees so they felt their kids didn’t need them either. He instead chose to go to work fresh out of high school. I was fortunate enough to go to school to
obtain my undergrad and then post graduate degrees. The irony is my “uneducated” spouse makes more a year than I do as a pre-k teacher. Go figure. We can all be smug as 30 and 40 something adults but remember we too were young once and could have easily made “mistakes” that would have altered our parhs so instead of being judgemental why not try to solve these issues for future generations lest our own children be on the shot end of the stick themselves—which yes could happen unless we lock them on a tower until they too are educated and financially responsible.

Sweetie-I have an education I got BEFORE having kids. So at the very least I am practicing what I preach. You are supposed to go to trade school or college BEFORE having kids. Which I did.

and that is a valid choice too. If you can get a job making good money without going to college-do it! But that still means you are meeting the qualifications of not having kids till you have a place to live, transportation, savings, steady decent income, health insurance-since he did have all that.

[RedBottoms]

No that’s not correct

His degree is better than a worthless one that you can’t do anything with

You aren’t better because you went to school and then did nothing with your life besides live off someone else

My credit report and bank account would suggest otherwise

Because you live off of other people

That’s not an accomplishment

People? Plural? No. We live on off income from one person-my husband and partner. Is he not a good Dad because I do most of the kid work? No. We are a partnership and team.

And FYI I handle all bill paying and budgeting MYSELF. DH does not do it. So staying on budget and living within our means is 100% because of me.

[RedBottoms]

Actually he didn’t. He had to work his way up to those things. He started out making minimum wage which at the time was below $5 an hour, health insurance forget it, he couldn’t afford it. He lived with me for a year before we were married and in fact after we were married collectively we made $16 an hour. My point is, if we had had our first then it would have sucked but 20 years later we would be flying high. If you wait til the “perfect time” you may miss out on the perfect moment. So again let us not judge lest we ourselves be judged.

My husband wasn’t fortunate enough to finish a college degree. His parents didn’t have degrees so they felt their kids didn’t need them either. He instead chose to go to work fresh out of high school. I was fortunate enough to go to school to
obtain my undergrad and then post graduate degrees. The irony is my “uneducated” spouse makes more a year than I do as a pre-k teacher. Go figure. We can all be smug as 30 and 40 something adults but remember we too were young once and could have easily made “mistakes” that would have altered our parhs so instead of being judgemental why not try to solve these issues for future generations lest our own children be on the shot end of the stick themselves—which yes could happen unless we lock them on a tower until they too are educated and financially responsible.

and that is a valid choice too. If you can get a job making good money without going to college-do it! But that still means you are meeting the qualifications of not having kids till you have a place to live, transportation, savings, steady decent income, health insurance-since he did have all that.

I am judged every day of my life